Sometimes my Mummy asks me if I would like a glass of wine or a tumbler full of gin or something.
For a second I am confused. “Hmmmm,” I think, “has she forgotten that I am a baby? Maybe if I just slowly accept the drink she won’t realise…”
And then I remember that I am a whole 20 whole years old and that basically I can do whatever I want, because I am a real life grown up.
*Eats seventh Jaffa Cake in a row because nobody can stop me.*
My journey of discovery with alcohol has taken many paths over the years. Currently I don’t think I will ever be able to drink cider ever again after, well, spending the first few years of being a teenager in Somerset. White wine I just plain don’t like and rose makes me feel like I’m on a “cheeky night out with the girlies”. You know what I mean. Red wine is usually my go to if it’s before 8pm and it appears to be socially unacceptable to drink hard spirits.
My favourites though are gin and whisky. I had heard the name of gin whispered around the parent blogging community for many years before I actually first drank it at a wedding this summer. I was absolutely hooked and the best thing is it never makes me vomit because it is sugar free. Aces.
A great drink I also discovered this summer at Standon Calling festival was slightly warm Lidl multivitamin juice carton (you know the ones that you always seem to have on a long car journey even though usually you don’t shop at Lidl and you’re not quite sure where they came from) with what I’m pretty sure was Famous Grouse in it. It sounds totally dog, but it was great, especially for taking the edge off putting up a tent with Belle. (She was better at it than me.)
Good old Slummy single mummy was way more prepared and actually had a hip flask instead of just having to spike her own juice carton. As soon as I saw it, I wanted it. It was so beautiful and shiny and looked super expensive like it might be more at home tucked into the inside pocket of a Versace suit. (I’ve just sent myself off on a tangent looking at lovely models in lovely grey Versace suits on the internet.)
It turns out the hip flask was from SWIG, a pretty new luxury hip flask brand. All of their flasks are stunningly elegant and just something that I need to have. Please. SWIG… *whispers* please. All of their products do have a lifetime guarantee so I would say that if you are looking to buy a hip flask, you might as well only make that purchase once in your lifetime at swigflasks.com. Then you can look hella fancy instead of doing what I do which is drinking a gin and tonic from a Starbucks cup on a long train journey so that it looks like you’re drinking coffee. (I’m not an alcoholic, I swear.)
It’s Friday night and I can do what I want. A photo posted by Beeface🐝 (@ooftbeebee) on
Now I’m off to buy some gin and dream of SWIG hip flasks. One day you will be mine, little hip flask. One day.
It’s a gorgeous hip flask from @swigflasks :-) That’s my festival weekend taken care of. A photo posted by Josephine Middleton (@slummysinglemummy) on
Mummy was sent a SWIG hip flask for this post, lucky thing.