I’ve been looking forward to The Apprentice for weeks now, if not months. It’s one of the only programmes, apart from the Great British Bake Off obviously, that I actually watch live.
I don’t know what it is about The Apprentice, but it’s compulsive viewing for me. As much as I love watching it though, I could never actually be an Apprentice contestant. Having just watched the first episode, I came up with 11 reasons why not.
- I do not ‘dance the dance.’ That’s not to say I don’t dance a dance, but it’s definitely not the dance. It’s more of a sort of twitch or fit of some kind.
- I don’t give myself 9 out of 10 for attractiveness. 6.8 at best. 7.6 maybe after a few sambucas.
- Owning a four year old Toyota would not be the stuff of nightmares for me.
- I do not see myself as a cross between Gandhi and the Wolf of Wall Street. Perhaps more Judy Finnigan meets Edina from Ab Fab.
- I could not pull off white loafers, no socks and a blue suit. (To be fair, no one can.)
- I could not sell ice to the Eskimos, nor would I want to.
- I don’t speak about myself in the 3rd person.
- I don’t believe that my success depends on the length of my skirt. ‘Making sure I have some nice make-up and heels’ isn’t top of my list when heading out to a meeting.
- I know that a man in a cheap hotdog costume does not equal ‘gourmet’.
- I barely spend any time at all thinking about how much cheese I need.
- I have an IQ higher than 92.
Are you a fan of The Apprentice? Would you ever apply to be a contestant?