The end of our Primary Times

September is going to be a big month for us. Not only is Belle leaving primary school this summer and moving up to big school, but Bee, my precious first-born, turns into a grown-up and heads off to university in London.

As if by way of a reminder, Belle bought this home from school this week. My last ever copy. It is a truly terrible publication, full of poorly designed ads, yet I can’t help but feel oddly fond of it all of a sudden:

Primary Times

They are actually growing up and it is leaving me feeling a teeny bit sad.

Of course it could just be the cold I’ve got this week. I did cry at our netball match on Tuesday night when I didn’t score any goals in the first quarter and had to come off not feeling well, (embarrassing), so it would appear I am a tad on the over-emotional side, but still, having children grow up is a thing I think you’re allowed to get a bit teary about.

As if by way of rubbing salt in the wounds, last weekend I worked for three days at the Baby Show in Birmingham, surrounded by glowing pregnant women and chubby cheeked babies. It was almost enough to make me, heart-of-stone-mother that I am, a little broody.

‘It might be quite nice,’ I thought to myself, ‘to have another go. This time I could actually make an effort and do it properly, make my own sweet potato purées and not hide on my own in a corner of the playground at school pick up time. It could be fun to have a baby with chubby cheeks.’

Then I have to make myself remember that evening when Belle was about three months old. We were both lying on my bed. We had been lying there for some time in fact. I was lying on my side, Belle lying next to me. She was breastfeeding, and every ten minutes or so she would appear to fall asleep. I would wait a little while, then delicately begin to extract my boob from her mouth. Sometimes she would let me get as far as the door before waking up and crying again, but not often. It would get to the point where your options were basically to scream or cry, where every gulp she took felt like having the life literally sucked out of me.

I can’t remember exactly whether it was a scream or cry moment, but I remember telling myself ‘If ever in the future you think about having more children, think about this moment and remember that you decided right here never to do it again.’ Those words have stuck in my head long past the memory of how I actually felt.

I know that it’s natural to feel sentimental, that having children grow up and move on doesn’t mean you need to replace them, but I can’t help but feel I might have a tear in my eye at Belle’s final sport’s day this afternoon.

Maybe it’s time to start my cat collection.

How do you feel about your children growing up?



  1. 23 May, 2013 / 10:48 am

    My husband always said that if I ever get broody again he’d come at at my boob screaming and clawing – just to remind me why we’re sticking with two… But I can recommend a cat. There is some clawing, but not of my boobs luckily.

  2. 23 May, 2013 / 12:14 pm

    Liv is only 18 months but I already feel sad that so much time has passed by so quickly, I get broody but then cherish our one to one time too. How time flies!

  3. 23 May, 2013 / 1:15 pm

    I’ve cried each time one of mine left primary school, and had the exact same breastfeeding thing where they don’t let you leave many times, yet when no.3 was 9 I did have another, and another after that. It’s all over so soon, and then you have the joyous teenager to cope with!

  4. 23 May, 2013 / 1:43 pm

    My daughter is only 3.5yrs, but I already feel like she’s growing up too quick…I’ve got to start visiting schools and making a decision about where she will spend her primary years. I will be very upset & miss her when she starts school. It’s hard looking after a toddler/pre-schooler, but I’ve always told myself that they grow up quick and that I will look back on these years and miss them when she’s older and doesn’t need me as much!!

  5. 25 May, 2013 / 1:45 pm

    I LOVE the newborn stage so get broody everytime I see one! However, after Millie’s traumatic birth I have said that the two we have is perfect for us! They grow up so quickly, Chester starts Primary School in September and I will be crying my eyes out on his first day, I can see it now!

  6. 26 May, 2013 / 1:41 pm

    My youngest turned 2 last week and with it my womb sobbed …. The sudden realisation that I will never have a baby again :( although it is really sad I’m excited about the new journey a 6,4 & 2 yr old bring. Bye bye baby days ….

    PS I know what you mean …. Primary Times sucks!

  7. 8 June, 2013 / 1:46 pm

    I have a 15 and a 12 year old so both at secondary school. The time just goes so quickly doesn’t it? I too miss the primary school stuff…………….so I did actually invest in 2 cats LOL they will be my babies even when they are old and grey!

  8. ManAndBuggyBlog
    8 June, 2013 / 7:56 pm

    I read a story recently about a father who became upset when his child stopped calling him Daddy. Overnight he became dad! They grow up fast!

  9. 9 June, 2013 / 3:56 am

    You struck a chord with me, DS 7 now and time passing all too fast. Cats great substitute, but sadly we can’t replace ours, which have now gone to cat heaven, because of DS, so will have to stay broody.

  10. 12 June, 2013 / 5:27 am

    Your blog is very nice!!! Bye, Laura

  11. Sarah
    14 June, 2013 / 5:44 am

    My youngest (of 2) is about to start school in September and I can honestly say that this is now the exciting bit. Watching them become their own people with their own sense of the world and the part they play is far more rewarding and enjoyable than 2 scraps that can’t fend for themselves. The kids continually moving on and growing up is also a great marker in my own life that continually shifts and welcomes new opportunities. Nothing more satisfying or exciting than that surely?

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