We’re going on a bear hunt…

Kids. Don’t you just love ’em?

On a good day they’ll say the sweetest things, shower you in kisses and bring you glasses of water if you’re feeling hungover. But just like the girl with the curl, when they are bad, they are horrid. In the heat of a temper Belle will say the most outrageous things – that I can handle – but often they will say or do things that are just thoughtless or uncaring, things that when you hear them over and over can be a bit of a dent to your self-esteem.

One morning last week for instance Bee was in my room, trying her best to make her hair look as neglected as possible. Eventually she flung the brush down in despair, a look of thunder on her face – she was clearly not getting the back combed height she was striving for.

“Arrrggghhh!” she groaned, and turned to me accusingly, “my hair is FLAT. Can’t you just go away, the flatness of your hair is dragging mine down.”

Charming.

After presenting me with such a beautiful love note last week, Belle obviously felt the need to redress the balance. I was chatting to a friend in the kitchen on Sunday morning when she came in smiling, with a piece of paper behind her back.

“You look very pleased with yourself,” I said. “Have you drawn a lovely picture?”

She nodded, but there was a sparkle in her eyes.

“Have you drawn a naughty picture?”

Her smile widened and she nodded again. She took the picture from behind her back and laid it on the table, giggling.

“That’s a bear,” she said, “that’s me laughing, and that’s you crying with your foot in a bear trap.”

Lovely. With kids like these, who needs enemies…

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18 Comments

  1. 24 May, 2010 / 8:49 am

    I love the flat hair – how great was that!

    Bear trap, well not so great I guess

    • 24 May, 2010 / 8:51 am

      Lol, Bee is such an ego boost – she’s always saying helpful things like ‘ergh, I can see your scalp…’

  2. 24 May, 2010 / 9:43 am

    Quality!

    She is obviously a comedienne in waiting.

    After we had a baked Vacherin one day (if you haven’t had this cheesy pleasure then you will die unfulfilled, and ultimately sad) I was lying in bed with my son telling him a brain story and he said to me: ‘daddy, your breath smells like the bin.’ Charming.

    Yesterday we were inviting to lunch in’t mountains at a chalet and the dad – who is a really lovely bloke – when to ‘drop some friends off at the pool’ and my son went in afterwards and declared that he didn’t like this man anymore because he smelt like ‘dead dinosaur poo.’

    Fabreze anyone?

    • 24 May, 2010 / 8:22 pm

      Hahaha! They don’t mince their words do they? Belle also likes to poke bits of me to test for wobbliness.

  3. 24 May, 2010 / 1:46 pm

    Well it’s a lovely drawing! Even if the idea isn’t quite so amusing!!!

    CJ xx

    • 24 May, 2010 / 8:22 pm

      Yes, I guess I have to give her marks for artistic ability :-)

  4. 24 May, 2010 / 2:51 pm

    The beauty of a blog is that it allows you to record the memories or your children’s younger days, so that when they are older, you can reference it, and embarrass them in front of their friends.

    Your day will come. :-)

    • 24 May, 2010 / 8:24 pm

      I know, this internet nonsense is going to add a whole new dimension to that kind of embarrassment isn’t it? All my mum has to hold against me are a few photos of me with a dodgy perm – my girls are going to have a whole written and illustrated history!

      • 24 May, 2010 / 10:45 pm

        I look forward to the day of reckoning when you put together the really embarrassing montage for their high school graduation party. That will be a great post indeed.

        Until then, I am sure they will provide you with all sorts of delightful anecdotes.

  5. lavenderjack
    24 May, 2010 / 6:32 pm

    I agree with Brian – the time will come when they’ll suddenly understand you! My daughters are now 21 and 18 and my best friends, but all I can say is that sometimes I was glad I live in England rather than America where guns are legal!

    My eldest did go through a stage though where I wasn’t ‘allowed’ to walk with her in case her friends saw us together. I got revenge by making friends with her friends, who all thought I was a cool mum, much to her embarrassment.

    My daughters are the opposite and despite having naturally wavy hair they straighten it to within an inch of its life and couldn’t possibly be seen in public with ‘unruly’ hair!

    Like the blog, by the way. I’m in Highbridge!

    • 24 May, 2010 / 8:26 pm

      You’re right , I know, but it is so hard sometimes. This morning I felt really sad wondering if Bee really understands me at all. I just have to remember teenagers have inferior brains or something don’t they, so I have to forgive her…

      Highbridge eh? Do you like it? I’m afraid to admit that we console ourselves about living in Bridgwater by saying ‘oh well, it could be worse, it could be Highbridge…’ Sorry!!

  6. 24 May, 2010 / 8:38 pm

    Bear trap?! ‘Ha Ha’?! That’s brutal. I like that she sort of knew it was a bit sneaky and had it hidden behind her back though.

  7. lavenderjack
    24 May, 2010 / 10:26 pm

    Ha, I grew up in Bridgwater but moved out when I got married, and fortunately Highbridge is only my postal address as I live in the countryside between Bridgwater and Highbridge. I can’t stand Highbridge, to be honest – it’s like a ghost town and getting worse by the day. In my opinion its only redeeming feature is Asda, which is kind of sad.

    Hopefully there’ll come a day when Bee realises that everything you’ve done is for her and her sister. I know it was a glorious moment when the penny dropped with my eldest. She actually admitted that at the time she thought I was doing stuff ‘just to annoy her’ and to be spiteful, but now she realises why she couldn’t have everything her own way.

  8. 25 May, 2010 / 9:48 am

    My eldest son likes to say, “Where’s clever?” in an exagerated Welsh accent whenever I forget or lose anything. It makes me want to slap him.

    • 25 May, 2010 / 3:09 pm

      I’m glad I’m not the only one who sometimes feel an urge to slap their kids for being annoying :-)

  9. 17 June, 2010 / 3:09 pm

    I will have to agree, kids are wonderful. They are sweet and caring one minute and then the next, I just want to get away fromt them. Then again I think my kids just have my attitude so who can blame them. :)

    • 18 June, 2010 / 10:48 am

      That’s the problem isn’t it – you feel like you only have yourself to blame!

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