Teenage pregnancies, Colin Firth and the mystery of the anal probe

Welcome to my 100th post!

*Noise of small brass band playing a fanfare*

I honestly can’t believe I have made it. I have such a short attention span that when I started blogging in December I honestly thought the novelty would wear off it about, ooh, a week? But do you know what has kept me going? Other of course than it being a fantastic procrastination tool (I can’t possibly start that very important piece of work now, can’t you see I’m blogging?).

It’s you! When I first started, I had never even read a blog, and I never imagined other people would be interested in what I had to say, let alone be inspired to say something back.

And now look at me. I am a hopeless addict. Every time someone comments, the attention seeking, praise driven me gives a little cheer ‘Look! They like me!’

So what with this being a moment for reflection and all, I’ve been having a look back through some of the posts I’ve written. It’s fascinating to see how people get here, which posts they like, which they don’t.

I do get a fair bit of search engine traffic for instance from people googling phrases like ‘dirty mummy’ and I always feel a bit bad – I must be rather a disappointment if you’d be hoping to find some sort of lonely housewife porn. It’s the same with Colin Firth – the most popular search term after my blog name. You google Colin and you get me wittering on about eating bagels. You don’t even get a Colin Firth picture, you just get a photo of a bagel! What a swizz.


Sometimes people have googled such random phrases that I wonder how they ever got to me at all – like ‘mummy anal prob’. Nuff said.

The most read post by far (three times as many views as any other) is my teenage birth story. I was 17 when I gave birth to Bee – I used the word ‘lush’ for heaven’s sake – and I didn’t have a clue. Despite that though, it was one of the best things to ever happen to me. I was ridiculously laid back about the whole thing, believed myself to be totally competent, and as a result, I was. The power of positive thinking in action.

My favourite post though is one I wrote very recently about being stuck in a well. (It’s a metaphor Steve…). It’s very easy on a blog, for me anyway, to become stuck in your own little bubble. You write about funny anecdotes within your own family, you blather on about whatever pops into your head, and you don’t for a second think about it having any relevance outside your four walls. And most of the time it doesn’t – it’s nice to entertain people of course, and to think you can make someone laugh, but normally it doesn’t go further than that.

With the well post though, I felt like I made a difference. That sounds terribly arrogant, and I’m not saying I changed the world, but maybe I just touched a few people, prompted a subtle shift in the way they saw their own situation, that could be the start of something. I had some really fantastic comments and emails on the back of that post. It made me feel useful, and made me think perhaps my own stay in the well hadn’t been such a waste of time after all.

So there you go. 100 posts. That’s surely a book? (Publishers who are reading this – I am absolutely up for a book, and will happily divulge as much personal information as is required.)

Seriously though, thank you. Thank you for reading and thank you for talking to me. Thank you for not scoffing and laughing in my face at the ludicrousness of my thinking I can possibly write something that other people will want to read.




  1. 8 July, 2010 / 6:31 am

    You’re welcome. I think your blog is tops. x

  2. 8 July, 2010 / 6:55 am

    You’re blog is definitely one of my favourites. Would like to read more of your fiction – you seem to have a knack for it.

    I am 5 away from 100…when I hit 100 there is going to be a BIG party with cocktail sausages and Pringles…I know a famous DJ, maybe he could spin some discs…

    • 8 July, 2010 / 7:46 pm

      Oooh! Will there be egg sandwiches? Every good party needs egg sandwiches. It’s the law. (Honest).

  3. Beth
    8 July, 2010 / 7:07 am

    The well post definately made a difference – no doubting that. The prince didn’t have a clue where I got this renewed assertiveness from – being true to form though he said something along the lines of ‘you’re over-reacting’. Not anymore.

    • 8 July, 2010 / 7:47 pm

      Excellent news! You could start retorting with cryptic comments about wells and then he’ll properly think you’ve lost all rational thought…

  4. the dotterel
    8 July, 2010 / 7:36 am

    Might take you up on that offer sometime…. the book, I mean. Well, and anything else that takes your fancy. Happy 100th! (Do you get a telegram from the Queen, aka Tara Cain?)

    • 8 July, 2010 / 7:49 pm

      Ooooh! Pick me! Pick me! I’d love to write a book. I did write 30,000 words of a murder mystery last November for NanoWrimo but had to give up due to lack of plot…

  5. 8 July, 2010 / 8:14 am

    Happy 100th! I hope my blog is just a fraction as amusing as yours when it grows up.

    • 8 July, 2010 / 7:50 pm

      Aaah! Thanks – I do still think of my blog as a baby, it is only just over six months old after all. I’m thinking of starting weaning soon.

