Some thoughts on buying a house and then feeling sad

If you’d have asked me this time last year if I thought I’d ever be able to afford to buy a house I would have laughed heartily. No one can right? And then I CASUALLY went into an estate agent, just wanting to nose at some new apartments that had been built in our town, and it turns out there’s such a thing as a 5% mortgage, and suddenly it all seemed rather more feasible.

But no one would ever give ME a mortgage surely?

Even at business networking groups people look at me suspiciously when I say I BLOG for a living – imagination the reaction of a financial institution??

Except oh. It turns out that actually I’m worth a punt.

Right, so we’ll just go and look at a few places, no pressure. Except this one which we see in our first round of visits is actually pretty nice. It’s way over what we can afford but we may as well make an offer?

And then it’s accepted, and nothing goes wrong, and here we are.

And it’s lovely, and it was the right decision, and I have the SHELVES OF DREAMS but there is also a part of me that feels deflated and overwhelmed and a bit ‘well what now?’ about the whole thing.

I think I spent so many nights in the three months between the offer and the move lying awake, imagining all the things I was going to do and how amazing it was going to be, that when I got here, it felt like everything was over before it began. Yes, I still have all of these projects do to, but it turns out they take hard work and money AS WELL AS Pinterest boards (who knew!) and I want everything perfect NOW.

But then what? I do have some things that are perfect, (did I mention the shelves?), but you still have to make dinner and wash up and hoover and all the things you did before. Nothing EXCITING is happening now.

I know that this is probably very normal and that it will pass, but I stupidly didn’t think to expect it, and now I feel silly and sad. Yesterday rather than moping about I decided to do something physical, and put up a four metre wide curtain pole in the living room and hung the curtains I’ve been wanting for YEARS and yes, they look beautiful, but they are up now, so I don’t have them to look forward to anymore.

Bluebellgray curtains

Does that all sound rather pathetic and spoilt? I think it probably does. ‘Oh no, look at me so sad because I bought a house and have lovely new curtains!’

Not really cool.

Have you ever felt this kind of anticlimax? Any tips to help get out of the funk or do I have to just suck it up and let it pass?



  1. msedollyp
    6 July, 2017 / 9:58 am

    yes, and it feels wrong but there it is, get out and have fun, it will pass….

  2. Jonet Middleton
    6 July, 2017 / 11:20 pm

    The curtains look beautiful and go with the cushions! Don’t be sad! It’s a great achievement. You will have to find something else to get excited about!

  3. 10 July, 2017 / 9:18 am

    It’s very different to starting a family isn’t it! You spend months waiting for them to arrive, they here and everything afterwards is new and exciting!

    I comparison a new home is pretty mundane despite having the build up you described. Looking at the home as a whole can be pretty daunting and wondering when it will all get done can easily lead to the new house blues.

    My piece of advice would be to break down your new home into smaller projects in your mind (on Pinterest) or even on a wall in the spare room, if you are feeling particularly OCD. See each project through from start to finish and slowly your dream home will appear before your very eyes and hopefully not break the bank account at the same time!

    • Jo Middleton
      11 July, 2017 / 11:16 am

      Very sensible advice! I feel like perhaps I need to buy a whiteboard and coloured pens? (Please say yes…)

  4. 11 July, 2017 / 2:27 pm

    I know how you feel. We lived in a small and cheap 2 bed terraced house for 7 years, always lusting after something bigger, something detached. We would say things like, wouldn’t it be great to have an en-suite, utility room, separate dining room etc etc. Wouldn’t it be great to have a garage, bigger garden..

    Well, 3 years ago, we managed that dream. We moved in to a 4 bed detached house with all things we wanted. Except, now we have it, it doesn’t feel as good as I was expecting.

    Don’t get me wrong, its an amazing house and we have lots of space so I shouldn’t complain, but I’ve realised that there’s more to life than just moving up the property ladder.

    Great blog!! Keep up the good work.

  5. 24 August, 2017 / 1:13 pm

    Jo, I think that what you’ve gone trough is absolutely normal and in my humble experience with buying and selling properties, that’s something that all first-time sellers / owners do seem to experience and being aware of that is the least one can do. As you have most likely realised, there tens of hundreds of other things to worry and take care (them lovely new curtains).. One way of handling these emotions is starting thinking of your old home merely as a product, which is out for sale. The more emotional you become, the more difficult the whole buy/sell process will be.. Often, a seller who isn’t absolutely ready to sell a property will insist on listing at a price that’s higher than what the current market will ask for it. This is why it’s absolutely mandatory that sellers should be emotionally prepared to sell; when they aren’t, they might subconsciously sabotage the process and nobody want’s that.

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