A while ago I wrote a post asking how often do people have sex. The answer is not unexpected – we’re basically not doing it very much at all. We’re tired, we have Netflix, we’re busy scrolling through Instagram… whatever it is, a lot of us are not having sex as much as we did.
There’s good news though. Just because the average couple might be skipping shagging in favour of the latest box set, doesn’t mean that you have to. There are plenty of ways to spice up your sex life and get back to the classic three times a week minimum. Let’s take a look at some ideas now to help you feel inspired.
Switch the lights on
Okay, so this might not sound hugely exciting, but if you normally prefer to have the lights out then getting to see what’s going on could be surprisingly novel. We know that a lot of people feel nervous about having sex with all the lights on, perhaps you worry about your body, but take it from us, if you’re at the point of having regular sex with a partner, they find you attractive, with or without the lights on! Spice it up further with a carefully positioned mirror or two.
Have a change of scene
If you’re very much a bedroom only kind of couple then something as simple as switching up where you have sex can make things feel more exciting. Getting frisky on the sofa, sexy in the shower or perhaps getting down to it in the kitchen can all work. If you’re feeling extra adventurous then you could take it outside the house. Mile high club anyone?
Introduce some toys
This could be a fun household object like a silk scarf or a feather duster, (as part of some role play as a sexy maid perhaps), or you could invest in some sex toys from a trustworthy brand like Lovehoney. Don’t feel like you have to stick to vibrators and dildos, why not have a go at something a little different like a spanking paddle?
Try a little light bondage
It’s a cliché for a reason – having your partner tie you up or restrain you, or vice versa, is a great way to shake things up in the bedroom as it shifts the power dynamic and adds a new element of excitement and tension. If you’re nervous, start by using something like soft scarves to tie each other to the bed frame, and then step it up to handcuffs or purpose made restraints.
Experiment with some sexy talk
Do you talk during sex or does the thought of it fill you with dread? If you’ve not tried some sexy talk before then it can be a little daunting to dive right in, but take it slowly, start off just by being more vocal about what you’re enjoying and what you’d like your partner to do more of, and before you know it you might be storytelling your favourite fantasy.
Remember that sex is meant to be fun, so if you sometimes make each other laugh then that’s okay!