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I recently set up an alert for houses near me on Rightmove.
I’m not one of those people who normally has Rightmove as a hobby, but I got a bit overexcited a couple of months ago when a house identical to mine came on the market in the next street for £85,000 more than I paid for mine four year ago. That might not seem much in the grand house buying scheme of things, but given that I only paid £180,000 for mine, it feels significant.
So, then I started having house move fantasies, obviously, not really stopping to consider the cost of actually moving, or the fact that if house prices have increased I’d also need to spend more… BLAH BLAH BLAH! Not listening! I just wanted to look at the pictures okay? Let me be.
What I quickly discovered was that there are two types of house sellers out there. The first type don’t seem inclined even to make their beds, and have random piles of crap scattered everywhere, leaving you not entirely sure what a room is even meant to be. I swear I looked at one last week where in one room they just had what appeared to be a giant metal safe and a box full of chains.
And then you have the second type, who have breakfast bars.
A breakfast bar has always felt to me like the height of sophistication, and the second type know how to work them. The breakfast bars in type two photos are adorned with overflowing bowls of plump fruits, luring me into the fantasy that if only I bought this house, I would become the sort of woman who enjoyed apples, who would actively choose to snack on an apple in fact, even over a Jaffa cake.
Type two breakfast bars have bar stools that will make you feel like you’re in swanky cocktail bar. All you have to do is perch yourself on a type two bar stool and the husband/butler of dreams will appear, ready to slide a hand crafted cocktail down the breakfast bar towards you while he whips you up some sort of wholesome dinner involving steamed sea bass.
‘All you need is this breakfast bar,’ the type two Rightmove pictures whisper at me, ‘and your life will be complete.’
You’re feeling it right?
To further immerse myself in the breakfast/cocktail bar fantasy I went old school and made myself a Pinterest board. Remember when everyone made Pinterest boards? I haven’t used Pinterest for ages but oh my goodness it was such fun. Cutting and sticking without getting glue all over your clothes.
This is my breakfast cocktail bar board. You can see the vibe I’m going for can’t you? I will never be able to afford it, but a woman can dream.
You can just FEEL the hand crafted cocktail in your hand can’t you?
I took to Lakeland Furniture to peruse the bar stools.
Lakeland Furniture basically has a bar stool for every occasion, but as much as I loved the stools in blush pink velvet, (I love the idea of ANYTHING in blush pink velvet), I feel like the Pinterest board demands more of a vintage brown leather vibe.
Maybe this one?
Your cocktail would need to be in one of those heavy, cut crystal tumblers, probably an old fashioned? The version of me that’s sat in this bar stool definitely likes whisky.
I really want to like whisky. I want to come home from the office and pour a slug of whisky from a decanter into a tumbler and hold it thoughtfully while I gaze out over the city through my floor to ceiling apartment windows. I just can’t get over it tasting of parks in 1994 though.
Also I don’t have an office. Or views of the city, which probably doesn’t help.
In this bar stool though, sat at my type two Rightmove breakfast cocktail bar, it would happen. There I would finally be a grown up and like whisky.
I’m beginning to think this breakfast cocktail bar fantasy might be less about the furnishings and more about some unresolved issues around maturity, purpose and my unwillingness to embrace adulthood, but let’s not dwell on that.
I prefer to make it all about the bar stools.
Find your bar stool of dreams at Lakeland Furniture.