“Yes,” said Belle, as we checked into the Old Stocks Inn in Stow-on-the-Wold, “this is me. This is my aesthetic.”

“This is your aesthetic?” I repeated, turning around slowly to face her. I feel sometimes like I don’t really understand the modern world and the language young people use. She’s always telling me to do things like ‘search things up’ on the internet and yesterday I went into Waterstones and there was a whole display that I just didn’t understand – it seemed to be young people from The YouTube who had made their own picture books with silly names.

“Yes,” she said. “You know, the pastels?”

I didn’t know, but I took her word for it, because the decor at the Old Stocks Inn was amazing. They have clearly gone to a lot of effort with the finish, and from the minute we arrived there was that lovely feeling of being spoilt – the sort of feeling that makes you sit a little bit more neatly at dinner, and be sure to always be smiling, to fit in with the nice surroundings.

We were shown to our room – the bunker.

Thankfully there was no aspect of it at all that actually resembled a bunker, and we were thrilled with it. It’s designed for families with up to three children, which makes a nice change for a hotel, and Belle was immediately at home in her area, which had triple-stacked bunks and an XBox. We were particularly pleased with the way you could separate the children’s area with a curtain, so we could all have a bit of privacy at the same time as feeling like a family.

The Old Stocks Inn, Stow On The Wold View Post

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A few nights ago I had a phone call from Bee. (She’s 20 now remember, and lives in London – who’d have thought I could have a 20 year old daughter when I only feel about 23?! You’d think there would be some sort of law or test or something.)

Bee was having a bit of a panic, and had phoned me for some moral support. My tactic in these sort of situations, after some soothing deep breathing, is to try and get the other person to laugh. To me, laughter feels like such an important thing – if you can still laugh about something, even when you’re in distress or despair, then that must be a good thing. Unfortunately for the person I am ‘supporting’, I sometimes accidentally laugh at them, which is probably less helpful, but I always mean it in a friendly way, to try and get them to see a slightly lighter side of a situation.

So, once Bee was chuckling a little bit, we tried to come up with a fun activity for her to do that would distract her from worrying about her arm feeling numb, and give her something to focus on. I love that quote about always having your diaries to hand for something interesting to read, so she had a flick through, and confirmed that she did often say hilarious things. I set her the challenge to read through the archives, and pick out some of the funniest, sweetest or most random things she could find.

“Will you put it in a blog post?” she asked.

I paused, worried that I had become the sort of parent whose children felt they couldn’t say anything without it being documented.

“I hope you do,” she added.

So I did.

daughter's diary

In-between literary theory notes: “Rhubarb – in a pan with sugar honey ginger raspberries. Greek yoghurt. Granola.” View Post

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I did two things yesterday.

I mean, dur, obviously I did more than two actual things – I got up and showered and got dressed and everything like that. What I meant was that I did two things – two activities that stood out, stuff I don’t do in a regular day.

Thing one – I went out in the evening to the 10Radio studios in Wiveliscombe, where I’m a community radio volunteer, and delivered a Twitter workshop to about 20 other volunteers. I had slides and everything.

Thing two – I went to the launderette for a service wash.

(I know right? I’m living the absolute dream. If you have ever felt like jacking in your well-paid, full-time job and embracing the life of a freelancer, this is going to be that moment – the tipping point you look back on for years to come, when you decided that yes, it was the life for you.)

Standing up in front of a room full of people and talking about Twitter for 40 minutes was easy peasy. I was looking forward to it if anything. It’s something I’ve done quite a bit of, I know my stuff, and I love being the centre of attention. Ace.

The launderette though… View Post

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For the last month I’ve been working with The Co-op on a healthy eating challenge. I’ve written about our slightly suspect diet, and the high proportion of chocolate brioche in Belle’s diet, Belle has made a tomato soup video, we’ve shared recipes, and switched from white to brown bread.

Great, that’s all good. Easy peasy you might think.

But if it’s so easy, why aren’t we all eating well?

The challenge has really made me think, not just about what I put in my mouth, but why. We all know the theory after all – we all know that too much sugar is bad for us, that we need to eat more fruit and vegetables, that fibre is important – it’s a no brainer. We know that by eating rubbish we are risking our long term health, and yet most of us still do it.

We make excuses of course – we’re too busy, we don’t have time to cook from scratch, good food is more expensive – but when it comes down to it, all of these things are just excuses. Changing your diet isn’t about just switching to wholewheat pasta and filling up the fruit bowl, because if it was that easy, we’d all do it.

It must be something else.

healthy eating

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I’ve been accused in the past of being flighty or fickle, of giving up on things. 

My first reaction has often been a defensive one, partly because the people who’ve said these things in the past have often said them meaning them to be hurtful, and when you know something is meant as a criticism, it’s hard to take it otherwise. Also though, there is a part of me that wonders if they might be right, and if that makes me a bad person.

