I am the perfect woman. (I’m not boasting, it’s just an historical fact.)

If only I lived in 1912.

“This could have been you,” laughed Boyfriend this morning, reading the news on his phone, “you’ve got a massive bottom.”

He was reading a story in the Daily Mail about Elsie Scheel, the 24-year-old who in 1912 was officially declared ‘the most nearly perfect physical specimen of womanhood.’

Pear-shaped Elsie, who believed that other girls her age did ‘too much of the wrong sort of things, too many dances and not enough bracing tramps’, measured 35-30-40. She was a little taller and heavier than me, but proportions wise, it didn’t sound too far off. I do have a big bottom.

“I’m going to get the tape measure,” I said.

And what do you know, those are my exact measurements. Good childbearing hips and all that.

Elsie put her good health down to ‘common sense’ and ‘sane living. I have eaten only what I wanted and when I wanted it.’

A fine motto indeed.



  1. 22 December, 2012 / 11:55 pm

    I have always followed the ‘eat what you want, when you want it’ motto, and normally it works fine (I generally prefer healthy food to unhealthy). Unfortunately today it totally backfired and meant I had sugar biscuits for breakfast, chocolate gingerbread for lunch, cheese (x a million), sausage rolls, pretzels, mince pie and banoffee pie for dinner and half a packet of fudge as a late night snack. Not cool!

  2. 23 December, 2012 / 4:31 pm

    “I have eaten only what I wanted and when I wanted it.” Those sound like words to live by…especially this time of year!

  3. sue wilkinson
    23 December, 2012 / 5:15 pm

    Officially declared? By the government?

  4. 25 December, 2012 / 1:53 pm

    Hah, awesome! I am closer to being perfect now! :)

  5. 26 December, 2012 / 5:59 pm

    I want to eat cake and I want to eat it now. Hence my big bottom!

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