Can an affair make you happy on International Happiness Day?

Today is International Happiness Day.

I’m cool with that, there’s nothing wrong with taking a day out to make sure you’re feeling perky.

What I am most definitely not cool with though is the press release I received yesterday from a married dating site claiming that the secret of happiness is an extra-marital affair.

What the proverbial f*ck?

According to their research, “89% of people who are actively looking for an affair claim it has made them feel happier” and “78% said they feel their marriage has improved since joining the site”.

What a pile of crap. These people haven’t improved their marriage because they don’t have a marriage – they are cheating. How can you possibly for a minute believe that a relationship based on lies and deceit is a happy and healthy one? 

Can an affair make you happy? International Happiness Day

I’m not trying to take some moral high ground here or present myself as totally naive – I understand that people have affairs. What I don’t understand though is how these people can claim it makes them happy. Being at a point in your marriage where you are having an affair in the first place is bad enough, but most affairs are in themselves miserable, wretched and exhausting things.

What made me most furious though was the blatant exploitation and manipulation on the part of the dating site. Do they honestly believe that they are somehow contributing to the nation’s happiness and helping to create happy marriages by promoting their services? Are they actually trying to win new customers with the promise that an affair will lead to happiness, all on the back of something like International Happiness Day, something that is meant to be positive and uplifting.

A spokesperson for the site comments: “Our members, whether they have found an illicit partner or not, are taking control of their lives and looking for that something that’s missing from their current relationship, be it physical or mental; they are taking a positive step towards personal fulfilment and that is going to make you happy.”

What a crock of shit. A positive step would be to talk to their partners and tell them how they are feeling, not to start living a deceitful double life.

What do you think? Am I being unreasonable is being so cross about this?



  1. 20 March, 2014 / 9:25 am

    Am guessing it depends on the point at which they were asked. Guessing might not be so happy when dealing with the fallout. Cheap marketing ploy.

    • Jo Middleton
      20 March, 2014 / 9:29 am

      Even the act of having an affair isn’t normally a happy one once the initial thrill has worn off – I suspect they asked people before they actually did anything at all! It is a horribly cheap marketing ploy.

  2. 20 March, 2014 / 9:36 am

    No, you’re right to be angry. I am not religious but people stand up in front of family and friends and make promises, now these don’t always get kept and people get divorced but that is at least honest, running around doing the dirty behind your hubby or wife is lieing on so many levels, you’re breaking your vows, breaking a few hearts and having your cake and eating it in a big way. If people want to shag around and chase shallow fulfillment they shouldn’t get married. This dating site is silly but only really dangerous to impressionable, immature adults who should know better,
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  3. 20 March, 2014 / 10:00 am

    No, you’re right to be angry. I was angry as soon as I saw the title. As you said, these things happen but should not be encouraged. For my International Happiness Day I’m going to enjoy a little bit of happiness with my faithful partner! :-) x

  4. 20 March, 2014 / 10:26 am

    I’m a PR by trade and I can only imagine the head in hands moments that brainstorming positive news stories for this lot must create. Out came the calendar of awareness days, and the hideous concept of piggybacking on a story went into play. If I were you (and the marital affair theme is as rage-making to me) I’d try and find humour in the fact that someone actually had to write the release, and worse still, take the abuse when they pitched it out. However, there’s clearly no humour in being married to one of these cockwombles, of both sexes, who join sites like theirs.
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  5. 20 March, 2014 / 1:00 pm

    The scene of the PR brainstorm at the dating agency would be great material for a Twenty Twelve, W1A type show.

    Married dating websites are as obscene as payday loan ads. Sadly there must be some sort of demand for these services otherwise they wouldn’t exist.

    But you are right, yes, very doubtful happiness can be found in having an affair. Sadly we live in an age where people don’t seem to care anymore about their wedding vows or the fact they have children and are happy to throw it away for a bit more happiness when real life sets into a relationship. That’s my theory anyway, appreciate it may not be the most popular.

    Hope the anger lifts soon, am sure writing about it helped :-)

  6. 20 March, 2014 / 1:34 pm

    I got the same realise yesterday and felt the exact same way, I brought it up with some friends as I just couldn’t get my head around how they thought it was appropriate at all! x
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  7. 20 March, 2014 / 2:00 pm

    Urgh, how depressing. Surely no-one believes this, even the people who wrote it? I can only imagine it was a ‘zany’ idea that they thought would stir up loads of controversy when people talked all about how horrible it is. Grim.
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  8. 20 March, 2014 / 7:23 pm

    That is shocking!! I’m so against affairs, I’ve been cheated on in the past by someone I was in love with and that moment you find out is the most soul destroying thing. It feels like your whole world has caved in around you. No-one can be happy knowing they’ve caused someone to feel like that! x
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  9. 21 March, 2014 / 12:19 am

    That is such a crazy statement for them to make – seriously what the f**k – that’s so crazy, do these supposed people feel no guilt and where did they pluck this statistic out of – crazy! Great post – love your writing by the way

    Laura x
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  10. Adele
    21 March, 2014 / 5:14 pm

    This makes me feel sick. Is having an affair supposed to be socially acceptable now?

  11. 16 May, 2014 / 5:41 pm

    Yes, what kind of people go onto that dating site? If you’re looking for a partner who believes that lying and cheating is the route to lasting relationship happiness then hey, welcome to our heart-warming, philanthropic website, giving a little happiness to the community! LOL ;-)
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