I’m going to recount a short conversation I had with my boyfriend this weekend. He claims he didn’t say it but I am stating here for the record that he did. I didn’t mind him saying it, he tells me how beautiful I am all the time, it’s fine, but he did say it. Fact.
It went something like this:
Him: “What have you done to your eyebrows?”
Me: “Nothing. What do you mean?”
Him (laughing): “Yes, you have! What have you done? They look weird?”
Me (paranoid): “Nothing!!”
Him (looking more closely): “Oh, maybe you haven’t, I think it’s just that they’re going grey.”
Yes, yes they are. To match my hair, my eyebrows are going grey. To make the process even more fun, the grey ones are often wiry, sticking directly out of my face. A year from now and I will look like one of those old professors whose bushy white eyebrows make him look permanently startled.
I mention it on Twitter and apparently I’m not the only women to suffer such an eyebrow affliction.
“It’s weird how you just go from normal eyebrows to overnight Denis Healey,” says Joanne Mallon, “I have a whole suite of eyebrow accessories now.”
“I had to start by drawing them back on,” she goes on, “then plucking the rampant excessive fronds. It’s a daily chore now.”
A daily chore??
It was bad enough that the hairs on my upper lip started crowding for attention on basically my 30th birthday, but a daily eyebrow maintenance routine? I just don’t have the time or the energy for it.
Is this it now? Do I need to take a trip to Optical Express to pick out glasses that cover my eyebrows? Is it just a big spiral down into my twilight years, my middle thickening, eyesight failing, skin drying out? (Actually I don’t mind that bit, it might be nice to be rid of the constant battle against nose grease.)
Do you struggle to tame your eyebrows? Is a daily regime inevitable?