If you’d have asked me this time last year if I thought I’d ever be able to afford to buy a house I would have laughed heartily. No one can right? And then I CASUALLY went into an estate agent, just wanting to nose at some new apartments that had been built in our town, and it turns out there’s such a thing as a 5% mortgage, and suddenly it all seemed rather more feasible.
But no one would ever give ME a mortgage surely?
Even at business networking groups people look at me suspiciously when I say I BLOG for a living – imagination the reaction of a financial institution??
Except oh. It turns out that actually I’m worth a punt.
Right, so we’ll just go and look at a few places, no pressure. Except this one which we see in our first round of visits is actually pretty nice. It’s way over what we can afford but we may as well make an offer?
And then it’s accepted, and nothing goes wrong, and here we are.
And it’s lovely, and it was the right decision, and I have the SHELVES OF DREAMS but there is also a part of me that feels deflated and overwhelmed and a bit ‘well what now?’ about the whole thing.
I think I spent so many nights in the three months between the offer and the move lying awake, imagining all the things I was going to do and how amazing it was going to be, that when I got here, it felt like everything was over before it began. Yes, I still have all of these projects do to, but it turns out they take hard work and money AS WELL AS Pinterest boards (who knew!) and I want everything perfect NOW.
But then what? I do have some things that are perfect, (did I mention the shelves?), but you still have to make dinner and wash up and hoover and all the things you did before. Nothing EXCITING is happening now.
I know that this is probably very normal and that it will pass, but I stupidly didn’t think to expect it, and now I feel silly and sad. Yesterday rather than moping about I decided to do something physical, and put up a four metre wide curtain pole in the living room and hung the curtains I’ve been wanting for YEARS and yes, they look beautiful, but they are up now, so I don’t have them to look forward to anymore.
Does that all sound rather pathetic and spoilt? I think it probably does. ‘Oh no, look at me so sad because I bought a house and have lovely new curtains!’
Not really cool.
Have you ever felt this kind of anticlimax? Any tips to help get out of the funk or do I have to just suck it up and let it pass?