A short rant about… hormones

I’m not having a good day.

It started like this:

You can see where this is going can’t you? I’m talking about the kind of hormones that mean you spend the whole night tossing and turning, wondering if you are secretly a failure and everyone is laughing quietly about you somewhere, and your boyfriend is with you only because he feels a bit sorry for you and isn’t sure how to tell you.

Bee replied with an excellent point, and I couldn’t help but feel that if men were crippled by self-doubt, spots, bloating, sugar cravings, actual bleeding from their bodies, not to mention the uncontrollable urge to cry in the middle of a shop because you hear a sad story about a cat, that we might have come up with some sort of solution.

You know what I mean?

It feels so medieval doesn’t it? For all the adverts assuring us that honestly, we can rollerskate in white hot pants when we have our periods, it doesn’t feel like any progress has actually been made in terms of making anybody want to rollerskate in white hot pants.

Let’s be reasonable, unless you’re a 17 year old model you’re probably not going to want to wear white hot pants full stop – menstruation is certainly not the deciding factor for me. When I came home from work this afternoon, instinct was more along the lines of a handful of orange creams than strapping on my skates.

I should say that I don’t have a particular point to make with this post, other than to potentially illicit some sympathy from women and some rolling of eyes from my male readers, most of whom will probably have flicked back to the FA Cup draw results at the mention of the word period.*

*frowns like a toddler and stamps feet a bit*

(That was a virtual stamp, I couldn’t be bothered to actually do it.)

So that’s all really. Is anybody else feeling like they would quite happily go to bed with Netflix and a Christmas selection box?

grumpy toddler hormones PMT

I tried searching the image website for ‘duvet chocolate’ and it was all thin women in nice underwear smiling under the duvet eating sweets. Yeah right.

*I don’t believe this obviously, I’m just grumpy. The hormones remember?

Image – PathomP/shutterstock



  1. 12 January, 2016 / 7:21 pm

    Oh so true and summed up perfectly

  2. 12 January, 2016 / 9:15 pm

    It’s maddening! I’ve only just started to come to terms with it. I think for two decades I was in denial about what I cowbag I was because I didn’t want to see it as a weakness. My friend helped me re frame by letting me know that I was not grumpy I was just super tuned into my needs and unable to tolerate BS, so I’m going with that.

    • Jo Middleton
      13 January, 2016 / 2:29 pm

      Haha! I love that spin on things! I find it really hard to admit when I’ve just been a cow – it definitely feels like a weakness to me. I was very good last night though – I got really grumpy about something ridiculous, so went for a quick walk around the block in the cold, gave myself a talking to and then offered an apology, with no ‘buts’ or ‘I felt this or that…’. I felt very pleased with myself.

  3. 13 January, 2016 / 12:32 am

    I often think if men has to experience “that time of the month” at a minimum tampons and pads would be free and in prescription and there would be some kind of magical pill to stop it without any side affects!

    Laura x

  4. 13 January, 2016 / 12:49 pm

    Great post – the crying over a cat bit made me laugh. I always have to look at the date if I’m feeling a little emotional and then I know it will pass and I’ll be ready for white roller skates again… x

  5. Mark
    13 January, 2016 / 3:36 pm

    I can entirely sympathise as a man who has had to deal with having formerly had periods. Luckily that is behind me, but it was entirely distressing when your body does things you feel it should not be doing and have to wait a long time for medical intervention to stop it. You’ve not known true fear until you have to deal with it discreetly in male public toilets.

    Given how much my hormones have been modified, I can appreciate just how much of a significant effect they play on people, and how much we’re slaves to them, but as much as it can feel awful, it can be empowering.

    So yes, very much you do you and enjoy Netflix and a Christmas selection box if you wish, as you’re entitled to it!

  6. 13 January, 2016 / 7:17 pm

    It properly annoys me that I am still at the mercy of my hormones so much. I’m trying to go with it, embrace it etc. I’ll probably got the hang of it and accepted them by the time the menopause hits *hollow laugh* xx

  7. Claire
    18 January, 2016 / 3:39 pm

    I got a little bit emotional when you mentioned a sad story about a cat. That’s right, I feel like crying over a hypothetical sad story about a hypothetical cat. So no, you are most definitely not the only with whom hormones are playing havoc!

    • Jo Middleton
      18 January, 2016 / 7:58 pm

      Haha! You see what we have to contend with!?

  8. Faye Salt
    26 March, 2016 / 11:50 am

    Once a month I have the urge to listen to Les Mis on my walk to work and have a little weep. I don’t need a calendar to know what’s coming.

  9. 4 July, 2016 / 8:24 am

    Nice post! it’s interesting to know that post like this one are written intentionally for women.

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