Because the truth is that I do give things up quite often. I went along to a local drama group for a few months and then changed my mind, I’ve tried body pump and hated every minute, I’ve started jobs and left them, I’ve moved house a lot, I’ve started classes and stopped again, and I even have about 15,000 words of a murder mystery novel written somewhere. I do give up on things.

But I also try a lot of things.

I could easily have not given up any of those things, by simply not trying them in the first place, but where would be the fun in that? How are you meant to know if you are going to enjoy something unless you give it a go? And just because something is fun at a certain point in your life, does that mean you’re stuck with it forever? 

There is also a lot to be said for having a level of awareness that enables you to recognise when a task is fruitless, a job unsuitable, and let it go. Sure, sometimes you do just have to get on with things – you can’t leave the washing up indefinitely – but there is evidence that relentless determination, the sort that ex-boyfriends would have liked to have seen more evidence of in me, is actually overrated. 

Oliver Burkeman, writing in his regular spot in The Guardian recently, talked about new research that showed that this sort of ‘grit’ isn’t always a good thing. Apparently, the research showed that ‘grittier people were likelier to keep grappling with hard, or even unsolvable puzzles, even when it led to lower overall scores and chances of cash rewards.’

That doesn’t sound cool does it? Ambition and determination are one thing, but it’s important to remember that pushing yourself on and on regardless isn’t always going to lead to success. Sometimes you just have to stop, and accept that something isn’t working out for you. There’s a big difference between simply giving up and recognising when it’s time to move on.

I don’t think there is any shame in giving up on something, as long as you’re prepared to give it a go in the first place and you learn a little bit about yourself along the way, even if it’s just that you don’t like body pump.

How do you feel about giving things up? Does it make you feel guilty or are you comfortable with your choices?

giving up

 

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This week, my fiancé brought a lot of belongings home from a place that we have been referring to as ‘fake storage’. Fake storage, because every now and again he would drop into conversation that he had an item that was ‘in storage’, and yet nothing ever appeared.

“Don’t buy a griddle pan,” he would say, “I’ve got one those in storage.”

“At Christmas I’ll be wearing my red Christmas trousers,” he’d tease us with, “once I get them out of storage.”

The storage, however, was far from fake.

We now have a flat full of assorted kitchen items, brightly coloured trousers, sheet music and cricket memorabilia. It’s not that I don’t like having his things here, I love that it now feels like the house belongs to us both, it’s just that you can’t help but come in after a day at work and think you’ve accidentally stepped onto the set of Secret Hoarders.

If I’m honest, I was a little freaked out about it when fake storage day came around. I couldn’t figure it out for a while, and then I realised that I’ve never really lived with someone who has had their own stuff. Sure, they’ve turned up with clothes and the odd salad spinner or something, but not hefty items. No king sized beds or bookcases or golf clubs. I’ve never even had a picture up in my house that wasn’t my own.

In a way though, it feels like a fresh start – a chance to take stock and figure out what stuff is really important to us and how we want our home to look. What better way to be inspired then, and escape the boxes full of DVDs for a happy hour, than with a browse on Pinterest. In fact, I put together a whole Pinterest board for Furniture Village, with all of my ideas for a cosy Autumn bedroom.

Check it out here. It includes pastries.

Autumn interiors View Post

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Christmas wouldn’t be Christmas without LEGO.

However old you are, LEGO is always awesome, so it’s no surprise that not one but two LEGO items have made it onto the list of top toys for 2015. To make it nice and easy for you, wishagift™ have put the top toys into a Christmas wishlist. 

wishagift™ has been set up to solve your gift-giving problems. It lets you set up wish lists for all occasions, add any item from any retailers’ website with the wishagift™ button and share your wish lists with friends and family. It’s brilliant for kids’ Christmas lists, and makes it super easy to make sure everyone gets what they really want for Christmas, rather than those awful collections of toiletries, or novelty box sets that you only ever see at Christmas, with a miniature Baileys and novelty glass, or Marmite tea towel.

wishagift™ have very kindly given me one of the top toys to giveaway – the LEGO City Deep Sea Exploration Vessel, worth £79.99. This would make an amazing present for just about anyone, or just keep it yourself, and say it’s a mindfulness tool, like adult colouring.

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Regular readers may remember that last summer I went through a bit of a bad patch emotionally.

I sort of whispered that, to be ironic about the fact that we aren’t meant to talk about mental health difficulties, but let’s be honest, we all know I was a bit of a wreck. It’s one thing to feel a bit down in the dumps, another to get as far as the kitchen, shaking, only to burst into tears and run back to bed, feeling completely unable to put a teabag in the cup.

That’s life though isn’t it? We all go through shitty times, just like we go through ace times, and none of it lasts, even the good stuff.

While I was feeling iffy, I tried a lot of things to perk myself up – I read a lot about fear and positive thinking, I played relaxation CDs and uplifting music and I listened to podcasts from an overly optimistic American man who repeatedly told me how awesome I was, and how, if I ever felt down, I should hold a pencil between my teeth and look around me at the glory of nature.

