WARNING: Slightly gruesome dating story…

OK, it’s not that bad really, not blood and guts gruesome, but everyone I’ve told in real life has been consistently repulsed, so I thought I would share – lucky you!

I recently went on a date, a blind date in fact, with a man I met through a dating site before I got too scared and hid my profile, and who I had kept in touch with via email.

It was a fairly regular, suitably awkward first date in most ways. I arrived early and settled myself on a sofa with the paper so I could be calm and collected when he arrived, and not do my usual trick of turning up ten minutes late, fighting the urge to run away and hide under a duvet. I was served by a rather dishy waiter, who maintained eye contact for slightly longer than was strictly necessary, and who rather threw me off my stride as a result – I couldn’t help but keep glimpsing him throughout the lunch and thinking ‘Hmm… I’d rather be on a date with you…’

My date didn’t do himself any favours by bigging up how amazingly witty and amusing he was before we had even met – I think it’s generally a mistake to raise people’s expectations. Sure, he wasn’t totally dull, but he was no David Mitchell. Personally I go with the ‘God no, me? I’m really boring, nothing to say…’. That way people can only be pleasantly surprised.

He talked a lot about himself, fuelled by me asking a range of interesting and thoughtful questions, but didn’t ask me much in return, (not that you’re getting a one-sided account of this at all…) – to be fair I think we were both equally bored with each other after an hour and a half.

There was one thing though that distracted me throughout the entire lunch.

On his cheek he had a mole.

Nothing wrong with that.

Out of the mole were growing several hairs.

Still, that’s fine – a bit Nanny McPhee, but I’m not going to judge him on that.

But…

While he talked, he constantly twiddled the hair on his mole. With a finger and thumb. Almost thoughtfully.

Not OK.

This man had an almost beard. If he’d wanted to twiddle some kind of facial hair he had plenty of options. Whether he thought mole-hair-twiddling was something the ladies dig, or whether he was even aware of it I don’t know, but suffice to say it was a bit of a deal breaker for me.

Is that me being fussy? I know people have bad habits, I have plenty of them myself, but I do try and keep them hidden as much as possible on the first day at least…

30 Comments

  1. 19 August, 2010 / 1:14 pm

    Look at it this way, Jo: He talked about himself for an hour and a half and twiddled his mole-hairs all through lunch; isn’t it a relief that you don’t have to go on several dates with this man before you find out what’s wrong with him?

    : )

  2. 19 August, 2010 / 2:01 pm

    I think you got off easily. I once when on a blind date off an internet dating site with a guy whose handle was Creepy. When I met him I realised why – he was Frankenstein’s first cousin. Oh and another time I dated a guy who was obviously disappointed to meet me. After we’d spent half the weekend together (don’t judge I was single!!) he kissed me on the top of my head and exclaimed sadly ‘so short!’ Then promptly got in his car and was never heard of again. Oh and then there was the guy who obviously was into me but couldn’t quite get himself, er, up…he gave me a good night hug! (WTF) and the one who said he’d really prefer that we never sleep together again and just remain good friends. Yeah, you got off easily babe. THough keep up with the internet dating it’s excellent blog fodder! Vx

  3. 19 August, 2010 / 3:48 pm

    oh dear now I feel really queasy
    no – mole hair twiddling is definitely not socially acceptable
    you should have slipped the waiter something
    I mean your number …be bold next time!!

  4. 19 August, 2010 / 6:56 pm

    Oh, I’m with Emma, I feel queasy. Was it like Austin Powers where you were obviously staring at it and wanted to shout ‘Mole-y Mole-y Mole-y’? *shudder*

  5. 19 August, 2010 / 7:11 pm

    I have to agree with everyone who shuddered, was queasy or otherwise unsettled by the ending. I think scribblingmub was right on the mark with the Austin Powers reference. In fact, I don’t really have anything clever to add, so I will just stop.

  6. 19 August, 2010 / 7:22 pm

    Ewww….. not good. Not good at all.

  7. 19 August, 2010 / 7:35 pm

    Oh that is not good, no no no! You don’t want that!

  8. 19 August, 2010 / 8:30 pm

    Pass the barf bag please? Really made me feel nautious.

  9. 19 August, 2010 / 8:52 pm

    Definitely with the others on the Austin Powers ref there… lucky escape me thinks! :)

  10. 19 August, 2010 / 9:55 pm

    Not fussy. So so so so SO NOT fussy. You somehow had the grace to not run screaming?? Not fussy. Was lunch tasty? Did you get the waiter’s number?

  11. Lauren
    19 August, 2010 / 10:08 pm

    We have to kiss many frogs to find a prince. And this was a warty toad, by the sounds of things. Thank goodness you didn’t actually kiss him though. Not being mole-ist, I’ve plenty of the buggers, but y’know – get rid of the hair, don’t embrace it. NEXT!

  12. 20 August, 2010 / 6:36 am

    Phew!

    Thanks everyone, I’m so glad I wasn’t being over grossed out by the whole thing!

  13. 21 August, 2010 / 7:05 am

    Do you think it was a stick on mole with hair to test whether you were really into the person beneath? Nah – lucky escape I think – he sounds very dull.

    • 23 August, 2010 / 10:16 am

      What kind of freak would wear a fake mole on the first date?? Weird. Either way a lucky escape I reckon…

  14. Lilla Bartoli
    13 September, 2011 / 3:04 pm

    LOL, I have to say the on the web dating or electronic dating has come a hell of a way since the days of simple chat rooms. More and far more people are turning to online dating internet sites to display prospective dates.

  15. 1 February, 2018 / 10:56 am

    Hilarious! And gross! I’d have got a pair of tweezers and offered to pluck them out!!!

  16. 20 March, 2018 / 9:22 pm

    Ha! So funny. Just came across this post from your email today and HAD to read! I wonder if he ever found a girlfriend…

    • Jo Middleton
      Author
      21 March, 2018 / 11:34 am

      Unfortunately… (!)… I don’t still have his contact details or I could ask for a follow up date :-D

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