On Sunday night I had a date. My first date in nearly four years. You’d think then that I would have been nervous, but when it came to it, I really wasn’t.

I’m not going to say anything bad about my date – he wasn’t a hairy mole twiddler or anything, just a perfectly nice, ordinary man. What I wanted to talk about instead was how waiting at the pub at 8pm on Sunday, I realised how much I have changed in the last few years, since the last time I tried my hand at dating.

People are always saying that confidence in just an act, that if you are nervous about talking to new people, all you have to do is pretend not to be, and no one will ever know the difference. Well, it seems that over the last few years I’ve had a lot of practice at chatting to strangers – networking at blogging conferences, hosting workshops, delivering training, allowing my brains to be picked numerous times over coffee and cake – and it has paid off. Turns out I am pretty awesome at it.*

Coffee

Now I’m not saying I was a dream date, but I wasn’t scared at all and like to think I contributed to us both enjoying a very pleasant evening, regardless of whether or not there was any romantic spark. I asked questions, maintained eye contact and tried not to be too boastful (apart from during the ten minutes after my one and only glass of wine when it went to my head a little and I somehow dropped my degree prize into the conversation.**)

The date then, although not tummy churning, was a hugely positive experience and left me feeling good about myself not least because I felt we had been able to put each other at ease and enjoy an evening that wasn’t as awkward as a first date can often be. My confidence was further boosted in the morning when at 8am he sent me a text.

“You are quite an inspirational person,” he said. “Your drive and fearlessness of the unknown and willingness to take a chance is pretty amazing.”

I had the biggest smile on my face. Where I might see the choices I have made in my life as a little foolish and flighty, pretend hard enough and people will believe anything.

*And oh so modest.

**You see? Modest.

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I have done a brave and possibly over-ambitious thing.

I have added ‘buy a house’ to my list of 40 things to do before I’m 40.

Now I should say here, before you worry I am going to rush out and buy something stupid, Homes Under The Hammer style, that I have three years and 10 months to go before I’m 40, but still; as we speak I have just about zero pounds in savings and no wealthy yet elderly relatives, so I’m going to need a Sensible Plan.

To be honest I had half resigned myself to never being able to afford a house, but surely one of the upsides to living in Taunton has to be the fact that I’m saving money on rent? Add to this the fact that I’m working more than ever – a dual consequence of no longer having Boyfriend to moderate my ‘just say yes’ reflex and also wanting to fill my time with things other than moping – and really there is no reason why owning a house shouldn’t be at least plausible.

It’s not going to be easy though. In fact, it could well be that by the time I have saved up, my savings won’t be enough any more. As the  infographic from Totally Money at the bottom of this post shows, house prices have risen over the years at a pace that’s almost impossible to keep up with.

I do have some ideas, but I’m not sure how effective they are going to be:

  • Stop going to cafes just because I am bored at home and want to work in Starbucks. (Never going to happen.)
  • Stop getting take away just because I can’t be bothered to cook up some crap from the freezer. (See brackets above.)
  • Cancel my cleaner. (Come on now – do you want me to live in filth?)
  • Hire out Belle for babysitting/chimney sweeping etc. (Note to self – is this legal?)
  • Rent out Bee’s rooms to students during term time. (Possible – but potentially embarrassing when I am roaming the house naked in the middle of the night looking for snacks.)

You see? It’s hard. Perhaps I will just have a little muffin and cappuccino while I think about it some more.

Do you have any house buying or saving tips? View Post

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It’s a good question.

Should kids have their criminal records wiped clean at 18 if the crimes were non-violent?

Hmm, tricky.

What exactly does Mr Tumble keep in his spotty bag?

I dread to think.

It’s questions like these that we are asking every week in my Beamly TV chat room.

Beamly Slummy single mummy room

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I have an ISA. I got it a couple of years ago and it made me feel like a proper grown-up lady. I use it to save up money for my tax bill, but as I am not very good at minimising my tax liability, I normally end up hitting my ISA limit before I had saved up enough. This made me feel less grown-up and more like I probably should be managing my finances better, keeping track of expenses and not just putting random receipts into a small box in the shape of a treasure chest.

I won’t be hitting the limits this year though! (Although the treasure chest receipt box is still a thing.)

