My dream olympic tickets

Did you register for olympic tickets? More to the point, did you get any??

I didn’t on either count, and on reflection feel like a bit of a spoil sport. Having the olympics just an hour or two up the road is a once in a lifetime opportunity after all, perhaps I should have been a bit more enthusiastic?

The trouble is, when I picture myself going to watch the olympics, the scene I imagine incorporates rather too much queuing, traffic and general complaining from the children for my liking, and all to get a not terribly good view of someone competing in a sport I’m not that interested in. You can see why I’ve opted instead for being an armchair olympic spectator. All I have to do is walk downstairs, and there is no queue at all normally for tea and snacks in my kitchen.

The olympics are famous for including a rather questionable selection of ‘sports’ over the years, so in lieu of getting real life olympic tickets, I thought I’d come up with a few olympic events that I think really would be worth queuing for:

Celebrity competitive cupcake eating – we’re massive fans in our house of Man Vs Food, and I think competitive eating would translate into an awesome olympic event. If you make it celebrity only you could even turn it into a profit-making occasion, and try to claw back some of the billions of pounds we’re spending on the whole extravaganza. I’m thinking an auction – highest bidder gets to be an official Olympic Fondant Wiper. I’m sure there are plenty of people who would pay for the privilege of strategically wiping cupcake icing from Colin Firth’s cheek between mouthfuls.

"competitive cupcake eating"

One your marks…

‘Supermarket scuffle’ – Have you ever seen anyone kicking off in a supermarket? Two frazzled mums arguing over the last reduced pack of chicken chunks maybe? It’s compelling stuff. Come on, don’t pretend like you’re above all that, and would ignore the whole thing and head for the organic chick pea aisle. You know we all love a public argument. Loser gets pelted with stale rolls.

"bread rolls"

Roll up roll up…


Teeth cleaning contest – This is just a personal thing that I thought might help with the little issue I have getting Belle to clean her teeth. I was thinking if it was actually an olympic sport, something where there was a medal at stake, she might be more inclined to put in the training. And if she could sell tickets, even better. She does love putting on a show.

A girl can dream right?

Cupcake photo credit – snowy******* and bread roll photo credit – minato


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