I have never been very good at keeping my clothes tidy. As a teenager my bedroom was so obscenely messy that I once trod on my guitar and didn’t realise until a few days later.

Not any more.

No more puddles of clothes on the floor or stacks of washing needing a home. Oh no. Because I have THE WARDROBES OF DREAMS. (Otherwise known as my new built-in wardrobes from Sharps.)

I admit that I was nervous during the planning process. (Read about that bit here.) I’ve never had proper built in wardrobes before and I was worried that they might look a bit, I don’t know, tacky maybe? I’m not even sure that’s the right word, but hopefully you know what I mean. I think it was just that built in wardrobes felt like such a grown up thing to have – how could they be cool at the same time??

But OH MY GOODNESS they are SO cool. (Or my definition of cool at least.)

Here’s the space pre-fitting:

Sharps built in wardrobes review

You have to empty the room and take the carpets up before your fitter arrives. They don’t fit wardrobes on top of the carpet because they need a firm, sturdy surface. The space like this looks pretty small, but here it is with the wardrobes: View Post

I had a bit of an odd moment of parental pride in myself last week. Belle had been complaining about having problems with her reading – she says that it’s difficult to concentrate and sometimes the words look blurry or have lights in front of them – so I said that the next day I’d make her an appointment for an eye test as a first step. Off we went to bed. My memory is terrible, so I set a reminder on my phone. The next day when the reminder popped up I called them straight away.

When Belle got home from school it was the very first thing she asked.

‘When is my optician’s appointment?’ she asked as she took her shoes off by the front door.

‘I made it today!’ I said proudly, thinking how impressed she would be with me for remembering.

‘Well I knew you’d make it,’ she said, ‘I just wondered when it was.’

And THAT was the bit that made me proud. The fact that it had never occurred to her that I WOULDN’T do something I had said I would do, when I said I would do it. I felt reliable and solid and lovely.

Anyway, that little anecdote was my silky smooth way of leading you into a story about National Eye Health Week and the importance of getting regular eye tests. It’s something I’ve always been good at remembering for myself, as I wear glasses, and Belle has been having them since a young age as she really enjoys them for some reason. I remember how disappointed she was for the first few times she went, being told she DIDN’T need glasses.

If you’ve not had an eye test in the last couple of years though, then you MUST. (I have mine booked with Optical Express so watch this space for my next pair of colourful new glasses.) As well as it being important to take care of your eyes themselves, there are quite a few serious illnesses that often get first picked up in eye tests.

why do i need an eye test?

Take 12-year-old Alan Watson from Edinburgh as an example. (That’s not Alan in the photo.) When Alan attended his local Optical Express clinic with his mum for his annual check-up, Optical Express Optometrist Amna Bashir noticed blurred margins on comparison of previous photos.  As a precaution, Amna called the hospital and arranged for him to be seen that day. View Post

Last year I got an email from a couple of lovely ladies who run a company called Masked Pony Productions. They asked if I’d be interested in writing a short comedy sketch based on my blog for a new mum comedy short series.

‘Absolutely!’ I said, Googling how to write comedy sketches.

They wanted something that was in the style of my usual writing, perhaps inspired by some of my most popular posts. One of my personal favourites is the one where I get dressed up nicely for a smear test and the nurse can’t find my cervix, so I had to include reference to that.

Bee’s favourite ever post is the one where I go to a cafe and a random family come and sit down ALL AROUND ME while I’m just trying to have a coffee. That had to be in there too. (Have a read – they are both funny.)

I set to work.

‘This will be easy,’ I thought to myself. ‘I’m HILARIOUS.’

Turns out though that it’s actually pretty hard to write things that sound funny when they are said out loud by someone else. I mean sure, I can write stuff down and it sometimes makes people laugh when they read it, but writing a script is a whole different thing.

Still, I had a bash. The idea is that the mum is so desperate for a bit of time away from her kids that she has pretended she has to go to a smear test. (Hopefully you’ll get that – otherwise I have done a BAD job.)

This is the final result:

(Try to laugh remember.)

My best bit is the Granny saying ‘I’ve no idea’. It’s EXACTLY how the real life Granny said it to me in the coffee shop when they’d invaded my table, and that was always Bee’s favourite bit of the post I wrote about it.

So what do you reckon? Be honest – should this be the start of a new career or am I best sticking to looking pretty for smear tests?

When Bee was about five years old she asked if she could get her ears pierced. I said no, she was too young. She asked how old she would have to be.

‘Nine,’ I said.

Nine felt like so far in the future that it would never happen. Of course she remembered, and on her ninth birthday off we trotted to Claire’s Accessories.

A similar thing happened when Belle asked if we could get a cat.

‘When we own our own house,’ I said, never believing that THAT would be a thing. And then lo and behold, here we are. And here are the kittens.

I didn’t mean to get THREE.

We went along to our local rescue centre to look at a brother and sister and then this ginger and white stray was in the room with them, and he purred loudly and well, I couldn’t just LEAVE him could I? That would be mean.

Let me introduce them: View Post

Post in association with Metis®

Metis® fruit recipes

Imagine if you will that a plum and an apricot go on a date.

They get on well as they have a lot in common – they both like classic crime fiction, they love to travel, and they both have a stone in their middle, that sort of thing. One date leads to another. On the second date they crank it up a notch and do an activity – segway maybe. Or pottery painting.

Time passes, stuff happens, and they have a baby. They call it Metis®.

Metis® fruit recipes

Ahhh!

Oh how I wish that’s how it happened! View Post