My invaluable advice for door to door salespeople

A few weeks ago I opened the door to someone trying to sell me electricity.

“Can I talk to the person you pays the bills please?” he said.

I was immediately on the defensive. Do I not look like the person who pays the bills? Do I look financially irresponsible? Is it that I’m a woman, and therefore inherently incompetent when it comes to managing money?

I took a breath, realising I was probably being a tad paranoid. At least it was better than a year or so ago when I was asked “Is your mum or dad in?”

“I pay the bills,” I replied, doing my best to look sensible and fiscally wise, “but I’m not interested in changing suppliers. I regularly compare energy prices online thank you.”

“But don’t you want to save money on your gas and electricity?” he asked me, clearly not about to be put off by that old chestnut.

“Yes,” I replied impatiently, “yes I do, which I why I use uSwitch.”

“I think if you give me a minute you’ll find I can save you hundreds of squillions of pounds and make your life more glamorous and arrange for Paul Rudd to be your postman…”

I don’t think he actually said that last bit, but by this point I had tuned out to be honest. I don’t have a problem with sales people in general. It’s a job, I understand that, it has to be done, but why don’t they bloody LISTEN? Yes, try once to persuade me if I give a vague ‘no’ and look easily manipulated, but when I’ve actually given evidence that I’m already getting it cheaper elsewhere, WHAT’S THE POINT?

Give up quick, go to the next door, don’t waste your time on a lost cause like me. Go for elderly women living alone, pretend you’ve just seen a burglar escaping over their back fence, do what you must, just leave me alone.

That’s my advice anyway. Now off you go. That’s right, take your foot out of the door, bye bye…




  1. 16 April, 2012 / 2:49 pm

    No word of a lie, my front door is bricked up from the inside and I’m happy to let those annoying people stand there knocking…

  2. 16 April, 2012 / 2:50 pm

    I, by contrast, would be thrilled to be asked if my mum or dad was in…. Am with you on the rest though.. :)

  3. ethicalcompanies
    16 April, 2012 / 3:00 pm

    Who is Paul Rudd?

    • 16 April, 2012 / 3:05 pm

      He is an actor – he plays lots of comedy characters, which make me quite want to have him as my best friend/cheery postman.

  4. 16 April, 2012 / 3:26 pm

    I find it so hard to think up pithy and effective brush offs on the spur of the moment.
    Also have had the “is your mum and dad in” one. Embarrassing as both times was over 40 so now have a complex about my voice!

    To get rid of phone cold callers just say you live in a “conservation area”. That usually does the trick.

  5. 16 April, 2012 / 4:27 pm

    I once had to get a dictionary out for a tramp to prove that he (as he insisted he was a tinker) was the same thing as a hawker and my “no hawkers or circulars” sign did apply to him.

    The other good thing about my sign is that I am able to tell charity muggers that if they had learnt to read they could have got a proper job

  6. 16 April, 2012 / 6:44 pm

    Door to door electricity salesmen…hmmm…I’ve never heard of such a think. I would have probably been snarkier with him. “No, I’m not interested. I’ve given up electricity, as I think it is just a passing fad.”

  7. 16 April, 2012 / 6:45 pm

    I meant “thing” not “think”. Proofreading is the bane of my existence.

  8. 16 April, 2012 / 7:35 pm

    I love Paul Rudd, I wish he was my postman.

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