Four funny local newspaper stories

Boyfriend thinks it’s terrible that I don’t pay much attention to the news.

Part of him thinks I’m bluffing when I say ‘who?’ to everything he says, but I’m not, I just don’t particularly want to spend a great deal of time reading about awful things that I can’t do anything about. Sometimes I will say to him ‘read me out the nice news’, but there isn’t any, so he will start telling me about some country or other that has nuclear weapons and I will have to say ‘ssshhh!’ loudly and put my hands over my ears.

Local news though, local news is a different matter. Local news makes me laugh. It light-hearted and fun and often features stories about plucky pensioners taking matters into their own hands. I’m never quite sure what the matters are, but there is always a nice ‘thumbs up’ photograph to go with the piece. Or thumbs down of course if it’s a bit of a sad story, like said plucky pensioner having lost their beloved budgie.

I’ve worked for a local newspaper before and I know just how desperate things get, which probably explains this story that I found on Twitter via soozworld:

"hat found"I feel quite sad to think of that hat being destroyed. I almost want to claim it.

Then of course who can forget the hedgehog trapped in a bag story?

"baby hedgehog"

In the Bristol Post this weekend I found another couple that made me laugh quite a lot. First up was this one about a children’s wooden railway manufacturer being turned down to run the West Coast Mainline. Personally I think it would have been quite amusing to see station staff replaced by life-sized wooden models of The Fat Controller, but hey ho, that’s probably why I’m not the Prime Minister:

"toy factory's mainline move"

And finally, there was this story about a banned driver in court. The story in itself isn’t funny, but wait until you get about two-thirds of the way down. Surely the whole experience had been humiliating enough for him without reference to his man bag? Talk about rubbing salt in the wounds. That reporter clearly took a dislike to him:

"man bag"

You see? That’s all much more entertaining than the situation in Syria isn’t it?

m4s0n501

8 comments on “Four funny local newspaper stories

  1. Gotta love the local news. I feel like that about the news, although it does make me feel a bit stupid that I don’t always know whats going on! Hat should really be given to charity though, not destroyed! Read that train track story online, brilliant PR move! :)

  2. Miriam Rich says:

    His ‘man bag’!! I love it, you couldn’t make it up…

  3. maryyucel says:

    I love stuff like this. I too don’t watch the news so much. We live abroad so all our news is international, essentially this means it is the worst stories from around the globe rather than just one country. I frequently seem to get the gist of what’s happening in the world from watching Conan and Jay Leno rather than CNN and Al Jazeera.

  4. Alexandra says:

    hahaha! Good ones…They always make me feel better. So, if you have experience in local newspapers maybe you can tell me why on earth would anyone write such things?!:)

  5. fern bailey says:

    Bahaha. That hat story actually made me LOL. . Things must be desperate!

  6. mummysallygg says:

    The hat one is brilliant! And kudos to Bigjigs for their innovation! I think this is why I love Twitter so much- loads more opportunities for links to slightly odd news stories.

  7. Hah at the hat one, that really cheered me up! I recall a local story of a wedding cake with the husbands name written wrong, they crossed out Steve and wrote Paul IN BIRO!

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