A couple of years ago Belle and I told my mum that Bee’s favourite thing was flamingos. My mum loves to jump on a theme for birthdays and Christmas and we thought it would be funny if Bee ended up with a succession of flamingo themed gifts.
And we were right. It WAS funny.
Do you know what though flamingos? We’re done now. You’ve had your moment, we’ve had enough. It’s time for flamingos to get in the bin.
I’m sick of going into EVERY SHOP IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD and finding some kind of novelty flamingo merchandise. It seems that flamingos have become the new salted caramel and you know how I feel about that.
Yes you’re cool with you’re crazy pink feathers and your bendy backwards legs, but you’ve made your point. We get it. We don’t need all of our umbrellas from now on the have a flamingo head as a handle.
Yes you, you heard me.
We definitely do not need:
- Flamingo neon lights
- Mugs with flamingo neck handles
- Flamingo hats
- Flamingo snow globes
- Flamingo sunglasses
- Inflatables in the shape of flamingos
- T-shirts saying ‘stand tall darling’ next to a picture of a flamingo
- Coat hooks that are flamingo heads
- Flamingo watering cans
- Flamingo salt and pepper shakers
- ANY KIND of wall plaque that says ‘be a flamingo in a flock of pigeons’
Let’s move on shall we?
It’s easy. Just pick another bird at random and start putting pictures of it all over perfectly nice tea towels, that seems to be how it works. Something like the Dickcissel or the Andean Cock-of-the-Rock should provide plenty of scope for hilarity.
Just no more flamingos, please.
Flamingos, it’s time to flaminGO.
PS Obviously the same applies to unicorns. Jeez. Those guys aren’t even REAL, how have they managed to secure so much publicity??