Gordon Brown resigns and a Conservative – Liberal coalition looks set to become a reality

I know we’re all getting a little bored of the election now, but I felt I needed one final post to wind up my recent splurge of thoughtful political comment. Don’t you just love this photo? This is clearly Dave’s ‘let’s try to look like I care what this black man in Plymouth is saying’ face.

So, it has just been announced that Gordon Brown has officially offered his resignation to the Queen, she has accepted, and Brown has gone through the motions of recommending Cameron to form the new government. (Get me with my finger on the pulse). A formal coalition between the Conservatives and the Liberal Democrats now looks almost certain, especially as Cameron seems keen to compromise on pretty much anything to get into power – electoral reform, inheritance tax, income tax reform – apparently no policy is too significant for the Tories to dump/amend as required.

I was thinking about the election battle this morning in the car, as you do, and it occurred to me that I am perversely rather excited about the idea of a Tory government. I am totally un-Tory of course, would never vote for them, and would never knowingly sleep with a member of the Conservative party. Why then am I almost relishing the prospect of Dave leading us all into financial ruin?

It is symptomatic I think of a deeply entrenched tendency to punish myself. obviously the manifestation of some deep-rooted psychological defect, but we’ll brush over that for now. Let’s look at the facts, some examples of my self-destructive habits:

Food and drink – I eat too much and drink too much, but often in a bizarre taunting way. It’s like I am challenging myself to drink more and more, knowing I’ll feel terrible the next day, or eat biscuit after biscuit, even though I’ll end up feeling guilty and slightly sick. I’m not sure this one counts in the strictest sense though, as there is actually short-term pleasure involved in all that boozing and biscuit munching.

Work – this is a good example. I routinely take on jobs in which I am clearly underpaid and overqualified. A part of me clearly doesn’t have a lot of faith in what I’m actually worth. I find it very difficult to leave jobs too and will normally stay long after I’ve outgrown a role. Now I’m self-employed I generally feel bad about having to charge at all. (Anyone looking to employ a very reasonably priced copywriter or fundraiser should get in touch).

Relationships – where to begin on this one? Let’s just say I’m not renowned for picking the right man. If I say anymore I’m likely to find myself slipping into ranting, lonely old spinster territory, which is never pretty, and certainly not going to help my cause.

Anyway, back to the point. What was my point? Oh yes, a Conservative government. You can see now why part of me is eagerly anticipating slashes to the budget, compulsory fox-hunting for the over 12s and ritual flogging of single mums – it will just be another opportunity for me to feel bad about myself. Perhaps I should offer myself up for the stocks now. ‘I confess! I’m a single mum and I claim tax credits! Hang me now!’


To stop myself wandering even further off topic (it’s been a long day), I think I will stop now and perhaps instead have a quiet cup of tea in a dimly lit room. Apologies to anyone who googled ‘Gordon Brown resigns’, expecting insightful political commentary. You’re out of luck. As you will now realise.



  1. 11 May, 2010 / 8:15 pm

    Oh I do rather like your perspective on things :)

    If there is any good to salvaged I bellieve it will be served cold. Let’s face it, the only man who walks away with his head held high from all this is Gordon Brown. Cameron’s whoring of his party’s policies is frankly embarrassing and I aint even a Tory. If he’d had an ounce of balls and the courage of his convictions he’d have formed a minority government and negotiated on a case by case basis. And as for Clegg? His fannying around has probably cost him any shot at fair electoral reform. Who’s going to vote in favour of an electoral system that almost guarantees this outcome every five years? Tories won’t after all their “compromises” and Labour never seriously entertained much in the way of concessions so I’m not sure their voters would support PR either. Another missed chance.

    And the cold bit? That comes in 4 or 5 years when we’ve suffered (as you so look forward to lol!) as much as we can take of this New New Right. I predict a Labour landslide.

    • 11 May, 2010 / 8:35 pm

      If they make it four or five years I’ll be impressed.

      It was the Governor of the Bank of England wasn’t it that said whoever took power now would have to make such unpopular decisions that they’d quickly find themselves back in opposition for a generation. That’s a long time. I reckon Labour will come out of this pretty well in the longer term. So long as we don’t end up nationally and personally bankrupt in the meantime of course.

  2. 11 May, 2010 / 8:51 pm

    I’ve just been posting my hope, when the i’s are not yet dotted and t’s not crossed….Your post, my goodness, what I’ve been thinking all day too, but don’t have your talent to articulate it so well!
    I wish us all luck, us mamma’s. My hope bubble may burst soon but I’m glad it’s not a coalition with Labour, especially if the labourites ‘follow the former leader’ and come back as a real driving force at the end of this (bloody hell) four year term…My borough is back as Labour though, so locally it’ll be interesting to see what happens… x

    • 12 May, 2010 / 3:45 pm

      Yes, hopefully it will give Labour a chance to regroup and come back stronger than ever – fingers crossed!

  3. Suzie Grogan
    11 May, 2010 / 9:21 pm

    Well I am really confused now. What happens where Cons (how apt) and Libs vie for power at local government level? Have they all got to be nice to eachother now? What happens at any by-election – will it be ‘Oh you go’ ‘No you go’ etc etc? Will Jeremy ‘I’m saying nothing on fox-hunting’ Browne get a seat on the front bench just because he wears nice blue shirts? (Sorry Jo – I reserve the right ot be off him for a bit!). No wonder Barack Obama was first on the blower – he recognises an oil slick when he sees one…

    And seeing Gordon Brown with his little boys all jolly and holding hands was really rather sweet. We may wish they were still eating their fish fingers round the table of No 10 before long…

    • 12 May, 2010 / 3:46 pm

      I imagine when we get to another general election it will be each for his own – I can’t imagine they’ll be any ‘letting the other party’ win going on! They’re not declaring any sort of permenant loyalty are they, just agreeing to do what needs to be done for this government.

  4. Lucy
    12 May, 2010 / 8:42 am

    HAHA I put money on a Milliband-lead labour government returning to office within 2 years

    We can blame the Tories AND the Lib Dems now!

    • 12 May, 2010 / 3:57 pm

      Hoorah! Double the people to complain about.

  5. Lucy
    12 May, 2010 / 8:44 am

    Good times for J though – with 40 MPs and 15 (?) departments, he’s going to be in a good place for a really interesting job, especially as he was really second to Vince Cable in terms of Lib Dem treasury visibility.

    • 12 May, 2010 / 3:56 pm

      Not good news though for my ‘wait till he gets voted out and then he’ll go out with me’ plan :-)

  6. 13 May, 2010 / 7:53 pm

    Hahahaha, I’m joining you in the lline of single mum’s to be hung!!!! Love this post!!

    • 14 May, 2010 / 5:55 pm

      It’s going to be a pretty big line I reckon!

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