What weird crap do you have in your freezer?

I was sat on the sofa on Monday night, having had a really unproductive day. I’d had a migraine the night before and was feeling generally yukky and like I’d just not achieved anything. When I feel like this I often find myself wanting to do weird jobs around the house that are kind of not very important but also somehow wholesome feeling.

I had a flash of inspiration – my FREEZER. I would to write a three part blog series about my freezer. I mean come on, you’re excited already aren’t you? Not even just a single post – a three part series!

The freezer thoughts all started because of the fact that I’d had a rather difficult time during the day with milk, as you can see from these tweets:



The second one is the worst and will probably result in me, come summer, having to burn my car in a field somewhere.

I’d be thinking though about one of the replies, which was to always keep an ice cube tray full of milk in the freezer, so you always have some in an emergency. How cool would it be, I thought to myself, to do a blog post full of emergency things like this that it’s useful to keep in the freezer?? (If you genuinely think that’s cool then we should be friends.)

Then I thought I couldn’t really do a freezer-hacks style post with my freezer as it is, all frosted up and scratchy sounding – it just wouldn’t be right. But then it occurred to me that in 40 years I don’t think I’ve ever known how to defrost a freezer properly. I’m guessing my ‘chiselling at the freezer walls with a knife’ method is not what proper grown ups do.

So there’s post two – how to defrost a freezer without cacking it up.

Working backwards again… how could I defrost my freezer when it’s full of old, loose peas and unidentifiable pieces of meat in undated bags? The first post then – THIS ONE – would be a ‘freezer reveal’, where I BARE MY SOUL and show you all the random crap currently in my freezer and challenge you to go and look in your own freezer and tell me what weird shizz you find.*

I’m warning you though, it will be a challenge to beat the woman on Twitter who told me that they’ve had a whole crab in their freezer for seven years and that he’s called Dave the Destroyer.

Do your best though.

I should probably tell you now that I’m not much of a hoarder, and I’ve only lived in this house for 18 months, so I’m not going to find Findus Crispy Pancakes dated 1983 or anything, plus my freezer is quite small, but still, it’s always fun having a nose inside other people’s stuff isn’t it?

Here it is:

What's in your freezer?

(You can see why I need to do post two in the series – how to defrost a freezer.)

I got everything out onto the floor and here’s what I found. It’s not really that much is it?

What's in your freezer

1 – Spinach. 

Bought once but 95% remains as Belle has issues with texture and will only eat spinach raw.

2 & 13 – Peas

An absolute staple. Two bags, both opened, because I’m never entirely sure whether I have any or not and quite honestly am NOT PREPARED TO TAKE THAT CHANCE.

3, 7 & 16 – All of the chips

My freezer if officially 17.6% chips. And yes, I do have two different types of microwave chips. Microwave chips are Belle’s new thing and so I am testing out different style of chip to see which she likes best. Some people might say I need a job that takes up more of my time, but what do they know?

4 – Chicken

Not old. Excellent.

5 – Meat (undisclosed)

Possibly meatballs? I really need to write on the bags.

6 – Sausages

I know for a fact that these have been here for AT LEAST three months and I’m not sure they’re at their best any more. Contrary to popular believe, freezing something does not STOP TIME. Although technically bacteria won’t grow, so you’re not going to poison yourself or anything, there are guidelines for how long you can freeze different things, (this is useful), before flavours and textures start to deteriorate.

8 & 9 – Could be anything

It looks pasta based. Sometimes I go through these phases where I decide I’m going to do wholesome things like cook meals in bulk.

10 – Some kind of bag of something?

It’s to put on sore heads or bumps.

11 – Lone Mini Milk


12 – Seafood casserole

This actually looks really nice and I don’t know why I haven’t eaten it already. Maybe I’ll have it for lunch tomorrow. I have to eat fish and seafood in individual portions as it’s one of Belle’s texture things.

14 – Frozen yogurt

Froyo because yolo.

