I’ve often suspected that I don’t have quite the authority as a parent that I’d like. Partly I think it’s an age thing. I was only 16 when I was pregnant with Bee, and I’ve always looked younger than I am. Maybe my children would have more respect for me if I was older and sterner, perhaps with a large bushy beard – how can you not respect someone with a beard?
Given though that I have hardly any hair on my head, and only have to shave my legs about once a month, a beard is probably not on the cards.
Mostly though it is probably my own fault. I do tend to act like a child. (I know my impeccable behaviour at Cybermummy makes this hard to believe, but you’ll just have to take my word for it). I spend all my money on sweets and stationary, get drunk, often laugh at Wizards of Waverley Place. Really not very mature at all.
“It’s funny,” Bee said to me a while ago, “I don’t really think of you as the mummy, I just thought you were in charge because you were the tallest.”
I had my status as Much Respected Mother Type Figure further questioned by Belle yesterday. She’d been ransacking the Cybermummy goodie bags and was rather taken with the baby feeding bottle. Once she’d eaten all the sweets from inside she made me fill it with milk so she could pretend to be a baby.
As I handed her the full bottle she looked up at me fondly and said “do you feel like a mother now?”
I had to explain that actually I already was a mother. She had the decency to look sufficiently guilty about her blunder, but still, you have to wonder what she thought I had been doing there all that time.
So, back to my title – ‘How to command respect from your children’. I’m afraid I haven’t really been much help on that front. I could offer some suggestions of what not to do – don’t let them see you for instance hungover with last night’s sick in your hair (a valuable lesson though in the dangers of binge drinking) – but otherwise all advice would be gratefully received!