Something horrible happened to me this morning

I got out of the shower, wrapped my hair up in a towel, and looked in the mirror.

(No, that wasn’t the horrible thing.)

I had some of yesterday’s mascara smudged under my left eye so I got a tissue and rubbed gently from the outer corner of my eye to my nose.

(The horrible thing is coming now.)

The skin under my eye creased up into the corner and stayed there.

I tried the other eye and it did the same, which at least meant I wasn’t having a stroke or anything. I tried again. For a good three seconds the skin stayed creased, only gradually smoothing itself back into place.

You can see how horrified I was:

getting old

I checked the rest of my reflection. Was it my imagination or was my skin suddenly more crepey, my jawline slacker, my breasts  more National Geographicesque? I know I have a child going to university next month and everything but I am just not ready to be old. And yes, I know I don’t look ancient or anything, but that’s part of the problem – when you still sometimes get asked for ID to buy wine you convince yourself everything is fine and that you could absolutely definitely go to a university open day with your daughter and have people assume you are a student.

Let’s look at the evidence:

  • I’m often too scared to use the phone in case a grown-up asks me a question I don’t know the answer too.
  • Some episodes of Inspector Morse make me anxious about going to the toilet on my own.
  • I like eating Haribo in bed.

I am clearly not old enough to have creased under-eyes. Something is most definitely amiss.



  1. 21 June, 2013 / 9:54 am

    I recently noticed that my foundation is ‘gathering’ in my wrinkles. My forehead wrinkles, and my under eye wrinkles, AND my eyelid are getting properly crepe-y. I’m 30 years and 6 months old – this wasn’t supposed to happen yet!

    • admin
      24 June, 2013 / 4:54 pm

      As soon as I turned 30 it felt like instant ageing. I swear I started to grow a moustache overnight…

  2. 21 June, 2013 / 10:11 am

    You do NOT look old in the slightest. I think you have such a fresh faced look Jo! Meanwhile I am trying to rock the silver fox look in a lady rather than the blue rinse!

    • admin
      24 June, 2013 / 4:54 pm

      You definitely rock the silver fox look! Family members keep casually asking if I am going to dye my hair but I am resisting so far!

  3. 21 June, 2013 / 1:48 pm

    Don’t forget – as the wonderful Sandi Toksvig recently said – cake is the best filler…

    I am currently on an enforced diet and have lost nearly a stone. So far so good – it is only the backs of the hands that look a bit like the skin off the Christmas turkey…

    • admin
      24 June, 2013 / 4:55 pm

      That’s very true – losing weight can be very ageing. *reaches for a biscuit just in case*

  4. Jonet Middleton
    21 June, 2013 / 8:15 pm

    Be assured it does only get worse. Fortunately my eyesight is failing and I can’t see myself in the mirror!

    • admin
      24 June, 2013 / 4:57 pm

      I do always look better in the mirror until I put my glasses on!

  5. 22 June, 2013 / 8:05 am

    THAT is dehydration my dear – one too many at Britmums last night?? Have a pint of water and you’ll be back to your comically youthful, bordering-on-teenage looks in no time.

    • admin
      24 June, 2013 / 4:57 pm

      It was BEFORE Britmums! Maybe it was the excitement of the Flora tea party :-)

  6. 23 June, 2013 / 12:52 am

    Very funny post! I love your reference to National Geographicesque breasts! Me, too, sister! Me too!

    • admin
      24 June, 2013 / 4:57 pm

      Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it :-)

  7. 24 June, 2013 / 11:05 am

    Ooooh no !
    Welcome to the “ageism*” sufferer’s club.
    Really funny post though. xx
    *(Ageism : common medical condition)

    • admin
      24 June, 2013 / 4:58 pm

      Thanks, glad you like it!

  8. 29 June, 2013 / 8:06 pm

    haha you are so funny! I had an expression on my face like yours a few weeks ago when I saw the silvery hairs on my head had started to grow at the hairline now too so they are easier to see!
    Then I decided that they are the stripes I’ve earned for being on the planet for almost four decades and I felt better!!

  9. 2 August, 2013 / 1:42 am

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  10. 19 March, 2014 / 12:40 pm

    Ugh! I know. So scary. I think I apply about five different potions a day…

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