In this article we explore the different ways your family can come back stronger after a divorce…
A divorce is rarely good news for anybody concerned and, in many cases, it can quite literally tear families apart. As well as the emotional distress associated with divorce, for many there are also many other repercussions such as financial hardship, a loss of friends and the need to navigate co-parenting.
So once you’ve got everything finalised with the help of your family law solicitors, have a read through our tips for rebuilding your family – and your life – after a divorce. Let’s come back stronger than ever!
Easing Financial Complications Post-Divorce
For many women, especially those with children, one of the biggest changes following a divorce is that of income. In many cases, even in 2022, married women with children work part time or not at all in order to be primary carer for their kids; thereby relying on their husband’s income.
After a divorce, while a father will be required to provide financial help for children, it can still be hard for single mothers. This can mean that women can find themselves living within drastically reduced circumstances.
If there are young children involved, it’s often simply not possible for the mother to return to full time work in order to increase their income. The good news, however, is that these days, there are lots of work from home options available as well as opportunities for freelance work. Have a think about what you’re good at and what you enjoy and then take a look at sites such as People Per Hour to find available jobs which will fit in with your existing commitments.
Start Socialising as a Single Person
Often, when a couple is married, friendship groups will become intertwined. Unfortunately, following a divorce, people often find themselves ‘taking sides’ which, in some cases, can leave one half of the couple feeling alone at the worst possible time.
While it may be impractical to go with traditional methods of meeting people, for example, going to the pub, you may find that there are groups and events within your local community which are geared toward people in your situation. These groups can help give yourself and your children an opportunity to find new friends and to rebuild your social network.
Ask for Help
We all cope differently when it comes to major life changes such as divorce and, if you find that you’re struggling, there is absolutely nothing wrong with asking for professional help. A specialist therapist can help you to sort through the many different emotions which you’ll be experiencing after your divorce and to help you to achieve clarity when it comes to forging a new path for yourself and your family.
As well as helping you to make peace with your new circumstances, therapy can also be really useful in helping you to smooth the transition for any children involved.
Rediscovering Yourself After Your Divorce
When you get married or become a couple, I becomes we and, as such, being part of that couple will, at least in some part, define your identity. After a divorce, this can leave you feeling incomplete and confused – and faced with having to create a new you.
First, have a think about the years before you met your former spouse – who were you? What did you like to do? What were you good at? There’s a good chance that you’ll realise that, while there were things that you loved about being a couple, there were also a great many things that you loved about your life before you became a wife.
By taking baby steps, start to reclaim those things that used to define you. For example, maybe you used to enjoy swimming but stopped because it didn’t fit into your married life.
A complete reinvention is usually impractical, particularly if you have children but, by taking back control of your life and getting back to who you used to be, you can emerge stronger and happier, which will have a positive impact on your family.
Getting Back into the Dating Scene
After a divorce, getting back onto the dating scene is probably the last thing that you feel like doing. You may also have concerns about introducing somebody new to your children. This is perfectly natural and, while we’re not suggesting that you dive head-first into a new committed relationship, dating can have a number of benefits including:
- Getting you out of the house and enjoying adult company
- Making new friends
- Drawing a line under your former marriage
Starting to date again for no reason other than to have fun and possibly make new friends can help to dissipate the feeling of there being ‘a gap’ in your life. As well as perhaps changing your mindset and opening yourself up to new possibilities.
Building Your Family Back After a Divorce
For a lot of people, men and women, divorce brings with it a significant amount of change; from perhaps downsizing in terms of accommodation to having to make new friends. It’s perfectly natural to find these changes unsettling – in fact, it would be strange if you didn’t.
For this reason, it’s incredibly important to practice self-care. Often we’re so concerned about taking care of those around us that we forget to take care of ourselves. When friends offer help, take it – and if you feel unable to cope, don’t be afraid to see professional help. When our lives are uprooted, rebuilding them takes time and patience – but you will get there.
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