How many firemen does it take to rescue a squirrel?

Quite a lot it would seem, as illustrated by the three fire engines that gathered in Hertfordshire this week to rescue one squirrel from a river.

Now I love animals as much as the next person*, but seriously, is this really the best use of public funds? We are in a massive recession, cutting essential services left, right and centre, and yet we can afford to worry about one measly squirrel?

The squirrel was trapped on a small island in the middle of a river, and the firemen placed a ladder from the bank to the island and encouraged the squirrel to scurry back across. The idiotic animal managed to fall in even then, but eventually made it to safety.


Help! There’s a nut stuck in my mouth!

Here’s the best bit though – squirrels can swim! It’s hard work for them though, so they don’t do it unless they really have to. So what we’re basically seeing here is three fire engines going out to rescue a lazy squirrel.

Over the least three years, fire brigades have spent over £3.5million resucing animals, including seven dolphins, a lost duckling and a snail. Yes you heard me. A snail. A ridiculous waste of money given that Belle actually operates her very own snail rescue service for only one pound per snail.**

I don’t want to sound heartless, but please can we stop bothering the emergency services with lazy squirrels? Unless of course it is one of my mind squirrels, in which case please send help immediately.

*who hates animals




  1. 8 January, 2013 / 10:56 am

    I’m with you, especially since a squirrel I rescued from a cat bit my finger, meaning a trip to A&E. I still have the scar!

  2. 8 January, 2013 / 11:23 am

    yes we rescued a squirrel a few years back and handed it to SSPCA but it bit hubby through reinforced gloves. No as you say it is only a squirrel, and squirrel are vermin after all.

    • 9 January, 2013 / 5:22 pm

      Too lazy to swim you see but determined enough to get through a glove…

  3. 8 January, 2013 / 12:52 pm

    What confuses me about this story is that when I used to work at an animal rescue centre if someone bought in a squirrel (usually baby ones they’d found in a nest in their loft) we weren’t allowed under law to release them as they are vermin. So they had to be put down. So why is it legal to rescue this one?

    • 9 January, 2013 / 5:21 pm

      It’s a good question – you’d think they would be happy to have one less pest to worry about!

  4. 8 January, 2013 / 5:59 pm

    And there was me wondering if ‘rescue a squirrel’ was a euphimism for… something else. (you can take the girl out of the convent…). Sorry. Lowering the tone, as usual.

    • 9 January, 2013 / 5:21 pm

      Haha! Potty Mummy? Potty mind more like… ;-)

  5. 9 January, 2013 / 4:01 am

    Squirrels are simply rats with fluffy tails. And they are nasty little buggers. Way back my parents had a squirrel infestation (I kid you not) and they had to relocate the little biters ;) Crows can be nasty too, but at least they are smart and interesting.

    • 9 January, 2013 / 5:20 pm

      Well quite. You wouldn’t catch a throng of firemen going out to rescue a rat would you?

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