Last night I ate three chocolate brownies.

Okay, even that’s a lie. I think I actually ate four, but somehow three sounds just a little less disgusting. They were about two inches square, so that’s quite a lot of brownie. Belle made them for me because I was hormonal and tired and they were delicious and chocolatey. I enjoyed eating them, but I also didn’t, because at the same time I was thinking about my thighs, and that took the edge off the fun of it a little bit.

To be honest, it scares me a little bit – my complete lack of self-control when it comes to food. I worry a lot about my complete inability to discipline myself, and what this is going to mean for me and my body over the coming years. That sounds very dramatic I know, but it definitely feels like an addiction. I have never taken drugs, and never been a smoker, because I just know that I wouldn’t be able to give up – I have no will power.

chocolate brownies self control over eating

I tested myself this morning. I had a bag of brazil nuts on my desk, and was eating them without really even thinking about it. I realised that that was probably a bad idea as it said there were 692 calories per 100g and it was a 200g bag, so I took our four and lined them up on my desk. I told myself that I would leave them there, and see how long I could make them last, that I would only eat them when I really wanted one.

Within two minutes I had eaten all four.

That’s not really okay is it?

(At this point I thought about taking four more brazil nuts out of the bag, lining them up on my desk, and taking a picture. I couldn’t take the risk though – no way would those brazil nuts go back in the bag – so instead I had to find a calorie-free stock image.)

brazil nuts self control over eating

I blame mindfulness. I’m so damn busy living in the moment that I find it hard to picture the future or make decisions based on long term consequences. All I can think about is how the brownie will feel in my mouth for those few seconds. And then afterwards of course I feel wracked with guilt and spend the half hour in bed before falling asleep fantasising about liposuction. 

I’ve even gone as far as to say that if I had one wish, I would wish that I could eat and drink whatever I wanted, without it ever having any negative consequences on my health or body. World peace? Pah! An end to child poverty? Nope. Calorie free brownies for me please.

Does anyone else feel like this about food? Does anyone else scare themselves with their complete lack of self-control?

Images – Igors Rusakovs and P-fotography from shutterstock

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If you don’t have time to read this whole post, please watch the video of Belle making tomato soup right at the end as it’s very sweet!

As you may have read last week, we’re currently taking part in a 21 day healthy eating challenge, supported by The Co-op. Last week we kicked off by looking at a typical day in the life of Belle, and I was slightly ashamed by the prominence of chocolate chip brioche on the menu.

Still, looking on the bright side, it gave us a nice low starting point, so surely it would be easy to make a positive difference?

Well yes actually.

As we’re just about 7 days in at the time of writing, I thought it might be nice to pick out one easy change for each day. The idea with any change is that you don’t need to do something massive to make a difference, and in fact change is often more sustainable if you start small. All of these 7 changes are things that you could do yourself, this week, now even. So what are you waiting for? View Post

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A while ago you may remember I asked you how often you had had sex in the last month after reading a report that showed the average to be far fewer than I had thought. It’s kind of comforting, being able to see how everyone else is (quite literally) making out and realising you’re doing alright really.

Today then, in the definitely very healthy spirit of seeking personal validation by comparing myself to others, I took a test to see how my lifestyle matched up to other women.

You can take it here if you fancy it.

The test highlighted a few issues for me, issues I’m very aware of but basically too lazy to do anything about.

Firstly, I do very little exercise. I’ve been to a few netball sessions in Taunton since I moved but have found it hard to stick with. Work and other things have got in the way and I don’t feel the same sense of camaraderie as I did with my team back in Bristol. I know that takes time though, so this is definitely something I need to make more of a commitment to.

I do try to make the effort to walk more than I might normally feel inclined to do, but I need to get sweaty. View Post

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When you hear the word ‘diet’, how do you feel?

Dieting makes me think ultimately of sacrifice. I am a typical Taurus in that I like the comforts of home – open fires, comfy sofas, tasty food and cuddles – and to embark on a diet to me can feel like having to give up a hugely important part of my well-being. It’s silly really as I know it doesn’t have to be like that and that in fact, eating well rather than just eating anything within reach, has got to make you feel better long term.

Still, it’s hard to give up something you love, even if you know it’s good for you long term. I’m a very short term person and wanting to put a biscuit in my mouth right now usually wins out.

Dieting doesn’t have to be all about tasteless, high fibre crackers though; if you do it carefully you can eat delicious treats without the guilt. That was my Weight Watchers challenge this week – to surprise myself at how flexible and tasty a diet can be. If you want to join the challenge this week you could win a Crock-Pot brushed steel slow cooker. Read on to find out how. View Post

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Did you enter my recent competition to win £50 of vouchers to spend at The Co-operative, not to mention a fun food planner?

