The one where Belle gives me a crystal massage

Yesterday I had the pleasure of being given a crystal massage by Belle. She has always liked collecting crystals, but recently she bought a book about them in the St Margaret’s Hospice shop and now she is all about the chakras.

She had her friend from Number 2 round to help and I must admit to being a little anxious as they made me lie on the floor on the special ‘massage rug’. A lot of her stones are quite scratchy and I wasn’t sure exactly what the massaging would entail.

Fortunately there was to be no rubbing involved, as Belle explained. “We’re going to place each crystal carefully on different parts of your body,” she told me, “so close your eyes.”

I did as I was told, and tried to ignore the draft coming from under the door, which wasn’t exactly adding to the whole relaxed vibe. “Just put them anywhere,” I heard Belle whisper to her friend. Scientific stuff obviously.

“How do you feel then?” Belle asked, when she’d balanced the last stone on my chin. “Are you relaxed?”

“Oh yes, very,” I assured her, as her friend tripped over one of my feet and several crystals rolled off my thigh and onto the floor.

“OK, well just lie there with your eyes closed until I say time’s up,” I was instructed. “It’s meant to last for five minutes, but we don’t have a watch, so we’ll just guess how long we think that is.”

Fair enough.

Thirty seconds in…

“Are you relaxed?”

“Yes thank you!”

Another minute…

“Still relaxed?”


Another minute…

“Are you feeling relaxed still?”

“Yes,” I said, “although I might feel more relaxed if you didn’t keep asking me how relaxed I am.”

Another minute…

“Time’s up!” they screeched, causing me to flinch and knock the rose quartz off my forehead. “Did you enjoy it?”

“Yes thank you,” I said, “very much.”

“Good! Now you just have to drink a bottle of this crystal water we made”…



  1. 11 January, 2012 / 11:41 am

    Ha ha ha ha! Love it. As always, your daughter’s antics have been a much needed source of giggles, thank you :)

      • 12 January, 2012 / 2:44 pm

        I picture it as more of a deep, manly chuckle.

    • 12 January, 2012 / 2:44 pm

      She IS funny. Unintentionally of coure. Bless her…

  2. 11 January, 2012 / 8:09 pm

    Daughter? That makes more sense. Bless kids and their little role-playing situations they concoct.

    • 12 January, 2012 / 2:45 pm

      Yes! Both her at her massage assistant are only nine, so she tried her best :-)

  3. Ally
    12 January, 2012 / 8:41 am

    Hi, have you or your friend heard of joya massages? they use crystals but in a nice holder so you can roll them over your body easily. pretty cool and you really get results quiet quickly. I guess you find it when you google it.

    • 12 January, 2012 / 2:45 pm

      That sounds like a much more sensible idea!

  4. Ally
    12 January, 2012 / 8:43 am

    Oh sorry, just realised it was your daughter, not friend.

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