The dentist

This week I took a call from my dentist. This is a surprise in itself as I don’t normally answer the phone, but it was right there next to me and I was feeling reckless, so thought ‘what the hell!’

I’m mad I am.

Anyway, I said hello, which I’ve heard is the done thing, and they said ‘hello, Stoke Lane Dental Practice here’.

Immediately I wished I hadn’t bothered answering, as I am a teensy tiny bit scared of dentists, and immediately had a minor panic that they were phoning to remind me I was having all my teeth taken out in an hour or something.

Fortunately though, complicated dental surgery turned out not to be imminent – they were just calling to reschedule my appointment in January. Phew.

Apart from the fear, taking my children to the dentist always makes me feel a bit guilty. Despite my best attempts at encouraging dental hygiene, Belle has always been a reluctant brusher, and every time I take her for a check-up, I imagine they will peer into her mouth, raise their eyebrows and say “Hmmm… I see you’re a bad parent then…”

I have tried. I’ve carefully researched the best electric toothbrush, bought disclosing tablets, experimented with numerous mouthwashes, but no matter how many times I show her my collection of fillings, she just doesn’t seem to be able to motivate herself.

(In my research, I was particularly drawn to the ad for the Colgate pro clinical, which shows them brushing an egg, as this is basically my teeth – shell-like enamel that crumbles at the merest tap with a Werther’s Original),

At the moment she has a musical toothbrush. The idea is that it helps her know how long to brush for, but it also gives us something to listen out for. She could well of course be just switching it on and eating some sweets for two minutes, but short of standing over her twice a day, (who can be bothered with that?), I just have to trust her.

And save up for the inevitable dental bills.

How do you get your children to brush their teeth?