The one where I start calling my boyfriend my fiancé

As you know, I recently got engaged. You might not have noticed, perhaps I didn’t mention it? Oh no, hang on, I did. A MILLION TIMES.

I’ve actually had the ring on my finger for nearly a month now, I just didn’t tell the internet straight away as I wanted to milk the whole ‘face to face announcement’ thing. I wanted to be able to turn up at book group and shove my hand in people’s faces and have them be actually excited rather than just saying ‘oh yeah, I saw on Facebook’. That’s definitely not as much fun.

Engagement ring

Oh whoops, how did that get there? I must have accidentally taken a picture of my own hand while typing this post.

So, a month in, and I have yet to have that moment where I refer to my ‘fiancé’ in a random conversation with a stranger OR on a blog post. Boyfriend is easy to say, but somehow I feel like fiancé doesn’t fit as casually into a sentence. Especially as I know I would put way to much emphasis on the last syllable and end up just sounding a bit of a knob.

‘Oh yes, my fiancé was just saying the other day darling…’

You see? Is that just me or does it sound crap?

I fear I have turned it into a thing in my head – fiancé is just a word – so today I am staring awkwardness right in the face and calling its bluff by turning what should be a non-issue into an entire blog post. That will teach it.

I have set myself the challenge in fact of using the word fiancé at least 10 times in this post, until it either starts to feel normal or loses all meaning, as words do when you say them over and over.

Try it – fiancé, fiancé, fiancé.

See. It doesn’t even sound like a word now does it?

From now on though I am going to call him my fiancé every time I mention him in a post and you have to not laugh.




  1. 20 May, 2015 / 10:46 am

    Just wait until you have to refer to him as your HUSBAND for the first time!!

  2. Lucy
    20 May, 2015 / 11:20 am

    I quite like fiancé although I can’t say it without it sounding camp or like something from a Carry On film. Next month I shall start saying “husband” and giggling every time.

  3. 20 May, 2015 / 11:39 am

    ha. I’m with you. It sounds such a silly word. I don’t think I ever used it.


  4. 20 May, 2015 / 11:53 am

    I think there is a short window of time when you can get away with the fiancé thing but even then only with your tongue firmly in your cheek. It will never not sound weird. It’s a bit.. I dunno.. CRINGE!

  5. 20 May, 2015 / 12:26 pm

    Haha! It is such a strange word. I have been engaged for over six years (yeah, don’t ask! ;-) ) and still can’t call Dave that! Well done for using it! ;-) x

  6. 20 May, 2015 / 1:18 pm

    The best thing about the word fiancé is that it has, by definition, a built-in shelf life. So just when you get used to it (ish), you can ditch it with a sigh of relief and use ‘husband’. But if you start saying ‘hubby’ I shall judge you a little, sorry.

    Also: CONGRATULATIONS! It’s a very impressive sparkler, too.

  7. Claire
    20 May, 2015 / 1:22 pm

    My now-husband and I were engaged for five years and I never quite got the hang of the word fiancé! I continued to call him my boyfriend, or sometimes my boyfriend-who-I’m-marrying-next-year (ridiculous) until the fiancé thing no longer applied. He referred to me as his “partner” when we were engaged but I didn’t really like that either, it sounded like we were running a business together!
    Congratulations though! You could always refer to him as your “intended” or “betroth-ED” (with emphasis on the last syllable of course) for extra pretentious points :-)

  8. 20 May, 2015 / 2:03 pm

    I used to call my fella my fiancé at first but we’ve been engaged 7 years!! lol The novelty soon wore off….He’s just my fella now.

  9. 20 May, 2015 / 4:41 pm

    You’ve reminded me of attending my cousin’s wedding shower where one girl managed to drop the word fiance in every sentence and the fact that her fiance was the best man in every other. I still wish I had kept track of just how many times she said “My fiance, the Best Man”,

  10. 20 May, 2015 / 8:05 pm

    Fiance is a weird word, also it always reminds me of the kids in school who got ‘engaged’ and then referred to each other as that. I don’t think I ever said it because of that. But I promise not to laugh if you do…x

  11. Vicki
    20 May, 2015 / 8:05 pm

    Congratulations by the way!
    I am the same though! I can’t say fiancé with a straight Face. I still call mine boyfriend or partner.

  12. 21 May, 2015 / 11:06 am

    Ha ha. I still struggle with the word husband sometimes nearly 8 years after waltzing down the aisle it just makes me feel too old. Too sensible. And don’t get me started on the word hubby – should be banned.

  13. 22 May, 2015 / 9:08 pm

    i could never say the F word either. Although I rather regret it now. We were engaged for just over a year so I only had a short period to use it and (fingers crossed) I will never have that opportunity again. Therefore I agree – use it as much as you can! :-) congratulations by the way!

  14. 23 May, 2015 / 12:07 pm

    Fiance never really rolled off my tongue very well but husband felt very nice indeed. Enjoy every single moment sweetie xx

  15. 25 May, 2015 / 9:08 pm

    My now wife started off with boyfriend, then fiance, then husband, now either daddy (to friends and family alike!) or JacobZacharyIan – as we three boys are always in trouble.

  16. Jane
    27 May, 2015 / 5:11 pm

    Wow, the gene pool down there must be MICROSCOPIC. Getting old, better marry anything that’s technically female eh?

  17. 27 May, 2015 / 6:29 pm

    Haha! Loved this, I remember calling Jack my fiancé for the first time and it sounded so weird…even weirder, but lovelier when you can call him Husband…I don’t think I’ll ever get bored of that! Congratulations again…Now on for the exciting part- wedding planning! Eek! x

  18. 27 May, 2015 / 11:45 pm

    I have to admit, I found the words pretty cringey when we were engaged. I still find it strange using husband too!

  19. 29 May, 2015 / 8:05 am

    Deal – I won’t laugh :) Very exciting though and big congrats – so happy for you both

    Laura x

  20. Sara
    20 May, 2016 / 11:56 am

    Ha-ha so true!! So congrats dear, happy for you.
    Call him fiance, I won’t laugh.

    mother daughter necklaces

  21. Katarína
    26 November, 2019 / 11:50 pm


    I just got the same ring as you have I wonder do you know something about the ring. Is it from an antique shop ? Thanks

    • Jo Middleton
      30 November, 2019 / 10:28 am

      I don’t know anything about where it came from I’m afraid! It’s very pretty though :-)

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