As regular readers may know, I was a teenage mum. Pregnant at 16, I gave birth to Bee a few months after my seventeenth birthday. And I got a degree and everything. Honestly, who’d have thought it?
Today, to prove that yes, there is more than one teenager in the UK who has managed to have a baby and not end up leaving school and relying on Jeremy Kyle as her sole source of income, I have a guest post from a young mummy called Elle. Her story is pretty shocking, but incredibly moving. When I first read it I actually cried, which was a bit awkward as I was in a cafe at the time, but it bought back such powerful memories for me, and made me so proud, even though we’ve never met. It was all a bit overwhelming.
Please make Elle very welcome, and go check out her blog, Tales of a Young Mummy, if you want to read more teenage mum stories. We’re not all bad you know.
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I’m seventeen. Just over a year ago I found out that I was pregnant. 33 weeks pregnant. This, of course, came as a shock. I didn’t know what to do, where to go. If it wasn’t for the support of my lovely form tutor at school I’m not sure what I would have done.
I suppose my story begins within the innocence of a Triple Science lesson. My form tutor knocked on the classroom door, “Come in!” my science teacher called.
“Can I have a quick word with Elle?” She asked, “Grab your stuff El and follow me”. So I did as I was told and totted off behind her. A few moments later I found myself being offered a chair in the company of the student services ladies.
“Elle, there’s no easy way of saying this, but we’re worried. You’re meant to be flying to America next month, but we’re concerned you won’t be able to go…”
“What? Of course I can fly…” I was confused, the following month I was supposed to be going to Florida with my boyfriend and his family. Why did these ladies think I wouldn’t be able to go?
“Elle, we think you’re pregnant.” Of course, in that situation I didn’t know what to say. So I said the obvious: “How?” I didn’t mean how did I get pregnant!
After they explained to me that they had seen me gain a bit of weight and had noticed that my boobs had grown I was still confused and wondered how they were so confident that meant I was pregnant? One of them was trying for a baby herself and had been reading all the baby books.
So now that was cleared up in my mind, what was I to do? My form tutor made me call Tyler, my boyfriend, who was on home study that afternoon. I met him and we walked into town to Superdrug. We were overwhelmed by the amount of pregnancy tests on the shelves – which should we chose?
Sat on the edge of the bath, wondering what the hell I was meant to do with this stick in my hand was the weirdest feeling I’ve ever experienced. I can’t explain it. I did the test. Within seconds, I didn’t even get a chance to get up off the toilet, the colours changed. It was true. I was pregnant. “Tyler, look.”
“But it’s not 5 minutes yet…SHIT” I wasn’t ready to be a mum.
The next 3 weeks are a blur in my mind. So much happened. Went to doctors, I was told 20 weeks pregnant. Went for scan, I was told 33 weeks pregnant.
3 weeks later, at 36 weeks gestation, I was sat in a labour suite at 4am. At first I was told I wasn’t in labour. Just as water was being run for the birthing pool the midwife asked if she could just check if I was dilated. I didn’t much like the sound of that! Minutes later, my waters had broken and I was pushing. By 6.20am I was laid with my beautiful baby girl in my arms. Willow Lillah Beere, weighing 7lb 2oz.
A year later and we’ve been through a lot. We’ve spent a total of about 2 weeks in the children’s ward at our local hospital. Willow has had whooping cough, bronchiolitis 3 times, a swollen abdomen which was thought to be a gluten intolerance, a burnt hand and a perforated ear drum. The list is never-ending, but she’s as beautiful as ever.
I went back to school when Willow was 3 weeks old to study for my exams. I sat all of them, except for drama as Willow was in hospital with whooping cough!
I came out of my GCSE’s with 5 A grades and 4 B’s. So anyone that assumes all teen mums are useless might want to think again. We’re not all like that you know!
I now studying for my A-levels. It is hard with a one year old to look after as well, but I’ll get through it. I want to build the best future I can for myself and Willow. And yes, I am still with Tyler. He’s been through everything with us the past year, he’s been my rock. Well, my Mum has too, I’m still living at home with her, and I’m so grateful for that. Without my parents and Tyler around I wouldn’t be coping anywhere near as well.
I have a huge support network around me, and I am so thankful for everyone. I wouldn’t be where I am today, on my way to success, without my family.
Tyler is working full-time as an accountant and gave uni a miss so he could be at home to look after his daughter, and work to provide for her. He doesn’t live with us, but he does live just down the road so we do get to see him every day, and he gets to see his beautiful little Willow.
We have our first family holiday coming up in July, and oh I’m so excited! It’s only to Butlins, but we get to spend the whole weekend together!
Much love,
Young Mummy xxx
Inspiring story and great to see that it isn’t always sterotyping – well done Elle and congratulations on your beautiful daughter.
Thank you, I hate the stereotype. No, my daughter wasn’t planned, but that sure doesn’t mean I love her any less than children that are specifically planned.
Yes that is so true so well done – my son wasn’t planned and I was 32! xxx
What a great story, breaking that stereotype. My mum was a teen mum and I think she did just fine xx
Just because you’re a teen doesn’t mean you can’t be a good mum :)
What a story! glad to see that you are challenging the typical stereotype, love the pics of baby Willow and we are all off on a first proper family holiday to Butlins in July also!! Can’t wait!
I do love challenging what people think! We’ve been away before, we went to Centre Parcs in October, but it was with Tyler’s family as well, so not a proper family holiday lol. I really can’t wait! So excited!
Fantastic, it’s really great to get the good news stories out there, to counteract all the negative ones. Well done Elle, and good luck with your A-levels!