Good. I should hope so too.

This is just to let you know that I have now put all of the entries into my magic hi-tech competition hat, and the winner, chosen at random is…

*Annoyingly long X-Factor style pause*

…

(See, annoying isn’t it?)

…

Natalie Holland!

Well done Natalie – an email is on it’s way to you as we speak!

If you weren’t lucky this time, fear not, I have a competition to win £70 to spend on shoes here!

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Like it or not, it’s the time of the year for making well-meaning resolutions. Obviously this year I will be losing weight, getting fit, reading 200 books, donating half my disposable income to charity, that sort of thing.

OK, maybe not, but it’s nice to have a few good intentions, especially after spending most of December eating mince pies and Elizabeth Shaw mints for breakfast. That’s why when I was offered to review Skinny Sprinkles again, and stepped with trepidation onto the scales for the first time in about three months, I thought I’d better say yes. View Post

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As much as I love Christmas, once the day itself is over I usually have a massive urge to pack everything away and start jogging. Obviously I don’t start jogging, but the thought is there.

I spend so long getting excited in the run up to Christmas that all my festivity is used up by Boxing Day, and I just want to get back to work. It’s a bloody good job really, as a lot of my work hours during December were spent buying presents and meeting friends for mince pies.

Such is my excessive love of all things Christmas, that it will be some weeks before we can plough our way through the piles of chocolates, biscuits and stilton, so while I’m still knee-deep in peppermint creams, waiting for netball to start up again, the only alternative is to get some exercise. Here then are three ideas for gentle sports to help you get rid of some of that stollen that has settled so unflatteringly on your hips:

Go for a walk
So simple, yet so effective. Walking not only keeps you fit, it’s also a great way to clear your mind, relax and get motivated. We’re not talking a stroll around the Debenhams sale mind – you need to put a bit of effort in. Layer up in all your wooly Christmas gifts and get yourself out on a hill somewhere for a bracing hike. Crank things up a notch by getting yourself a pedometer in the sales and challenging yourself to reach 10,000 steps every day.

Have a swim
In loads of places across the UK, people celebrate Christmas with a spot of sea swimming. This, in my opinion, is madness. It’s cold in the sea in December don’t you know? Instead, I’d recommend a nice warm indoor pool, where you can have a cup of tea afterwards. And maybe a mince pie. Swimming is brilliant all around exercise, working loads of different muscle groups at the same time as supporting your body weight.

Ride a horse
A little more decadent this one, but haven’t you always fancied yourself on horseback, galloping daringly across the countryside, thick dark hair billowing behind you? No? Just me then. If you’re not a natural horseman (me again there) then think of it not just as good exercise, but also as an opportunity to tick off that ‘try something new’ resolution. Plus it’s a great excuse to pick up a pair of sexy leather boots from equestrian clearance. I’m sure I’m going to look great on my horse. Who doesn’t want to see a chubby woman bouncing around in Jodhpurs?

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For the last few weeks I have been attempting to change my attitude towards food, and given that I just lay on the kitchen floor and ate a Hobnob Medley bar without really thinking about it, now would seem like a good time to try and focus my thinking.

It started a few weeks ago with a call to Paul Levrant, a resident expert at Greatvine, who uses behavioural and hypnotherapeutic methods to help people lose weight for good. Greatvine had arranged for me to speak to Paul to test out their one-to-one phone advice service.

I was a bit nervous before the call, as I’m not really a phone person. I find it quite hard sometimes to know what to talk about, and was worried that once I’d got past ‘but I just can’t not put another biscuit in my mouth’ that I would run out of things to say. Fortunately Paul was very chatty and easy to talk to, and the time whizzed by without too many awkward pauses at my end.

I’d be the first to admit that I have what I suspect is an unhealthy relationship with food. I think about eating a lot. Really quite a lot. And if I’m not thinking about it, it’s probably because I’m distracted eating a Jaffa Cake. I try not to think about it, I try to eat less, but it’s a compulsion. I’ve tried to be objective, to think carefully about how food tastes and feels in my mouth as I eat it, to work out exactly what makes it so addictive, but nothing has helped.

Paul’s approach is slightly different to your typical ‘diet’. In fact, one of the first things he tells me is that I need to ‘surround myself with snacks’.

This is my kind of dieting.

I describe to Paul the picture I am imagining – me leaning back in a big leather swivel chair, smiling to myself, with towers of biscuits piled up around me, like a pirate admiring his mountains of gold. Apparently that is not quite the sort of snack Paul had in mind.