(I did do the pencil thing on many an occasion – it changes your expression and tricks your brain into thinking you’re smiling. It’s pretty effective as a short term measure, just like sitting up straight and lifting your eyes. Your brain is easily fooled.)

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*The free sample offer has now expired, sorry about that – click HERE to enter a draw to win a spa break for two instead!*

I’ve been having migraines since I was about 12 years old.

When I was younger, they always followed a very specific pattern. They would always come on at the same time in the morning – just after nine o’clock – when I was at school, going between registration and assembly.

Writing that now, it feels like it can’t actually be true – how many people really get migraines at exactly the same minute every single time? I swear it happened like that though. Every memory I have of them coming on at school is on that walk between my tutor room and the school hall, through the courtyard that sat in the middle of the school.

They would start with a weird sensation that things didn’t look quite as they were meant to look – bright lights and blind spots are always common with my migraines. The next couple of hours where then always the worst; knowing that the headache was coming, but unable to do anything about it, presenting myself at the nurse’s office, for her to look suspiciously at me for a while until I threw up with the pain and she was convinced. I’d then have to spend an unpredictable amount of time lying on the bed in the sick room while I waited for my mum to be at home to answer the phone and then come and collect me.

Nowadays they are a bit more haphazard. They don’t start at a predictable time of the day, and they are far less frequent – the trigger now seems to be stress rather than hormones – but the sense of dread that comes with the onset of the disturbed vision remains the same. View Post

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We don’t have a chimney in our house at the moment*, which isn’t really a problem when it comes to Christmas, as no one seems to physically write a Christmas list any more. When they were smaller, Bee and Belle liked to write lists, and there was even cutting and sticking from catalogues, which when I was younger was definitely the cue to get excited about Christmas.

Not any more.

One Christmas, or it may have been a birthday, Bee’s list was in the form of a Pinterest board, and more often than not I’m now just presented with an email or collection of links in a ‘note’ on the iPad. You’re not fooling me iPad – just because you try to make your notes look like they are being written on actual paper, doesn’t mean I’m taken in. I can’t burn that up the chimney for Santa can I?

(Not unless I want to put a new iPad on the list.)

I’m waffling on about this because apparently, according to research from GAME, this week is the week for writing your Christmas list. It’s the week that in the past would have seen kids everywhere getting out their best felt tip pens and festive stickers, but instead now sees them browsing the Internet and sharing gift ideas on Snapchat.

Almost half (49%) of UK children, according to the research, will be starting their lists this week, and around one in three children now use technology such as iPads or mobile phones instead of the traditional pen and paper. A particularly lazy subsection – 19% to be precise – will rely on parents to take note of all the things they point at during TV adverts and during trips to the shops. View Post

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Homemade potato gnocchi with herbs and tomato sauce

Did you know that potatoes are in decline? They’re not depressed or anything, we’re literally just eating fewer potato based meals. Gone are the days of sitting down every day to meat, potatoes and two veg. Now it’s all spaghetti and lasagne, or worse still, carb free.

(Not a way to live in my opinion.)

Although potatoes might immediately make you think of your Grandad, they actually have a lot going for them.

Think about it.

They’re incredibly versatile, completely natural and unprocessed, and a valuable source of things like fibre and potassium. They’re often very locally produced, and cheap too. They’re wheat free, gluten free, fat free, saturated fat free, salt free, dairy free, low in sugar, suitable for vegetarians and vegans – they tick literally all of the boxes.

There is something so simple about a potato – when you cook with a potato, you’re cooking from scratch, and everyone knows that’s one of the most important changes we need to make to our diets. So this week I thought I’d get adventurous with my potato recipes and make some homemade potato gnocchi. We eat quite a bit of gnocchi but I’ve never made it myself, so it was time to get creative.

homemade potato gnocchi View Post

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This week for #CharityTuesday I’m featuring HOPE International Development Agency UK. As you know, I went to Ethiopia a couple of years ago, and so development in Ethiopia is a cause very close to my heart. Please read about the work of HOPE International Development Agency UK and support them in any way you can.

HOPE International Development Agency UK

These women in Dorze Bele, Ethiopia set off four times a day to collect water for drinking, cooking and cleaning. When full, their jerry cans weigh 40lbs.

So, what’s the problem?

Water is precious but unfortunately nearly 1 billion people in the world do not have access to clean water. Without clean water, people have to source water from unprotected sources – streams, lakes, ponds – which can lead to disease and sometimes death. As a result, every 90 seconds a child dies from water-related disease which could be prevented if clean, safe water were available. In addition, because in Africa women and girls bear the main responsibility for collecting water, on average they spend three hours a day sourcing water when they otherwise would be at school or working to financially benefit their families. Often these journeys are physically dangerous and in some areas, women and girls risk being attacked.

How does your organisation set out to solve it? What makes your approach unique?

HOPE International Development Agency works in rural, southwest Ethiopia to help communities access clean water. HOPE has been working in that region for nearly 30 years and is presently the only charity there helping the rural poor to break free from extreme poverty.

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