I’m having one of those days today where you question the point of things. It’s very annoying. It could be summer holiday boredom kicking in already, but as it’s still actually only the weekend, that would seem a bit premature.
It’s a really frustrating way of thinking, and I’m hoping if I write it down, it will sound so self-indulgent and pathetic that I will be shamed into thinking more positively.
This is how the conversation went this morning in my head:
“I probably should get up now.”
“Well, it’s 10 o’clock, and Belle has been downstairs on her own for an hour watching TV and eating goodness knows what for her breakfast.”
“Ah well, she’s happy. Who cares? You getting up is hardly going to solve the over-population problem, or end poverty is it?”
“No, but I probably should anyway. And I have that piece of work to start which is due tomorrow, and I really should write a blog post.”
“Why do you need to write a blog post? Who cares?”
“Well, I haven’t written anything for a few days, so I thought I should…”
“Pah! Like anyone would even notice if you stopped completely. What exactly are you hoping to achieve with it anyway?”
“I don’t know really, I’m just sort of writing it…”
“Just sort of writing it?? With no long-term plan? No PURPOSE? That’s lame. How does writing a blog ultimately help you? What’s it for? People are dying every second you lie there thinking about it you know.”
You see? Not very helpful internal dialogue. One part of me just wants to get on and not think about things and Enjoy The Moment, the other part insists on questioning my long-term motives for doing just about everything. It’s a real pain. Especially when I know there isn’t actually an answer or a point to anything.
When I write it down though it DOES just sound like me moaning, so I suppose this post has been useful after all. Not interesting or entertaining maybe, but a helpful kick up the arse for me.
I will get on with the day now and stop complaining.