The one where I become Slummy Single Granny

Okay, so I’m not going to go as far as a rebrand or anything, but if you follow me on social media AT ALL then you cannot have failed to notice that one week ago today Bee gave birth to a baby boy! Does it seem ages since I teased you with the scan photo? It feels like a REALLY long time to me.

It turned out to be even more exciting than I was expecting it to be, as Bee hadn’t realised she’d be allowed two people in the delivery room, and so when she found out, she asked me to be there.

Casually, like ‘if you fancy it.’

I definitely DID fancy it.

I’ve actually always wanted to see a baby be born. It’s weird, because although I’ve done it twice obviously, you don’t get to really SEE it. You’re so involved in the searing pain, ripping of flesh etc, that you can’t exactly concentrate on watching and marvelling at the miracle of birth.

Bee was absolutely amazing, as I knew she would be. Although I know she worries a lot about things, she has this incredible way of handling stress or pain, where she just seems to focus inside herself and go all quiet and calm and powerful looking. She did it when she had her skull drilled into, and she did it again last weekend.

Bee’s partner was an absolute star too – they make an adorable couple and he couldn’t be a better daddy.

Anyway, here he is, on the day he was born:


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And I’m not just saying that because I’m his Granny, surely? He’s like someone did a little drawing of a perfect baby and there he is.

His name is Joseph – baby Joey – which coincidentally is also my name, except that my Joey is short for Josephine obviously. I planted the seed for Joey quite a while ago, not thinking it would stick, and look at him now.

MWAHAHA! My legacy continues.


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This is a photo of baby Joey with my mum, his great-Gran.

One of the things that’s special about baby Joey, if his FACE wasn’t enough, is his vast empire of grandparents. JUST on Bee’s side, including divorces, remarriages and new partners, I think we worked out that he has four grandparents, ten great-grandparents, and one great-great-Granny.

Can you imagine getting to hold your great-great-grandson? It’s bonkers isn’t it? Bee pointed out to me that it would be like me living long enough to see baby Joey become a granddad, which just seems unfathomable, but is definitely now a life ambition.

Baby Joey was a bit jaundiced, so he had to spend some extra time in hospital chilling under the sunbed, but they got to come home on Friday and he’s settling in very nicely, getting good and chubby.


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The important thing now of course is what I want my grandparent name to be. I have written about this already, and instinctively I’ve found myself drawn towards Granny, but yesterday when we were visiting, Bee and Belle came up with one that I suspect could stick.

From now on, you may call me Grannah Montana.

‘The Best of Both Worlds’ sums up being a grandparent quite nicely, so I’d say it’s a pretty good choice.

Happy one week birthday baby Joey!



  1. 24 June, 2019 / 10:46 pm

    He’s so adorable, you are going to so love having a boy in the family. Did I ever tell you, my baby is called Joseph? (ok, he’s not a baby anymore, he’s eight years old, but he’s my youngest so he will always be my baby.)
    Congratulations to all of you and well done Bee, the girl did good. x

    • Jo Middleton
      25 June, 2019 / 9:04 am

      Ahhh! All the best people you see :-)

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