A short rant about flamingos being the new salted caramel

A couple of years ago Belle and I told my mum that Bee’s favourite thing was flamingos. My mum loves to jump on a theme for birthdays and Christmas and we thought it would be funny if Bee ended up with a succession of flamingo themed gifts.

And we were right. It WAS funny.

Do you know what though flamingos? We’re done now. You’ve had your moment, we’ve had enough. It’s time for flamingos to get in the bin.

I’m sick of going into EVERY SHOP IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD and finding some kind of novelty flamingo merchandise. It seems that flamingos have become the new salted caramel and you know how I feel about that.

Yes you’re cool with you’re crazy pink feathers and your bendy backwards legs, but you’ve made your point. We get it. We don’t need all of our umbrellas from now on the have a flamingo head as a handle.

Yes you, you heard me.

flamingo gift ideas

Photo by Ray Hennessy on Unsplash

We definitely do not need:

  • Flamingo neon lights
  • Mugs with flamingo neck handles
  • Flamingo hats
  • Flamingo snow globes
  • Flamingo sunglasses
  • Inflatables in the shape of flamingos
  • T-shirts saying ‘stand tall darling’ next to a picture of a flamingo
  • Coat hooks that are flamingo heads
  • Flamingo watering cans
  • Flamingo salt and pepper shakers
  • ANY KIND of wall plaque that says ‘be a flamingo in a flock of pigeons’

Let’s move on shall we?

It’s easy. Just pick another bird at random and start putting pictures of it all over perfectly nice tea towels, that seems to be how it works. Something like the Dickcissel or the Andean Cock-of-the-Rock should provide plenty of scope for hilarity.

Just no more flamingos, please.

Flamingos, it’s time to flaminGO.

PS Obviously the same applies to unicorns. Jeez. Those guys aren’t even REAL, how have they managed to secure so much publicity??

 

9 Comments

  1. 18 July, 2018 / 11:16 am

    You know why flamingos stand in one leg ? Because if they lifted it up they would fall over ! And someone else who hates salted caramel , thought it was just me

  2. 18 July, 2018 / 3:18 pm

    Haha, this made me laugh because it’s so true. I’ve never really thought about it before, but you’re so right.. flamingoes are everywhere. Personally I vote for cats to replace them.. but that’s what I’d like instead.

    • Jo Middleton
      Author
      18 July, 2018 / 4:21 pm

      YES! I will back that campaign :-)

  3. Clare Eliot
    18 July, 2018 / 6:30 pm

    I could have written this myself. It has become a running joke in our house that Flamingos are stalking me, they’re literally EVERYWHERE! I swaer the real ones are plotting world domination & I’m going to be their slave, or should that be ‘Flave’?

    • Jo Middleton
      Author
      20 July, 2018 / 12:43 pm

      THE FLAMINGOS ARE WATCHING YOU…

  4. Debbie
    18 July, 2018 / 10:12 pm

    And what is the deal with pineapples eh????

    • Jo Middleton
      Author
      20 July, 2018 / 12:42 pm

      YES! Why have pineapples become a thing?? It would be weird if loads of gifts started having courgettes printed on them.

  5. Andi
    21 July, 2018 / 4:39 pm

    Andean cock of the rock is my favourite bird! so underated

  6. Isobel
    29 July, 2018 / 3:57 pm

    I bloody love flamingos so can’t get enough of all the flamingo tat, although my husband has drawn the line. But what’s with avocados being everywhere?

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.