Today I want to talk dating apps, specifically dating apps for single parents.
‘Ooh,’ I hear you ask, ‘which are the best dating apps for single parents?’
None of them is the answer, because there aren’t any. I mean sure, single parents can use whatever dating apps they like if they can stomach the Tinder Bingo, but there’s always the baggage angle isn’t there? Nothing’s going to get you in a romantic frame of mind quite like reading ‘no baggage, no drama’ on a man’s profile and knowing he means ‘no kids, no emotional needs of any kind thank you very much’.
I find it surprising sometimes that of all the men I’ve had serious relationships with, the ones where we’ve lived together, none of them have been parents already.
(Okay, caveat here – I just remembered that Belle’s dad actually did have a daughter already, he just wasn’t in touch with her, which really should have been a huge red flag in itself, especially as he blamed number 7 on my red flag list. He also lied about his age when we met and said he was 26 when actually he was 27, which is quite frankly just WEIRD. I was only 21 when I met him though, so let’s cut me some slack.)
Being a single mum and being in relationships with people without children has always been difficult. I’ve never really felt like they got it, like they understood that my priorities were always going to be slightly different to theirs. I’ve never truly felt either like my partner has taken on my children as if they were his own. In one relationship for example, where we lived together in the same house, ostensibly as a family, my partner would only contribute a third of all household bills, claiming that I should have to contribute the kids’ share on my own.
(I pick them don’t I?)
In this particular relationship the fact that I was a parent, and that we were therefore at very different stages in our lives generally, was what eventually led to our separation. I remember one Friday evening, feeling exhausted after a busy week, bemoaning the fact that I would have to get up early in the morning and hoping secretly that he might offer to get up instead.
‘Well they’re your kids,’ he said, matter-of-factly.
I fell silent. View Post