15 – Yorkshire puddings

I am living for these.

17 – Ice

This used to be ice cubes but is now just a big lump, so if you want to break some off for a drink you have to bang it against the floor and scare the cats.

And that’s my freezer.

Now it’s your turn. Go and have a look and leave a comment telling me about the weirdest or oldest thing you have in your freezer.

*Can you tell that I made a vow to myself this year to only publish super interesting and useful content on my blog? You’re welcome.



  1. Michelle G
    16 January, 2019 / 9:25 pm

    Glad to see I’m not the only person who has ‘mystery meat’ in their freezer!

    My freezers are sickeningly full, organised and in date (with the exception of the freezer bag of mystery meat and two brioche burger rolls that I froze back in September). But, please do this exercise again later in the year, though, because there are weeks where I refuse to buy any shopping, and we eat freezer gravel until I can defrost and start again from scratch. My freezers are a sight to behold then…

  2. Christine Hutchins
    17 January, 2019 / 9:44 am

    I know that my upright freezer in the garage needs defrosting. I have an idea of what is in there, as I went shopping yesterday. I have filo pastry from several years ago, when I thought it would be cool to make spring rolls, and Brie and cranberry parcels. I also have liver in there – because my husband likes it, and it is one of those things that I think I should eat, but have never been that keen, not even when mum was giving it to us on a fairly regular basis 40 years ago.

    The freezer in the kitchen (lower half of the fridge) – this is a bit more organised and recent (as a couple of years ago our then fridge freezer broke, on Christmas Eve) – but I’ve got potato croquettes and potato waffles – I didn’t buy them, I really don’t like the. – and that is what happens when adult stepsons come back to live with you! I do also have some raw ginger in the freezer – that is because it is easier to grate when it is frozen – although not so easy when your fingers turned to ice from holding the ginger…

  3. Victoria Prince
    17 January, 2019 / 12:25 pm

    I absolutely adore my freezers – though I couldn’t tell you what’s in them because there is too much! (Yes, freezers. I have too much for one. Judge me.)

    Some of the main components are frozen vegetables (I would die without my frozen veg…in there currently is broccoli, cauliflower, peas (two different brands), spinach, mixed veg, celeriac, brussel sprouts, pumpkin and a couple of other things too. Plus some fruit – raspberries, strawberries, blueberries and banana.

    There is also loads of bread/bakery stuff – we have cheese, cinnamon & sultana and wholemeal muffins. Bagels (multiple types both normal and thin), bread (white, wholemeal seeded and a few oddments), crumpets, hot cross buns and I’ll stop there!

    Loads of homemade soup of varying varieties at the moment (making the most of the cheap veg over Christmas! So most involving sprouts….I like sprouts)

    Loads of types of fish, meat, a few ready meals. Nuts, ice cream, some pizzas, I also usually have cooked pasta and rice in there…and tons more besides but I think you’ve had enough by now!

    I can totally beat your woman on twitter though – I have a puppy in my freezer and he’s been in there for four years. (Long story….he is well away from the food! Essentially I was rearing a very small puppy belonging to friends who died at 5 weeks old and at the time we were meant to be moving in the next couple of months and I wanted him to be buried in our new garden so he was frozen. Four years and numerous problems later we are moving this spring so he will finally be laid to rest!)

    • Jo Middleton
      18 January, 2019 / 11:51 am

      Okay, so I was going to ask a question about the frozen veg and did you notice the texture changes but then… PUPPY CORPSE! Christ on a bike. I hope he is wrapped up or something, because if you sent a guest out to get a lolly and they open the freezer and a dog was staring at them, that might be a bit hard to explain! (Also very sad, sorry the puppy died etc).

      • Victoria Prince
        21 January, 2019 / 9:29 am

        Yes to the texture changes – some veg more so than others. I’ve never tried frozen mushrooms or frozen courgette and I’m intrigued because they are so wet I can’t see how they would freeze and reconstitute well….

