I was sat on the sofa on Monday night, having had a really unproductive day. I’d had a migraine the night before and was feeling generally yukky and like I’d just not achieved anything. When I feel like this I often find myself wanting to do weird jobs around the house that are kind of not very important but also somehow wholesome feeling.
I had a flash of inspiration – my FREEZER. I would to write a three part blog series about my freezer. I mean come on, you’re excited already aren’t you? Not even just a single post – a three part series!
The freezer thoughts all started because of the fact that I’d had a rather difficult time during the day with milk, as you can see from these tweets:
The second one is the worst and will probably result in me, come summer, having to burn my car in a field somewhere.
I’d be thinking though about one of the replies, which was to always keep an ice cube tray full of milk in the freezer, so you always have some in an emergency. How cool would it be, I thought to myself, to do a blog post full of emergency things like this that it’s useful to keep in the freezer?? (If you genuinely think that’s cool then we should be friends.)
Then I thought I couldn’t really do a freezer-hacks style post with my freezer as it is, all frosted up and scratchy sounding – it just wouldn’t be right. But then it occurred to me that in 40 years I don’t think I’ve ever known how to defrost a freezer properly. I’m guessing my ‘chiselling at the freezer walls with a knife’ method is not what proper grown ups do.
So there’s post two – how to defrost a freezer without cacking it up.
Working backwards again… how could I defrost my freezer when it’s full of old, loose peas and unidentifiable pieces of meat in undated bags? The first post then – THIS ONE – would be a ‘freezer reveal’, where I BARE MY SOUL and show you all the random crap currently in my freezer and challenge you to go and look in your own freezer and tell me what weird shizz you find.*
I’m warning you though, it will be a challenge to beat the woman on Twitter who told me that they’ve had a whole crab in their freezer for seven years and that he’s called Dave the Destroyer.
Do your best though.
I should probably tell you now that I’m not much of a hoarder, and I’ve only lived in this house for 18 months, so I’m not going to find Findus Crispy Pancakes dated 1983 or anything, plus my freezer is quite small, but still, it’s always fun having a nose inside other people’s stuff isn’t it?
Here it is:
(You can see why I need to do post two in the series – how to defrost a freezer.)
I got everything out onto the floor and here’s what I found. It’s not really that much is it?
1 – Spinach.
Bought once but 95% remains as Belle has issues with texture and will only eat spinach raw.
2 & 13 – Peas
An absolute staple. Two bags, both opened, because I’m never entirely sure whether I have any or not and quite honestly am NOT PREPARED TO TAKE THAT CHANCE.
3, 7 & 16 – All of the chips
My freezer if officially 17.6% chips. And yes, I do have two different types of microwave chips. Microwave chips are Belle’s new thing and so I am testing out different style of chip to see which she likes best. Some people might say I need a job that takes up more of my time, but what do they know?
4 – Chicken
Not old. Excellent.
5 – Meat (undisclosed)
Possibly meatballs? I really need to write on the bags.
6 – Sausages
I know for a fact that these have been here for AT LEAST three months and I’m not sure they’re at their best any more. Contrary to popular believe, freezing something does not STOP TIME. Although technically bacteria won’t grow, so you’re not going to poison yourself or anything, there are guidelines for how long you can freeze different things, (this is useful), before flavours and textures start to deteriorate.
8 & 9 – Could be anything
It looks pasta based. Sometimes I go through these phases where I decide I’m going to do wholesome things like cook meals in bulk.
10 – Some kind of bag of something?
It’s to put on sore heads or bumps.
11 – Lone Mini Milk
12 – Seafood casserole
This actually looks really nice and I don’t know why I haven’t eaten it already. Maybe I’ll have it for lunch tomorrow. I have to eat fish and seafood in individual portions as it’s one of Belle’s texture things.
14 – Frozen yogurt
Froyo because yolo.
15 – Yorkshire puddings
I am living for these.
17 – Ice
This used to be ice cubes but is now just a big lump, so if you want to break some off for a drink you have to bang it against the floor and scare the cats.
And that’s my freezer.
Now it’s your turn. Go and have a look and leave a comment telling me about the weirdest or oldest thing you have in your freezer.
*Can you tell that I made a vow to myself this year to only publish super interesting and useful content on my blog? You’re welcome.