Thank you all so much for your fab suggestions for my online dating profile – I loved them all and was very impressed by how well you clearly know me already!
On Thursday evening I sat down to compile all the comments into a profile, picked a handful of the most appealing/chesty photos I could find, and officially ‘went live’. I feel a bit like a fridge on special offer in Comet now, but am trying to think of it as a sophisticated PR exercise, rather than a blatant selling of my soul.
Since Thursday evening I’ve had emails from six men – a mixture already of funny, sweet and downright odd. I haven’t got as far as actually taking out a paid subscription, so haven’t replied to any yet, but it’s giving me time to think about them and decide on my next move.
My main dilemma is just how open-minded am I supposed to stay at this stage? I dislike the way online dating makes me judge people, and I feel particularly shallow making assumptions based on pictures, but what else do I have to go on? Knowing that a man is looking for ‘a woman as comfortable in a pair of high heels as hiking boots’ doesn’t tell me much, and surely everyone likes a ‘cold beer in the sunshine’? I know I should remember that attraction can grow over time, and that I need to keep my options open, but I do feel I should discriminate in some way.
One thing I really can’t keep an open mind about is sloppy grammar. I know we all make mistakes sometimes, and I’m prepared to let a man off the occasional there/their mix up, but what I can’t stand is when someone clearly hasn’t made an effort at all to even read their message back before sending it. It is a first email after all, surely you do everything you can to make a good first impression? I can’t help but think that a lack of care at this stage does not bode well for the future.
One email I’ve had so far begins as follows:
“It is great too find someone with a ‘portfolio career’… It is the onlyy way to go in this modern society.”
Is it petty that the misuse of ‘too’ and the poorly spelt ‘onlyy’ leapt out at me like a group of rugby players at a screening of Sing-along Mamma Mia?
Another thing I hate is the small i. Why?? Why?? ‘Just wanted to say i really loved your profile!’ Aggghhhh!
I had a message today that said:
“i bet you are lovely!”
Well yes, I am lovely, but that’s hardly the point. That i was at the beginning of the sentence and it still didn’t get capitalised?? And…and…that one line was the full message! That was it. What am I supposed to say to that, even if I wanted to reply? What was this man thinking? How many seconds of effort went into penning that eloquent missive? About seven I reckon.
I did get briefly excited yesterday morning when hotmail announced I had a new ‘fan’ – a rather dashing looking author who had added me as a favourite. Hoorah! I returned the compliment and waiting expectantly for a message. Nothing. I check backed a few hour later to find he had changed his mind already, and wasn’t even a fan anymore! What went wrong there then? Oh dear.
So, 48 hours in and I’m really trying not to be cynical, but I can’t help but be slightly concerned about the quality of man I am attracting, and the general low standards of literacy. I’m going to stay positive though – I know I’ll have to trawl through a lot of poor spelling and text speak before I find Mr Right.
And in the meantime, i wll jst have 2 keep lookin’.