I have an issue with lip balms.
I don’t object to the concept – a lip balm is a very useful thing, especially at this time of the year – it’s more the reality of lip balms.
Yesterday I took Belle to Sainsbury’s. I was encouraging a bit of interaction/exercise by trying to get her to run and find ten different items before I got to the checkout, but by item seven, (chicken gravy granules), she had lost interest.
“I’m going to look at the make-up,” she said. “I need a lip balm.”
I know for a fact* that there are already 127 lip balms in her bedroom, so why does she need another one? Think about it for a moment, have you ever actually got to the end of a lip balm and thought ‘Oh look, my lip balm has run out, I need to buy another one?’
No, of course you haven’t, because they are deliberately designed to get lost about three weeks after you buy one, giving you the impression that you really need to buy another one. Or you will be out, and the lip balm you always keep in your bag will have purposefully jumped out at home, so that you have to buy it a chum as you pass through Boots.
Here are a few facts I have made up about lip balms, which I feel must be true:
- If you put together all the lip balms I have ever bought for myself and my daughters, they would take up an area the size of Wales. (It’s always Wales isn’t it? Why Wales?!)
- If I had put all the money I’ve spent on lip balms over the years into a savings account, I would now have enough money to buy a small three bedroom house in Leicester.
- If you piled all of the lip balms I have bought on top of each other, (you might need glue), they would reach to the moon and back two and a half times.
I just don’t understand them. Where do they go?! Why am I always buying them?! Why is my house not literally full of lip balm?
Does anyone else feel like this about lip balm?!
*Not an actual fact, but it feels like it.
Image – images72/shutterstock