  6. 8 July, 2010 / 8:36 am

    Happy 100th! You’re very easy to read, Jo. I love your writing :)

  7. 8 July, 2010 / 9:26 am

    Congrats on 100! I look forward to the next 100.

    • 8 July, 2010 / 7:50 pm

      Thank you too! (I really should think up more interesting things to say…)

  8. Alison P
    8 July, 2010 / 12:19 pm

    I’ve only just found your blog (and I can’t remember how, which sums me up really) but well done on your 100th :)

    • 8 July, 2010 / 7:52 pm

      I’m sure it was on some kind of list – maybe ‘top three funniest and most inspiring blogs in the whole wide world’?

      • Alison P
        9 July, 2010 / 11:24 am

        That was it!!!! ;)

  9. 8 July, 2010 / 12:54 pm

    Well done on your 100th sweetheart – I can’t wait for the next 100 :)

    • 8 July, 2010 / 7:53 pm

      Thanks love, I hope I can keep going! I reckon 500 should be my next landmark – sometime in 2012 maybe? (good grief, that seems a long way away).

  10. 8 July, 2010 / 8:55 pm

    I totally love your blog and I have only been reading it for three days. I also love that I met you in person and found you just as funny and cool as your writing. Well done on 100!

    • 9 July, 2010 / 6:24 am

      That’s the kind of comment I love – heaar that everyone? I am just as funny and cool in person. Fact.

  11. 8 July, 2010 / 9:32 pm

    One would very much like to pass on ones congratulations to slummysinglemummy on achieving ones 100th post. Certainly cheers one up after a busy day waving and sipping tea. Do pop in for a cup next time you are passing the Palace. Yours, HRH

    • 9 July, 2010 / 6:25 am


      Thank you your highness, much appreciated. I am partial to the odd cucumber sandwich so I may just take you up on that.

  12. nepe
    8 July, 2010 / 9:42 pm

    Happy 100th blog post!!

    Just read your teenage birth story – loved it!! I’m a midwife and it was very interesting to hear the other side… especially liked the bit about refusing to do what the midwife told you do (for your own safety!)…. you’ll be pleased to know that many women since have followed in your footsteps and ignored the midwife!

    Look forward to reading more!

    • 9 July, 2010 / 6:25 am

      Not doing what the midwife told me felt INCREDIBLY naughty at the time. I was so used to being in school and wanting to please the teachers!

  13. sandra
    9 July, 2010 / 12:09 am

    You’ll be happy to know inclusion of the name “Colin Firth” meant this post popped up on Google Alerts. Thanks for the loooooovely picture. :D

    • 9 July, 2010 / 6:26 am

      I love that you have a google alert for Colin Firth! It is a gorgeous picture isn’t it? Yum yum.
      I may have to start using the names of attractive celebs in all my titles!

      • sandra
        10 July, 2010 / 2:21 am

        *giggle* Sort of sad, when you think of it, but hey, I adore the man. :D

        Congrats on the 100th post, since I failed to say so before!

        • 10 July, 2010 / 6:31 am

          lol – I think it’s fine. Just think, before the internet you’d have had to sit outside his house and go through his bins. This is far more civilised :-)

  14. 9 July, 2010 / 2:46 am

    That is a very fine pic of Mr Firth! Thanks, and congrats on 100 posts!

    • 9 July, 2010 / 6:27 am

      I keep telling the children I want him to be their new daddy :-)

  15. 9 July, 2010 / 3:06 pm

    Hearty congratulations on your 100th post! Our top search phrase is, and has been for AGES, chocolate fridge cake. I really don’t know why we bother with all the businessy stuff!!

    • 9 July, 2010 / 9:08 pm

      Hmmm…. I could quite fancy some chocolate fridge cake right now. And the moment I’m resisting the urge to eat the creme egg I found on Belle’s floor earlier :-)

  16. 9 July, 2010 / 7:46 pm

    I love your style of writing its easy to read and keeps me gripped!

    • 15 July, 2010 / 12:50 pm

      My pleasure! Have you watched St Trinians 2? I watched it last week, he is yummy in it. (Apart from the bits where he is being a drunken tramp).

  17. 16 July, 2010 / 10:29 am

    I don’t really want to fancy Colin Firth. I’m afraid that he’s just a hair’s breadth away from turning into a darkhaired version of Michael Ball. But I just can’t help it.

    • 16 July, 2010 / 5:40 pm


      You DON’T fancy Colin Firth?? I thought it was just a fact of life that everyone did??


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