This morning a Boden catalogue arrived in the post.
Before I knew what was happening, I was idly flicking through it.
‘That dress is nice,’ I thought to myself, stopping on a page with a wholesome looking woman happily riding an old fashioned bike along a cobble street, ‘and looks like really good quality.’
I didn’t ask for the Boden catalogue, I don’t know how they found me, but this is clearly the beginning of the end. How long now before I’m wearing Hunter wellies for the school run and hankering after a Cath Kidston tea towel set?
The inevitable slide from slummy to yummy, triggered by my move into what has turned out to be the ‘I want to be alternative but actually I shop at Boden’ capital of Bristol, has been further reinforced by our recent purchase of a Brabantia bin.
I blame New Boyfriend, and my irrepressible urge to indulge his love of shiny kitchen equipment.
Never in my life before have I spent more than about six pounds on a bin. “Did that bin come with the house?” my sister’s boyfriend asked, astonished, on their first visit, clearly unable to believe I would have paid actual money for it.
Part of me wants to embrace it, to let myself go to the call of the Yummy Mummies and good quality kitchen equipment. At least then I could have a glass of wine at 4pm everyday. My understanding is that when you’re a Yummy Mummy it’s an accepted part of the childcare routine. As opposed to when you’re poor, when it’s just alcoholism.
A little while before the monumental bin purchase, Brabantia sent me some bits and bobs to try out from their Get Together range, including what is possibly the most glamorous looking cake slice I have ever seen. It comes in its own velvet lined box.
I want to mock it, but I can’t. It’s just so nice. I’ve put the shiny metal mixing bowls in one of my glass fronted kitchen cupboards so everyone can see.
What has become of me?
Perhaps I need to move again. Just a little bit. Just down to the end of the road where the Tesco riots were, to keep my slummy edge.
Or maybe I’ll just get the Boden catalogue out of the recycling and have another look at that dress…