Are you ever too old to find love?

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Finding love - older dating online

No is definitely the answer! You’re never too old to fall in love and find happiness. In fact, I’m 42 now, (not old I know), and single and I am definitely still looking to find love.

I’ve been in love eight times in my life. I have Googled this, (many times), and it seems that eight is pretty high compared to the average. But then can you ever really have an average love? Can you compare yourself and your own experiences of love to anyone else’s? One of the things about love, the thing that makes it so hard to capture and define, is that it’s different for everyone and every time.

If anything, I’d say that my experiences of love have got more intense as I’ve gotten older. It wasn’t until I was in my mid 30s that I had my first experience of real heartbreak, the kind that can catch you unawares and make you bend double, like you can’t catch your breath. It’s like a real punch in the gut isn’t it? You can’t see a way out, you can’t imagine how you will ever feel happy again.

I had a similar feeling after a break up recently, although not quite as intense. Still though, it was much more emotional than any of the relationship break ups I had in my teens and twenties.

Over the last couple of months I’ve tried my hand at online dating – what other options do you have in a global pandemic? – but I can’t help but feel like I’m not really on the same page as the lightweight, hook up type apps that so many people seem to use. I find myself wondering about the alternatives – is there a service that caters more for older dating online, that focusses more on what really matters in a relationship rather than being based on the superficial.

I’m intrigued too about how we grow and how our expectations from a relationship change as we get older. What ARE the things that really matter to us? Is it more about companionship, and finding someone who can fit into your life around existing work and friendships? Maybe you do still want that passion, and actually you feel more confident about yourself and your body than ever?

I wonder if as you get older, you feel confident about giving more of yourself? Perhaps the life experiences that have gone before you shape you, or maybe it’s that creeping sense of time ticking away, creating a sense of having to throw yourself into love with more abandon, to seize any chance of that elusive everlasting love.

Whatever the case, I’ve certainly not given up hope of finding that happily ever after. I may have had a few false starts but I’m still optimistic, I believe in true love and I’m not going to judge every new person by the standards of the last.

I still feel like The One is waiting somewhere for me, however old I may be.


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