        Worth experimenting too as brands can vary – I have the same Iceland spinach in the freezer and it’s very different to the ASDA spinach I had before. Oddly Iceland’s cauliflower is totally different in their bags of cauliflower to in their bags of mixed broccoli and cauliflower…(the cauli in the latter is much wetter)

        (Oh yes, he is well wrapped and in a box!)

  4. Christine goody
    18 January, 2019 / 11:42 am

    I have containers of all sorts of stuff. None of it labelled. whipped cream, coconut milk, fresh milk, stacks of mixed cooked roast veg(use to make soup). Weirdest thing in there is tiny jam jars filled with grated parmesan cheese as I bought a big block and needed to preserve it. I also have homemade stock (water from cooking the vegetables, no salt). I have chopped up peppers (unblanched) and sprouts. As previously discussed frozen ginger root grates brilliantly and no waste. I must admit that I have a large chest freezer and a small under the counter one too. Could go on…..

    • Jo Middleton
      18 January, 2019 / 11:49 am

      Blimey, that is one well stocked freezer – puts my three different types of chip to shame doesn’t it? The frozen bits of parmesan are, I have be reliably informed, great for adding to risottos!

  5. 18 January, 2019 / 12:51 pm

    This made me laugh out loud. I’m so glad its not just me. The problem I find with freezers is that they get used for all the stuff that you cook and have too much left over to feel comfortable with throwing away. Consequently, I find I quite often have ‘freezer surprise’ for dinner as I also never seem to have the right type of pen to hand to label any of it. Chilli and bolognese are a particular problem as they essentially look the same.

    Defrosting is another thing altogether. I managed to flood my hallway in the summer whilst defrosting – I greatly under estimated just how much water it had in it and how many towels I should place around the bottom ‘just in case’. And then, later the same day my son left the door on it just slightly ajar when getting ice cream, so it frosted up again.

  6. Erin
    18 January, 2019 / 4:50 pm

    I really enjoy these glimpses into the daily lives of my cousins across the pond (I like to think of Americans and you lovely people as cousins). But I have a few questions. First, is it not common there to have a self defrosting freezer? Saw a few comments about defrosting the freezer. Second, is in-door ice a thing there? Or an automated ice maker in the freezer. Third, microwave chips (yes I know what chips are). Do they not come out soggy?? What magic is this?? Fourth, quite jealous of your Yorkshire puddings. Fifth, PUPPY CORPSE OMG LOL.

    • Jo Middleton
      21 January, 2019 / 2:30 pm

      1. self-defrosting freezers are a thing, but mine is a fairly basic model (cheap) and so it doesn’t have it it would seem!
      2. Yes – my sister has a fancy fridge that makes ice but (see point 1) my fridge/freezer is cheap!
      3. Well, you’d think they would wouldn’t you? They have some kind of special coated paper in the packaging I think, which is meant to crisp them?
      4. You should be.
      5. Right??

  7. 18 January, 2019 / 9:17 pm

    I have thrown food away because I didn’t know what something was or even how long it been there lol

  8. 19 January, 2019 / 6:38 pm

    Well I can’t beat a puppy corpse, but THANK YOU – my Hub recently had a go at me for having two opened bags of peas in our freezer …..with one bag making a serious break for freedom all over the freezer drawer.
    In fairness, I moved only 2 months ago so I have fairly new stuff in my freezer AND it’s defrosted so at the moment I’m gloaty, but I’m with you on the inidentified sh!t (I have been known to defrost something just to find out what it really was) My Hub seems to think we should use things up in a rotational sort of way, but I’ve been fighting that one for years – neither of us is giving up any time soon.
    Hey, I didn’t realise they still made fries-to-go, they were my favs!!!
    And my freezer is about the size of yours, if we saved all this extra freezer-hacks stuff there’d be no room for food (I used to make stock………yeh, ’bout the limit of my thinking ahead unless it’s a holiday)
    Dave the destroyer though……………….still laughing.

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