Today I have been thinking about orgasms.
According to New Boyfriend, the natural ratio of male to female orgasms – ‘me time’ and sex toys aside – is five to one, three to one if you’re lucky. Apparently this is Nature’s Way. Something to do with cavemen and childbirth.
I’m pretty sure he is just saying this to wind me up, which seems to be the case with 95% of the things he says, but it did make me wonder.
“Ask anyone,” he said, “it’s just a fact.”
“Rubbish,” I countered, “women are definitely supposed to have more. How about I ask some of your friends next week?”
“Go on then…” he challenged.
“Fine, I will,” I said, easily wound up as I am. “You know it’s the kind of thing I would ask…”
As a preliminary study, I asked some male friends, friends who will remain anonymous as I perhaps didn’t exactly make it explicit at the time that I would be quoting them. The general consensus seemed to be that women should have more than men – “my mrs certainly does, judging from the noises she makes.” Boasts.
Even if it isn’t perhaps the natural outcome, those surveyed (who I’m sure weren’t in any way just saying it to impress), seemed to think it should definitely be the aspirational outcome.
“Three to one might be the ‘natural’ ratio, depending on how excitable one is,” explained one friend, “but the desired ratio would be the opposite of that. It’s nearly always a struggle to obtain that result mind,” he added as a cautionary note, “so you need to consider this in the justification of your argument. You don’t understand the pressure you put on us men with your expectations of performance!”
Personally I’m happy with an equal share, but three to one in my favour sounds good too.
I did have one more honest friend.
“Who has the most orgasms,” I asked him, “men or women?”
“I’m just going by my experience,” he said, “so I’d have to say men.”
Straight to the point.
So, what do you reckon? Who gets most? I dare you to share…
Afterthought: I would like to clarify that this post is in response to a general discussion on the topic, and in no way a reflection of New Boyfriend’s sexual prowess, or ability to finish the job. (Kiss kiss to New Boyfriend).