Don’t make out like you don’t have them too.
We all have little voices in our head from time to time. Not in a worrying ‘the vicar called Tony told me to paint the cat red’ sort of way – I just mean that ongoing internal monologue. We tell ourselves we can’t do things, or that we’re going to make a fool of ourselves, or that we’re looking a bit chubby today. That sort of thing.
Except I don’t really.
I was thinking about this the other day, and I reckon I have my internal monologue pretty well trained. It’s taken effort, and I think a lot of it is to do with age, (I’ve always thought my forties were going to be awesome and I’m building up to that), but on the whole my head voices seem to generally be on my team. They are cheerleading rather than criticising, and I’m grateful for that.
Let’s imagine I look in the mirror.
Here I am:
Those cubby cheeks! I look about four years old.
Now I know that I’m a bit on the tubby side, and could probably do with losing a bit of weight, especially around the hip and thigh area, (and possibly cheek), but when I look in the mirror I don’t say that to myself. What would be the point? Would it make me feel any better to tell myself that I’m fat, or that my hair looks rubbish or that I have lines around my eyes? No. We all know that confidence is just an act – an act that, if sustained long enough, becomes reality.
“You’re looking ace!’ I tell myself instead. “Look at that huge bottom! Kim Kardashian would be so jealous.”
I admire myself. Yep, it’s a pretty good sized bottom.
“That crazy floral pattern mixed with that stripy t-shirt looks amazing!” I continue, admiring my clothes choices for the day and proving that if you tell yourself something often enough you can start to believe it.
‘Pose in that tree!” I think to myself when we are out and about. ‘You’ll nail it!’
I’m not saying all these things because I want to tell you how wonderful I am, I want to make the point that it doesn’t really matter how big your bum is or what you think of your teeth, it’s just about the spin you put on it. It’s all about those voices in your head and I think that sometimes we forget that the voices actually belong to us.
We don’t have to put up with them saying mean things. We can change them and make them say supportive, kind, fun things instead.
Honestly, just try it. Think something nice right now. Tell yourself how ace you are.
And then just keep doing it.