A short rant about bath fillers

There is something that has been bothering me. I noticed it first on a TV ad, and then again at the weekend in a flier that fell out of a magazine.

It’s bath fillers.

‘What the hell is a bath filler?’ I hear you cry, your forehead crinkling in confusion, and you may well ask. In my mind a bath filler is a young man draped in robes, with a crown made of leaves, who fills your bath for you with fresh goat’s milk while you lounge back, sipping champagne and eating peeled grapes, handed to you by a young maiden. It sounds so decadent, what else could it be?

It’s a tap.

An actual tap.

I did wonder for a little while if a bath filler* might be something quite different, that it might have some distinguishing feature that sets it apart from an ordinary bathroom tap, but apparently not. I have been doing some research this morning, trying to give the bathroom industry the benefit of the doubt, but then I found this:

Bath fillerThere are a few things I would like to draw your attention to with this bath filler**. Firstly, this is no ordinary bath filler*** – this is a ‘Deck Mounted Bath Filler’. The rule here seems to be that the closer the bath filler resembles an ordinary tap, the longer and more ridiculous its name has to be.

Then we have the price. I have never bought a tap before, but £143? For a tap? (I am showing my naivety here – I bet this is cheap for a bath filler.)

Finally, and possibly my favourite part of the whole thing, is the ‘Quick Overview’. What might you expect to read in the summary of a bath filler? Perhaps you want to know what it’s made of? How big it is maybe?

Don’t be silly.

The important thing to know here is that with this bath filler you can ‘lie back and soak up the atmosphere of days gone by’.

Um, excuse me? Is this just because it has Regency in the name? Are you seriously going to lie in the bath, gaze at your ‘Regency Deck Mounted Bath Filler’ (I can’t even begin to describe how painful all of those capital letters are), and imagine yourself revelling in excess amongst the aristocracy? I highly doubt it.

More likely you will be lying there thinking ‘I can’t believe I paid that much for a tap.’


**Seriously, it’s a tap.

***TAP DAMN IT! (You get the point.)




  1. 15 October, 2013 / 10:47 am

    Haha! What a wonderful rant :-)

    Completely agree… it’s a TAP. They’ll be calling plugs “bathwater retainers” next, or something equally dumb.

    • admin
      16 October, 2013 / 8:06 am

      I may investigate and come up with a whole post of things that have been given ridiculous names :-)

  2. 15 October, 2013 / 11:07 am

    Don’t you own a Water Immersion Enabler to attach your Water Immersion Enabler Filler?

    This kind of marketing gets my goat. I imagine the people who designed it agree with you and then Marketing were told to find a way to charge ONE HUNDRED AND FORTY THREE POUNDS for it!

    • admin
      16 October, 2013 / 8:05 am

      You can imagine the brief – “We want to charge £143 for this tap. Make it sound worth it.”

  3. Ella
    15 October, 2013 / 11:29 am

    Oh I feel your pain! My pet hate is that clothing has become singular: great with an ankle ‘boot’ or with a skinny ‘jean’ – when did that happen?!

    • admin
      16 October, 2013 / 8:05 am

      Goodness yes! The ‘jean’ is soooo annoying.

  4. 15 October, 2013 / 12:07 pm

    I’m probably getting my terminology mixed up, but in my mind the phrase “bath filler” brings to mind that line of sealant betwixt bath and tiles.

    • admin
      16 October, 2013 / 8:04 am

      Yes! I hadn’t thought of that, but surely that IS what it is??

  5. Patricia Walker
    15 October, 2013 / 12:17 pm

    £143? £143 for a tap? Yes seriously…it is just a glorified tap…ok so it is just a glorified TAP! I struggle to believe that there are people out there stupid enough to pay £143 (Shame the figures can’t be capitalized too!) for a TAP of ANY description!! But there must be or we wouldn’t have Regency Deck Mounted Bath Fillers…it is after all a posh name that we’re paying for not just another rubbish TAP

    • admin
      16 October, 2013 / 8:04 am

      A tap. It doesn’t bear thinking about. Why does everything cost so much??? I swear a loaf of bread used to be about 50p too…

  6. 15 October, 2013 / 12:32 pm

    Ha ha, that really made me chuckle. Am so with you on this one

  7. 15 October, 2013 / 12:33 pm

    My tap is not very good at filling the bath…IF ONLY I’D BOUGHT A BATH FILLER!!! Then I could lie back, rub a bit of Solid Bar Washing Substance (soap) onto my Textured Cleansing Disk (sponge) before heading off for a rest in my Horizontal Sleeping Platform (bed).

