This time last week I was at The Steady Table writing group, sneakily writing a blog post about writing a blog post, which feels terribly confusing. A bit like looking in one of those horrible mirrors in the Debenhams changing rooms where you see the vastness of your bottom reflected again and again as though there are a hundred bottoms lining a long corridor.
Tonight though, I am determined to be more creative, and not to just write about dull things like the mystery muffin someone has just bought from the cafe. (“We don’t know what they are,” says the waiter helpfully, “they were just on that tray when we got here.”)
I order half a cider to help get the creative juices flowing. Nothing happens, except that after about ten minutes I do need a wee.
“What’s in the muffin then?” I ask Holly.
“Well,” she looks unsure, “I can see sunflower seeds, but I’m not sure I’ll be able to confirm anything further than that. Banana maybe?”
It seems a good guess as far as muffin ingredients go.
“Have you ever hugged a tree?” someone else asks, provoking a discussion about the best clothes to wear for tree hugging. Not cream if the tree is mossy.
Damn it. This is not creative writing. This is just me typing stuff that people are saying. I hope no one notices. I don’t imagine it would make for relaxed, friendly chat if everyone suspected I was taking down their every word.
“I can definitely confirm it is a banana muffin,” concludes Holly.
Perhaps I had better stop.