New ISA

Good news for me in the last budget was that from July 1st 2014 (that’s Tuesday if you can believe it, Christmas decorations at the ready…) the cash ISA limit will no longer be £5,940. Instead the limits on cash ISAs and stocks and shares ISAs are going to be combined, meaning you can invest up to £15,000 per year in total, split however you like between the two.

Even better is that existing ISAs will automatically be converted, great news for me as I haven’t even done things like tell my gas company that I have moved yet. Converting an ISA is just never going to happen.

(Before anyone starts tutting me I have done opening and closing meter readings, just not actually done anything with them yet.)

The changes bring lots of benefits and should mean the whole thing is much simpler. I found it tricky enough remembering the limit of £5,940 – £15,000 is a much nicer number. If however you’re still not entirely clear on what the changes might mean for your savings then Scottish Friendly have put together this short video that sets everything out very clearly.

If you want to find out more about Scottish Friendly you can follow them on Twitter, Facebook and Google+.

Sponsored post

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I watched I Want To Marry Harry this week. Have you seen it?

It was kind of intriguing. Basically this gaggle of American beauties are locked up in a house, Big Brother style, with a man who may or may not be Prince Harry. (He isn’t. That’s not a spoiler – the girls are the only ones who don’t know.) He hasn’t explicitly said he is Prince Harry, but the idea is that he avoids direct questions at the same time as trying to make them believe he is. He looks pretty like him, although I feel they should have dyed his eyebrows as well as his hair.

The show had an extra dimension for me, as I have just reread The Queen and I, so I was half imagining the Queen living on a council estate and Harry as a boy being rolled around in an old car tyre.

Of course all the girls are beside themselves at the thought of potentially dating a Prince; the Royals are big business since Kate and George reintroduced an element of style to proceedings. In fact I was actually on the radio recently with the author of What Kate Wore, discussing whether or not it is OK to spend £75 on a pair of dungarees for a baby. (I said no.) View Post

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Belle and I love to eat out. It’s not that I am lazy, dislike cooking and like any excuse for an outing… oh, hang on a minute, that’s exactly what it is. Sorry.

Still, I can make believe it’s about new experiences, the social aspect of eating and all that jazz. Last week then, we took a trip out to Aspects Park on the outskirts of Bristol to try out the new menu at The Wishing Well. We had never been before, so were interested to see what they had to offer.

We were given a very friendly welcome, seated at a nice table by the window and settled down to inspect the menu.

The Wishing Well isn’t pretending to be anything fancy pants, so we weren’t looking for Michelin star food, we were looking for choice, good service and value for money – simple pub food at it’s best. We weren’t disappointed on the value front as they have loads of offers on during the week and a good range of ‘buy one get one free’ options on main courses too. We thought the idea of ‘toddler tapas’ was very cute and at only £1.50 for three small items would be perfect for tiny tummies. View Post

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Today I have a guest post. It’s from a male friend of mine who prefers to remain anonymous but I was really thrilled when he offered to write it for me, partly because I love his writing but also because I thought it would be interesting to get a man’s perspective of dating. I may not be throwing myself back on the market any soon but it’s still all useful research.

He did suggest that I might like to split it into two posts but honestly it’s so easy to read that I thought you would prefer it all in one go. Enjoy!

Dating for men

After planning our ‘big day’ investing time, care and – yes – money into an endeavour that now seems faintly ludicrous; I found myself spat out of the other end of the relationship sausage machine; shrink wrapped with a ‘Divorced…’ red sticker slapped across my cellophane. View Post

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When you hear the word ‘diet’, how do you feel?

Dieting makes me think ultimately of sacrifice. I am a typical Taurus in that I like the comforts of home – open fires, comfy sofas, tasty food and cuddles – and to embark on a diet to me can feel like having to give up a hugely important part of my well-being. It’s silly really as I know it doesn’t have to be like that and that in fact, eating well rather than just eating anything within reach, has got to make you feel better long term.

Still, it’s hard to give up something you love, even if you know it’s good for you long term. I’m a very short term person and wanting to put a biscuit in my mouth right now usually wins out.

Dieting doesn’t have to be all about tasteless, high fibre crackers though; if you do it carefully you can eat delicious treats without the guilt. That was my Weight Watchers challenge this week – to surprise myself at how flexible and tasty a diet can be. If you want to join the challenge this week you could win a Crock-Pot brushed steel slow cooker. Read on to find out how. View Post

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“Would you be interested in having a team of professional cleaners from Fantastic Services come and spring clean your house in return for a review of the service?”

