The one where the wedding anxiety kicks in

Yesterday we booked a venue for our wedding.


It’s happening in April, so I realise that in wedding terms we are leaving it all very late in the day, but I’ve been feeling so laid back about the whole thing, it didn’t feel like an issue. ‘God, people make so much of a fuss about weddings, what’s the matter with them?’ I’d been thinking to myself. ‘It’s so easy, what even is there to do?’

Last night though, lying in bed at 1am, I realised that I had been so laid back exactly because we hadn’t done anything. In the middle of the night, it felt like the booking of the venue was a big cork coming out of a bottle. A bottle that had been shaken consistently for about 8 months.


The place we’ve booked is perfect, but it has one hitch – there is a booking first thing the next morning, which means all the clearing up has to be done on the night. Obviously we don’t want to do this ourselves, so I spent a large portion of time between 10pm and midnight worrying about who would do this.

The I moved on to tablecloths.

What happens about tablecloths??

Where do I get them? Am I meant to buy them? Hire them? Borrow them? Wash them afterwards?!

You know how in the middle of the night, ridiculous things become a matter of life and death? That’s how I felt about the tablecloths.

When I finally got to sleep, there was no relief. Instead, it got worse. It was my wedding day, and I was wearing what was apparently my dress – a shocking pink lace affair – but I had totally forgotten to plan anything else. People were milling about my house, but no one seemed to have actually been sent an invitation and I had no idea what time the ceremony started.

I realised I hadn’t thought about hair or make-up and when I looked in the mirror my face was a bright orange – some sort of TOWIE fake tan gone wrong – and my eyebrows were painted on like a clown.

It was NOT COOL.

Is this it now? Please tell me I won’t become some sort of hysterical bride, unable to talk or think about anything other than chair covers, (where do you get chair covers?!?) and bunting?

crazy bride

Image – Julenochek/shutterstock



  1. 11 January, 2016 / 2:23 pm

    You’ve booked it exactly the same way we did in terms of time scales. 3 months

    On top of that we used a Groupon deal which included everything we could want from a function / hotel POV. That cost £1995 but at least we didn’t have to worry about anything like bloody chair covers or any of that sort of stuff, it was all taken care for us..

    All that was left was rings, dress, suit … that’s it! – 3 months is more than enough to sort that out!

    If you do it my way you can basically chill out until like 2 days before hand lol

    • Jo Middleton
      11 January, 2016 / 3:17 pm

      Yeah, I can see the appeal of not having to think about the chair covers! We’ll definitely not be spending a fortune – we have a lovely village hall for the reception – what I need to do is delegate :-)

  2. Faye Salt
    11 January, 2016 / 6:21 pm

    Hard not to stress but you can chuck chair covers off the list. Some lovely flowers will do!
    Thought about food? Pieminister weddings will be happy to help!

    • Jo Middleton
      12 January, 2016 / 4:46 pm

      Oooh, I don’t have food yet Faye – are you the person to talk to about wedding pies? We were wondering about Pieminister as I used to live down the road from you and actually have a quote on the back of your book! #claimtopiefame

  3. EllieT
    12 January, 2016 / 8:56 pm

    My wedding was exactly the same. We walked home and various friends and family cleared up for us. They’ll be happy to don’t worry! Didn’t spend a fortune on anything.

  4. Chris Knowler
    12 January, 2016 / 10:14 pm

    We had our venue booked but as we had 2 close family weddings before ours we hadn’t done much more. So from January to April when the wedding was we booked caterer, photographer, florist and I had my wedding dress designed plus my husbands suit made. Bridesmaid dress shopping was included on my hen weekend lol! I think it made us think about it much more clearly. Everything went well on the day. So I don’t think you have to worry about it.. I had a spread sheet with things to do and dates etc which kept me(us) on task.

  5. 16 January, 2016 / 8:27 pm

    Well, if you need a cake… ;)

  6. 23 March, 2016 / 2:05 pm

    Probably because you don’t have so long to sweat over everything you will just crack on with it and do it and won’t have weeks to think about it. Make it fun though and don’t let other people try and get involved too much…apart from with the cleaning up of course

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