I had a bit of an odd moment of parental pride in myself last week. Belle had been complaining about having problems with her reading – she says that it’s difficult to concentrate and sometimes the words look blurry or have lights in front of them – so I said that the next day I’d make her an appointment for an eye test as a first step. Off we went to bed. My memory is terrible, so I set a reminder on my phone. The next day when the reminder popped up I called them straight away.

When Belle got home from school it was the very first thing she asked.

‘When is my optician’s appointment?’ she asked as she took her shoes off by the front door.

‘I made it today!’ I said proudly, thinking how impressed she would be with me for remembering.

‘Well I knew you’d make it,’ she said, ‘I just wondered when it was.’

And THAT was the bit that made me proud. The fact that it had never occurred to her that I WOULDN’T do something I had said I would do, when I said I would do it. I felt reliable and solid and lovely.

Anyway, that little anecdote was my silky smooth way of leading you into a story about National Eye Health Week and the importance of getting regular eye tests. It’s something I’ve always been good at remembering for myself, as I wear glasses, and Belle has been having them since a young age as she really enjoys them for some reason. I remember how disappointed she was for the first few times she went, being told she DIDN’T need glasses.

If you’ve not had an eye test in the last couple of years though, then you MUST. (I have mine booked with Optical Express so watch this space for my next pair of colourful new glasses.) As well as it being important to take care of your eyes themselves, there are quite a few serious illnesses that often get first picked up in eye tests.

Take 12-year-old Alan Watson from Edinburgh as an example. (That’s not Alan in the photo.) When Alan attended his local Optical Express clinic with his mum for his annual check-up, Optical Express Optometrist Amna Bashir noticed blurred margins on comparison of previous photos.  As a precaution, Amna called the hospital and arranged for him to be seen that day. View Post

Last year I got an email from a couple of lovely ladies who run a company called Masked Pony Productions. They asked if I’d be interested in writing a short comedy sketch based on my blog for a new mum comedy short series.

‘Absolutely!’ I said, Googling how to write comedy sketches.

They wanted something that was in the style of my usual writing, perhaps inspired by some of my most popular posts. One of my personal favourites is the one where I get dressed up nicely for a smear test and the nurse can’t find my cervix, so I had to include reference to that.

Bee’s favourite ever post is the one where I go to a cafe and a random family come and sit down ALL AROUND ME while I’m just trying to have a coffee. That had to be in there too. (Have a read – they are both funny.)

I set to work.

‘This will be easy,’ I thought to myself. ‘I’m HILARIOUS.’

Turns out though that it’s actually pretty hard to write things that sound funny when they are said out loud by someone else. I mean sure, I can write stuff down and it sometimes makes people laugh when they read it, but writing a script is a whole different thing.

Still, I had a bash. The idea is that the mum is so desperate for a bit of time away from her kids that she has pretended she has to go to a smear test. (Hopefully you’ll get that – otherwise I have done a BAD job.)

This is the final result:

(Try to laugh remember.)

My best bit is the Granny saying ‘I’ve no idea’. It’s EXACTLY how the real life Granny said it to me in the coffee shop when they’d invaded my table, and that was always Bee’s favourite bit of the post I wrote about it.

So what do you reckon? Be honest – should this be the start of a new career or am I best sticking to looking pretty for smear tests?