Yup! You never hear anything good about teen mums. I’ve been watching Teen Mom and 16 and Pregnant lately, some of the stories are just so upsetting!
Thank you, and I’m trying my very hardest with the A-Levels!
What a shocker! I hope your parents were supportive. It’s like your biggest nightmare, but much kudos to you for making it work and loving your beautiful little angel who flew into your life without so much as an invitation! Capture every single moment and write it all down for her.
Helen, Founder of http://www.saveeverystep.com
Just a bit of a shock, yeah! My parents have been brilliant, so have Tyler’s parents. As I said in the post, my Mum is my rock. As much as I may say that I ‘hate’ her, or she annoys me, she’s my Mum, and without her I would be in a much more difficult situation right now. I LOVE MY MUM! :D
I’m in the middle of making a ‘journal’ I guess, at the moment in which I will record everything for my little angel. I was also given a fab little book for memories, it is lovely and will be one of the many sentimental gifts she receives on her eighteenth.
Good for you. Check out http://www.SaveEveryStep.com too!!! (I’m the Founder BTW….)
Great story. Strong people who take the challenges in life and face them head on, inspire me. You, Willow and Tyler are awesome.
Thank you :)
Something I have discovered over the past year, is that the more I challenge myself, then the more i achieve. That was the main point for starting my blog, to challenge myself.
Elle, we’re all so proud of you, you’re an amazing mum and an inspiration to many people. Well done sweetheart, we just know you will go far, and that Willow will want for nothing. Melongos x x
This is such a lovely heartwarming story and it’s really nice to see that teenage mums (obviously) aren’t all your typical Jeremy Kyle residents.
Becoming a mom at a young age is admirable, i think we (moms) can all agree it’s NOT an easy ride..! Esp. juggling studies along side deserves true kudos!
By the way, I think Tyler has done the right thing and I’m sure he will naturally progress in his career very quickly without university just fine.
Congrats to you both, she looks lovely!
Michelle x
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http://www.keungzai.com
The online maternity boutique
Congratulations on becoming a new mum…I think sometimes people are so busy ‘stereotyping’ teen mums with a tar brush that they forget that you’ve still experienced the same physical and emotional pressures of pregnancy and labour as any other new mother.
There’s a long road ahead and I’m so glad that you and your partner have such a great support network of family with you – it’s invaluable.
Good luck with your future studies as well…I was also a teen mum and it’s very challenging to combine new motherhood and study/exams/life decisions, but I know first-hand that it’s achievable especially with the support that you have…Take care.
Crikey- I can’t imagine what it would be like to find out you were pregnant then give birth three weeks later: talk about a baptism of fire, never mind your age. You sound amazingly confident and together and so utterly in love with your little girl. I rather envy you!! Great post, and good luck with your exams. Those teenage mums on MTV coukld learn a lot from you, I think!
Inspiring, Elle! And a serious well done for all you are striving to do as a young mummy. Not to mention what an awesome role model you will be to Willow in the years to come.
Just to say again – thank you so much to Elle for sharing this, and to everyone for leaving such lovely comments :-)
Thank you Jo for posting it and asking me to write a guest post in the first place.
Its been lovely to have so many lovely comments.
Unfortunately Willow is in hospital at the moment, so blogging isn’t top of my priorities.
Thanks again!
I was also a Teen Mom. Got married when I was 17 and then became pregnant shortly after. I too was told I wouldnt be able to do it. The marriage would fail I would never graduate. Well I graduated with Straight A’s and My husband and I are celebrating our 11th wedding anniversary This saturday. So dont ever let someone tell you that you cant do it. It is a struggle but anyone who really wants to make it can.
Hooray! Good for you Shannon. It’s great to know there are women out there bucking the trends and challenging stereotypes. Here’s to another 11 happy years :-)
Just found your blog yesterday – I love it, and I love this post! I’m a young single mum. I discovered I was pregnant when I was 18, I finished college and then I had my son when I was 19. I became a single mum when I was 20 and I will be finishing my degree in Microbiology next summer and I’m on track to get a First. If anything, being a young single mum has made me so determined to get a good degree classification and to hopefully get a good job. It has been hard juggling studying and having a toddler, but I wouldn’t change it for the world. There are so many young single mums out there that try their hardest and are far from the stereotype often depicted of teenage mothers. I’m so proud of myself for my achievements so far and I think all mothers should be, regardless of their circumstances.
beth here from a survival guid of a teenage mother. Elle you sound like i wonderful person, and a fantastic mummy. heres to bucking the trend of teenage mothers in tracky bottoms wondering eternally through a land of tracky bums, day time tv and screaming children. i had a goegeous baby boy when i was 18, he is now two, and i am two years into my degree in psychology with the goal of becoming a teacher. Kate like you i think it has made me even more determined to reach my goals. anybody intested in more on this topic should check out my blog. love and luck to all xox
Aww Ellie really well done such an inspiring stirs and you seam like an amazing Mum you are very brave and an inspiration it’d so good 2 hear you are doing all you can for you beaitful daughter it shoes all mothers out there of all ages ESP teen Mums that anything is possbile and you can still b a wonderful Mum and still privies for your family and loved ines you are a star I’m 27 but I have respect for all parents out the who try their very best and no matter what chanlbge they face they come out if it the other side much stronger really well done sweetheart Xxx
I think that people should stop having kids at a young age when they is steel in school and got a life and don’t have a job…..
Well done Elle, it sounds like you are a doing a fantastic job xx