It is a few weeks ago now that I confessed to some of my most secret habits, including occasional hiding of dirty dishes in cupboards, so I thought it was time to justify my Slummy Mummy status by revealing some more of my slummiest habits.
I love reading other people’s confessions. There is something fascinating and comforting about reading other people secrets – the blog equivalent of reading Heat magazine. Just when you are feeling inadequate and lonely, you read that other women feel the same, that even celebrities sometimes go out with chipped nail varnish, and suddenly the world feels like a better place.
I felt particularly vindicated today reading confessions from Ella at Most/Least - what a relief to read I’m not the only mother who sometimes prefers writing about her children to actually having to speak to them…
Today though, I want to focus on housework. I know… GROAN…. who enjoys housework? Well not me. Of all the responsibilities in my life – being a single parent, holding down a variety of jobs, not to mention a nice selection of voluntary roles, housework really is my lowest priority. In fact, I suspect I became a school governor just as an excuse not to clean the toilet. So when my juggling gets tricky, the first ball to crash to the floor is always the cleaning one.
There are some forms of household chores I enjoy. Arranging my books in colour order for instance is always a pleasant way to pass an afternoon, especially if I have a particularly pressing deadline that I am trying to avoid. I’m not sure that tasks like sorting my make-up into pretty boxes really count as housework though…
So if you are looking to save time and effort around the house, here are my top five tips. Those with a fetish for cleanliness or who are easily disturbed should switch back to facebook now:
1. Crumbs – they get everywhere don’t they? My house is always full of bits. Sometimes I feel motivated enough to pick some of them off the floor (I don’t have a Hoover) but then what to do with them? The kitchen is too far away, I have yet to install a bin in the living room. So when you’re pressed for time, throw your crumbs behind the sofa.
2. Children’s toys – again, they get everywhere. And Belle gets as much fun out of a toilet roll or a piece of cling film as anything else. When the toys threaten to overwhelm you and you can’t be bothered fighting to get the kids to tidy them up, just collect them all up off the floor in a black bag and take them to Oxfam. It will make them appreciate what they have left. Honest.
3. Dishes – now we know I sometimes hide them, but this is obviously only a temporary solution. My least favourite dishes are the ones my teen brings down at intervals from her bedroom – cereal bowls encrusted with fossilised coco-pops, mugs stiff with mould. What to do? Just put them in the bin. Really. Out of sight and all that…
4. Baths – yuk yuk yuk. I particularly dislike cleaning that involves getting my hands wet. If you can’t face all that bending and stretching but need to scrub the tub, children’s bath time are ideal. While they are in the bath just give them some soap and a cloth and get them to clean the tiles and other surfaces. You might want to give them a rinse down afterwards to get rid of scum (the child, not the tiles), but this is much simpler than cleaning the whole bath.
5. Beds – sick of changing sheets? Ditch your partner. Become single and suddenly the need to change your sheets more than a few times a year goes out the window. Tada!
So that’s it. Slummy Mummy’s guide to housework. Some valuable advice there I’m sure you’ll agree. Do share your own time-saving tips!
Photo credit: suesviews
Absolutely brilliant. Recently my daughter got so fed up with me nagging her in the mornings to stop doing her hair (an hour and half) and actually have breakfast, she decided that eating her cereal before she goes to bed counts as an early breakfast. – I think my favourite confession though, is one I read once; it was how a mother sent her kids to bed in their school uniforms to save time the following morning
Haha! That is a VERY early breakfast. I like her style! My youngest quite often asks if she can put her uniform on before bed so she can lie in – I have clearly passed on the slummy gene…
I don’t clean ovens. Just can’t see the point. Occasionally I pay the lovely K to clean my house and she looks horrified at the state of it. Nah. Don’t sweat the housework. No one will ever be getting to the final furlong saying “I’ve so many domestic-chore related regrets.”
Ovens are just the silliest thing to clean – they have a door to hide the filth! That would be like cleaning the inside walls of your cupboards.
You know what they say: “Women with immaculate houses lead dull lives.”
Oh these are brilliant. I think I love you.