The theory though is something I can relate to. Paul explains that basically we are primitive beings, and that our first instinct is a survival one. Our body doesn’t know that we have a fridge full of pate, it only knows that when you diet, it panics, imagining you as a hunter, unsure of where the next handful of berries or mouthful of boar will come from. Basically, when you don’t eat regularly – around every two-three hours – your bodies worries.

Bless it.

I asked if this would explain my anxiety around buffets, and the urge I feel to eat everything within sight all the time and apparently yes, it does. Turns out I’m not greedy, I just have strong survival instincts.

By surrounding yourself with snacks, you are reassuring your body that you care about it, that you are providing for it, and that it needn’t worry on the boar and berry front, as snacks will always come. If you do this all the time, the idea is that your body relaxes, safe in the knowledge that food will always be around, and subsequently the urge to overeat reduces.

This really resonated with me, and I have made a concerted effort since the call to eat more often. It sounds like a perverse way to lose weight, but it makes sense to me, and I definitely feel like I’m thinking less about food, knowing there is a snack just around the corner.

Paul was full of loads of other great tips and analogies, but if I told you them all I’d be doing him out of a job wouldn’t I?

For more information about Paul, visit his page on the Greatvine website.

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Looking to shift a bit of weight? Have a read of my Skinny Sprinkles review to see if this product could help you…

I’m one of those people who love eating. I love the taste of food, I love how it feels in my mouth and I love how it makes me feel. To me, eating isn’t just a survival thing, it’s a total pleasure. I often think that if I could have one wish, I’d choose to be able to eat and drink whatever I wanted and it never have any adverse effect on my weight or health. Sod world peace.

Which is all well and good, except eating does make you fat. There’s no escaping that, and eating at my normal rate, which is me being fairly restrained, seems to equate to putting on about half a stone every year. Half a stone may not seem like much, but add that up and it means that by the time I’m 50 I’ll have put on eight stone. Not pretty.

Now generally I don’t buy into the whole dieting culture, and I certainly don’t think women need to be thin to be sexy or desirable or feel good about themselves, but I also don’t particular want to be a heffalump when I retire, so when I was asked if I’d like to review Skinny Sprinkles, I thought I might as well give it a go, and see if I could shed some of 2011’s excess.

I was slightly worried at first that I’d signed up for one of those diet regimes where you eat nothing but shakes, but thankfully Skinny Sprinkles are snack replacements, rather than meal replacements, designed purely to control your appetite between meals and your portion sizes, rather than turning you into a starving, caffeinated lunatic.

When they arrived, I got rather excited by the idea of having three ‘smoothies’ a day as a treat, and after I’d made up the first one, (paying careful attention to the instructions, and not simply opening the sachet and sprinkling the powder into my mouth*), I began sipping my tasty snack. This was a big mistake. These ‘smoothies’ are not delicious. They taste a bit like soluble paracetamol with strawberry pips in. I would recommend stirring them really fast until everything is floating nicely, and then gulping it down in one. [Update – Skinny Sprinkles have improved their recipe since I wrote this – check out my later Skinny Sprinkles review for more info.]

Still, they are a diet aid, not a Mars Bar, and actually the fact that they were a tad gruesome worked in their favour. If I did find myself wanting something else to eat, I just remembered the smoothie, and asked myself ‘do I really want to have drunk that for nothing?’

I’m being a bit melodramatic, and they did grow on me after a while to be honest – I just needed to get into the right frame of mind, and not expect them to be an actual replacement, enjoyment wise, for three chocolate Hobnobs.

How do they work then? Well, here’s the science…

“Glucomannan is scientifically proven by the EFSA to aid weight reduction as part of a calorie controlled diet and is a water-soluble dietary fibre from the root of the Konjac plant. By delaying the absorption of glucose by the stomach, it slows down the digestive process and absorbs up to 200 times its weight in water – swelling when it mixes with water in your stomach – making you feel fuller.”

They also contain caffeine in the form of guarana and green tea for an extra pick me up, although I did check, and a whole day’s worth of sachets contains less caffeine than one fresh coffee, so you’re not going to be bouncing off the ceiling or anything.

And you know what? They actually worked. Whether it was the sachets themselves, the boost it gave to my willpower, or a combination of the two, I don’t know, but at the end of a week I had lost four whole pounds!

The downside I’d say is the cost. At £29.95 for a week’s supply, this certainly isn’t a cheap long-term solution, but I reckon for just a couple of weeks a year, if it means that for the other 50 I can eat my usual amount of cake for breakfast, then it’s not a bad investment at all.

Have you tried Skinny Sprinkles? Why not leave your own Skinny Sprinkles review in the comments and let me know what you think!

*This was an actual warning. Who would do that??

PS I am currently on the short list for the ‘Style’ award in the Brilliance in Blogging Awards. Please take half a minute to cast your vote and tick the Slummy single mummy box.

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