Chickenpox is one of those illnesses that as parents, we actively want our children to get. Allegedly to try and protect them from having a more serious reaction when they are older, and not just because we want them to be all listless and lie quietly somewhere.
Many of my friends got terribly excited when their kids were small if they heard of anyone with the pox, and would take their own healthy offspring round to ‘play’. I say play, but mainly it revolved around plenty of coughing, sneezing, and generally rubbing the children up against each other as much as possible.
In this UK we don’t vaccinate against chickenpox, but in the US they do, and parents worried about their children’s reactions to the vaccinations are adopting more extreme, alternative methods.
Like sending licked lollipops through the post.
I mean seriously, I know Americans have a bit of a reputation for not always being the sharpest tools in the box, but come on – licked lollipops? For a start, chickenpox is mainly an airborne virus, but even if it wasn’t, it’s just a bit gross isn’t it? Who wants to lick a second-hand lollipop that’s been through the postal system?
Perhaps it will catch on in this country as a way to get out of school or boring meetings at work.
Don’t fancy going in today but don’t like that awkward phoning in and trying to make yourself sound ill? Simple, just go online and order yourself a half eaten sandwich from someone with D&V, or a partially nibbled Snickers from a leper.
I think I see a gap in the market. Dial-a-disease. You heard it here first.