Um, let me think about that for a NANO SECOND.

“Yes please.”

As you know, Boyfriend recently moved out, and this left me with two very good reasons for needing a spring clean. Firstly it has meant that I am having to move house – North Bristol is pretty pricey for single mums who play on the internet for a living – plus I need to be closer to friends and family so they can help with Belle when I decide I want to go to London for the day to play on the internet there instead. Secondly, Boyfriend did all the cleaning that involved getting your hands wet, as I don’t like that.

Understandably then, standards in water related areas have slipped a little over the last few weeks. (I will add, in my defence, that I was also letting them slip, knowing the cleaners were coming, so try not to be too disgusted.)

Fantastic cleaners View Post

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Ah, the joys of single life. It’s all about going out and getting drunk and forgetting your problems right?

Um, wrong.

Not when you’re a single parent anyway, because who, now you’re single, is going to babysit for you? My new single life has so far mainly involved working at home during the day and hanging out with Belle at home in the evenings. Now this is fine, but when the ‘home’ is somewhere that you’ve only ever lived with your partner, it’s trickier.

Everywhere I look, literally everywhere, is a reminder of Boyfriend. It’s kind of annoying.

‘Ah, here we are in the kitchen, where he used to stand in that corner leaning against the counter and I would hug him!’ Or ‘The sofa! We used to sit there together to watch Wheeler Dealers and eat sweets!’ Or even ‘Look! The rack where he used to keep his shoes!’

It gets a bit pathetic sounding after a while. (By a while I mean about three seconds. Not that I say these things out loud, but still.)

In situations like this some sort of positive action is definitely required and so I was very happy to accept Tesco’s offer of some goodies from their new Couture range to give my bedroom a little bit of a makeover. At least then when I get into bed I will not be able to make any sort of feeble emotional connection with my duvet cover.

Tesco couture range View Post

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I’ve stayed in a lot of hotels over the past couple of years. Initially it’s exciting, spending the night somewhere different, snaffling the free toiletries and watching TV in bed, but after a while it can become a bit boring – there are really only so many white bedrooms and smiley yet blank receptionists that you want in your life.

Our stay at the Bella Vista in Weston-Super-Mare then was the perfect antidote, just what we needed to balance out all the sterile chain hotels we’ve endured. We were checking them out on behalf of Approved Family Friendly, and so had our best hotel inspector hats on, but really found it difficult to fault them.

We were welcomed by owners Bev and Tim, who took on the Bella Vista two years ago, and it became immediately obvious that the couple have a genuine love of children and a desire to give families a wonderful holiday experience. The Bella Vista is a classic seaside town hotel, but with a personal touch and friendly welcome that you just don’t find in many places.

Bella Vista hotel Weston-Super-Mare Bev and Tim acknowledge that the accommodation is a little dated in parts, but the Bella Vista is a work in progress, with the eight bedrooms in the process of being brought up to date. We stayed in a comfortable family room with one double bed and one single, and had the chance to check out some of the other rooms too. The rooms that have been redecorated have been very tastefully done and there is plenty of space for families, with some rooms sleeping up to five people.

Bella Vista hotel Weston-Super-Mare

What’s lovely about the Bella Vista is that families really do come first – if you can think of anything at all that you need, Bev and Tim will do everything they can to provide it. Belle had an absolutely lovely time and when we left was already talking about wanting to go back again, and thinking about the home made presents she could take with her to add to the seaside themed décor.

If you’re looking for a comfortable, affordable family friendly hotel then the Bella Vista really should be top of your list.

Bella Vista hotel Weston-Super-Mare

Disclosure: We spent a night at the Bella Vista for the purposes of this review and to carry out our inspection.

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My very first smartphone was a Blackberry Curve. One of these cute little things, remember them?

I’ve never been very on top of the latest phone technology, so until I got this one, I think in 2009/10, I just had a phone that sent text messages and made calls – very retro. Being able to reply to emails FROM MY PHONE was a massive thing and the start of a flourishing if not slightly unhealthy obsession with being able to respond Very Quickly Indeed to everything. Just in case. View Post

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