This post identifies one of the key drawbacks to having a blog – the fact that rather than just saying things to friends after a few glasses of wine and then forgetting about them, you write them down for the world to see and hence become accountable.
Take New Year’s resolutions for example.
At the beginning of 2014 I came up with two New Year’s resolutions; to grow myself professionally and to eat more dip. Not in that order. (Click on the link to find out more about my dip ambitions.)
Needless to say that I am faced now, 12 months later, with not feeling like I have accomplished either. Dips have not featured prominently in my diet over the last few months and I’m not sure that ‘growth’ would be the word I would use to define any aspect of my life this year other than my waistline.
(This morning I had to change out of jeans and into stretchy trousers, prompting much internal wailing and imagining of myself buying all of my trousers from now on from the Sunday supplements and adding Eggheads to series link.)
It would be fair to say that 2014 was a bit of a toughie for me, and to be honest there were moments when I couldn’t even imagine how I would ever be able to work again (prone to melodrama as I am) and so perhaps I shouldn’t be entirely down on myself for not rising to the heights of fame and fortune. Maybe instead I should be congratulating myself on maintaining my own business through testing times, on keeping up a vaguely professional front during those moments when the end of the day and the brief respite of sleep seemed impossibly far away.
This week I was faced with a dilemma over a potential new client, and turned down a piece of work that although lucrative, didn’t excite or inspire me. It felt good. I may not have managed to attain my millionaire status in 2014 but perhaps growth can be more about developing a sense of focus, self-worth and passion for my work and, more importantly, hanging on to this even when things don’t go according to plan.
2015 is going to be about just this.
Now, where did I put that hummus?