    • admin
      16 October, 2013 / 8:03 am

      If only…

  8. 15 October, 2013 / 12:35 pm

    I once saw some packaging for a torch that didn’t use the word “torch” instead it was something along the lines of “Directional darkness eliminator”

    • admin
      16 October, 2013 / 8:03 am


  9. 15 October, 2013 / 1:08 pm

    Omg how much?
    I was only considering buying some new ones as mine look horrid with limescale etc…..limescale remover it is then!

    • admin
      16 October, 2013 / 8:03 am

      I suspect limescale remover may be the cheaper option!

  10. 15 October, 2013 / 3:38 pm

    Oh. My. God.

    I thought it was going to be some kind of bath salt, or that weird bath jelly you can get for kids. But a bath-filling device? Wow!

    And sadly taps are ridiculously expensive :( I don’t understand why, they’re such a simple tool…

    • admin
      16 October, 2013 / 8:02 am

      This is why I can’t imagine ever owning a house. £143 just to buy a tap?? I would either be broke or just living in a tumbledown shack…

  11. 15 October, 2013 / 3:51 pm

    Lol, that’s hilarious. If only my taps (sorry bath fillers) were the only thing in the bathroom that needed replacing. Also it makes you wonder about basin fillers.

    • admin
      16 October, 2013 / 8:01 am

      And for the kitchen you would probably need ‘crockery cleaning receptacle fillers’ or something like that…

  12. Matthew Collins
    15 October, 2013 / 8:43 pm

    I suspect they are using more fancy names to fool people into paying more. Though i’m not quite sure who would be daft enough to think £143 for a tap? No Way Jose but also think £143 for a “bath filler”…hmmm reasonable….

    • admin
      16 October, 2013 / 8:00 am

      Yes, it’s amazing isn’t it the tricks our brains fall for, even when we KNOW we are being duped!

  13. 15 October, 2013 / 9:16 pm

    Ha ha – loved this post, really made me laugh. I had never even heard of the term ‘bath filler’ before – i have clearly been missing out as we only have bog standard taps on our bath ;)

    • admin
      16 October, 2013 / 8:00 am

      Boring old TAPS?? What are you thinking? Get yourself down to your nearest bathroom showroom RIGHT NOW.

  14. 18 October, 2013 / 7:33 pm

    I love this post. Goodness you have been cracking on with the important stuff this week eh.

  15. 21 October, 2013 / 11:41 am

    Baha! But…it got your attention didn’t it?! Even though it was just a tap.

  16. 21 October, 2013 / 9:22 pm

    Bonkers woman. Keep it up!

  17. 21 October, 2013 / 10:29 pm

    when I initially read bath fillers, I was sort of thinking bubble bath! What a ludicrous name. I’m just buying a new house at the moment, and all the terminology they use is crazy! I love the days gone by description, if only a tap could make all our dreams come true!

  18. 22 October, 2013 / 10:50 am

    Ha! I had a similar pet peeve when I was a chef.Coming up with over-descriptive ways to write Shepherds pie was mind boggling.I do sympathise though as a blogger friend writes product descriptions and she finds it really boring.

  19. 24 October, 2013 / 7:37 am

    haha love these ranty posts, they really make me laugh. I told Tom all about your freezer, ice box story too xx

  20. 20 November, 2013 / 2:13 pm

    My idea of a bath filler is the same as yours, and I might even consider paying £143 for that kind of bath filler. As long as I can lie back and gaze at it while I soak up the atmosphere etc.

    But £143 for a tap with a poncey name? I don’t think so!

  21. Isabel O'Brien
    1 December, 2013 / 1:19 pm

    Just browsing through your blog and found this, it made me giggle and not much does at the moment.
    “Tap damn it!” :’)

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