Quite a lot it would seem, as illustrated by the three fire engines that gathered in Hertfordshire this week to rescue one squirrel from a river.
Now I love animals as much as the next person*, but seriously, is this really the best use of public funds? We are in a massive recession, cutting essential services left, right and centre, and yet we can afford to worry about one measly squirrel?
The squirrel was trapped on a small island in the middle of a river, and the firemen placed a ladder from the bank to the island and encouraged the squirrel to scurry back across. The idiotic animal managed to fall in even then, but eventually made it to safety.
Here’s the best bit though – squirrels can swim! It’s hard work for them though, so they don’t do it unless they really have to. So what we’re basically seeing here is three fire engines going out to rescue a lazy squirrel.
Over the least three years, fire brigades have spent over £3.5million resucing animals, including seven dolphins, a lost duckling and a snail. Yes you heard me. A snail. A ridiculous waste of money given that Belle actually operates her very own snail rescue service for only one pound per snail.**
I don’t want to sound heartless, but please can we stop bothering the emergency services with lazy squirrels? Unless of course it is one of my mind squirrels, in which case please send help immediately.
*who hates animals