I had a bit of a moment of realisation this morning.
I’ve been getting slightly obsessed, and very boring, over the last week or so about a blogging related competition. I never normally do any sort of awards or competitions that involve getting people to vote for me, and this experience has been a reminder of why not – very quickly it became less about actually wanting the prize and more about just winning. I AM Monica.
It has brought out all of my worst qualities, and, more importantly, taken my mind away from the here and now. My thoughts were focussed in the future, I was distracted, and as a result, failed to appreciate actual life, as it was happening, in quite the same way.
The competition hasn’t finished, but when I woke up this morning and my first thought was not of the sun streaming through the curtains but of wondering how voting had gone overnight, it was a sure sign that it was time to stop. I had gone into second place overnight, and couldn’t face a whole new wave of begging. I don’t want to be that person thank you very much.
So i have come out into the garden instead.
I nearly sat on a bee, but avoided it at the last moment, which is yet another thing to be grateful for. I have a cup of tea, the garden we share with the other flats in our block is empty, and the sun is already hot on my face, even though it’s not yet 10am. There are several bushes in the garden that are full of pale pink roses, and when you get close up and stick your nose right in they smell beautiful.
When I’ve finished writing this I’m going to lie down for five minutes and feel the sun heat up my skin and listen to the sounds of the birds. Who needs to win a holiday when we have all of this around us all the time?
I just need to remember to look for it.