You are my soul sister and my sister’s soul sister too come to think of it….LOVE the tips.
Ok I have a few more to add to your list Slummy, after a long career avoiding housework –
1) Don’t bother cleaning dog, just get her to jump in when you’re having a shower (yes that did happen!)
2) Don’t buy Duplo it gets stuck in the vacuum cleaner. Buy lego they woosh right up the hose very tidily
3)Always dress for dinner with friends accentuating lots of cleavage. No one will notice the housework.
4) Mops can simultaneously clean walls, floors and small children on floors!
5) Buy picnic set and throw away after use. No dishes!
Oooooh I could go on, but merciful am, I won’t.
I throw my crumbs in the pot plant. Over time they form an interesting crust on the surface of the mud. Or collect them on my socks throughout the day and then just turn the socks inside out when you take them off, putting them in the washing bin. Oh what a bunch of dirty clarts we all are, makes me feel better that I am not alone.
My mum totally sent toys left out to local charities, and it worked. Twenty years later, I always clear my toys from the floor before bed.
thanks for the link.
you and I are clearly soulmates because I also think that arranging my books in colour order is a very important chore!
It is! Far more important to have nicely co-ordinating book cases than to have clean toilets.
[...] I struggle with on a day to day basis. I manage a seven year age gap between two feisty daughters, hide crumbs behind the sofa and every day lose the battle to get my teenager to wear a [...]
As a single parent of a 6year old daughter I run my own hairdressing salon an am secretary of the parents council I am a complete slummy mummy I have hidden dishes I think I’m allergic to the hoover as I am on my 3rd one this year as I keep blowing them up I don’t iron tried it once wit a glass of wine 2 bottles later ironin looked worse and breakfast is toast in the car on the way to school an if I haven’t washed her face usually its a spit in a hankie which she hates! I’m glad I’m not the only one
[...] Slummy Mummy's amazing, time-saving housework tips! « Slummy … [...]
[...] Slummy Mummy's amazing, time-saving housework tips! « Slummy … [...]
hee hee. I use my toddlers toilet wipes to give the bathroom surfaces a once over before my mum visits. no need to actually clean the bathroom!
if u like confessions check out my confessathn blog!
http://marketingtomilk.wordpress.com/2010/03/15/get-confessing/
Great confessions!
I have been known to spit on a bit of tissue to clean the dining table. I’m sure spit is full of antibodies or something…
you people are nasty! come on now it dont take much to vac or sweep wash dishes or anything of that sort.
Well no, isn’t doesn’t take much, but it’s so DULL!
you people Are a disgrace to human to life. people like you should not be able to have children you should be reported to child services this is just plain gross.
hahahaha! You are right Max. I feel ashamed now. I am off to turn myself in.
[...] I make no secret of the fact that I don’t like housework. If you’ve read my fantastic housework tips you’ll probably have cottoned on to the fact that I am not a clean [...]
tired of picking up tiny toys, get the shop vac out schhlloooph!
Very funny, thanks for the laugh. Not really what I was looking for when I entered “housework time saving tips”into google tho
Haha! I do look at the search terms people use to find me and then sometimes feel bad – I’m sure most of the time I’m really NOT what people were looking for!
Funnily enough I googled the same thing, and ended up here.
I tell my kids ( 3 and 5 ) that if they don’t get their toys put away before dinner I’ll just have to hoover them up. After about 5 minutes and they haven’t done much I say, well I’ll guess I’ll just have to get the hoover out then and I start hoovering around them getting closer and closer. Never seen them tidy up so fast.
[...] so maybe it’s not the first thing you thing of, but I did once write that post about housework you know. I think I suggested throwing crumbs behind the [...]
[...] the Slummy single mummy guide to housework, stain removal does not feature highly. I’m so busy throwing crumbs behind the sofa and [...]
[...] Slummy Mummy’s amazing, time-saving housework tips! « Slummy …Feb 9, 2010 … It is a few weeks ago now that I confessed to some of my most secret habits, including occasional hiding of dirty dishes in cupboards, so I … [...]