Last night I tweeted about how I had just washed down a multivitamin with a gin and tonic. I was pretty proud of myself for achieving such balance in my life. Very zen.
Legend of the Lost replied saying that it counted as a lifestyle cocktail.
‘A lifestyle cocktail??,’ I said. ‘Did you just make that up? Please tell me it’s not a real thing. (If it is I’m doing a blog post about it.)’
‘Just made it up,’ he replied, ‘I own it! But you may borrow it. Because you’re my favourite.’
So I am. Right now.
Here are six lifestyle cocktails I came up with that are basically guilt-free because they are just so goddamn good for you.
Vodka and Berocca
This was a suggestion from Nathan Dennis and it seems totally legit to me. No messing about – right to the good stuff. The only trouble is coming up with a name for it. I was trying to think of something that merged the names, Brangelina style, but all I could think of was The Verruca. I’m not sure it will catch on, except in swimming pools.
I’m picturing it a bit like this, but with bits of crumbled Berocca on the rim of the glass?
Dairy free eggnog
Everyone knows that you get extra smug points for asking for a ‘soy milk anything’, so to achieve a wholesome dairy free life just switch the milk and cream in your festive eggnog for dairy free alternatives like soy milk or perhaps almond?
Also, there are ACTUAL EGGS in it. Which is protein. So basically like having an omelette.
Pink pepper collins
I’ve not even changed this one! I found it here and it has grapefruit juice in, which everyone knows is a diet food. You know how lifestyle magazines are always telling you to shun coffee in the morning and instead have a glass of hot water with lemon juice in? Well it’s sort of like that.
I imagine you lose weight just LOOKING at this one.*
Prosecco and chia seeds
I saw a recipe for lemonade with chia seeds, so I’m sure you could do it with prosecco. Sure, it will look like a frog has jizzed in your drink, but CHIA SEEDS remember?? These are basically the secret of immortality aren’t they? That’s definitely what the internet told me.
There’s a bit of soaking involved I think, and they will probably stick in your teeth, so not recommended for a first date.
Decaff espresso martini
Seriously, you know you’re looking after yourself when you switch to decaff don’t you? I’m not sure if they do a decaff Kahlua though? Hmmm…
*does some internet research*
Well, fact fans, Kahlua does contain caffeine – about 25% of the amount in regular coffee, so we may not be able to market the decaff espresso martini legally. Sad times.
Or daiquiri, or pina colada maybe? Avocada Colada has quite a ring to it. It’s like the smashed avo toast of cocktails. Instagrammable, full of vitamins and minerals. Get drunk AND have great skin.
Everyone’s a winner.
I thought this was going to be about alcohol-free drinks involving kombucha and coconut water, and I’m SO glad it wasn’t.
I’m putting ‘drink a verucca’ on my to-do list.
Haha! I’m glad I didn’t disappoint – definitely alcohol in all of mine :-)
The first one a is basically turbo-charged voddie Redbull and having had to live through my handover on that which was like being awake through brain surgery…..may give it a miss. But I’m defo donning the hot pants and channeling the gauche me with the pink peppercorn delight! Ooohh…..bite me you beast!