Have you heard the news? I’m going to be an auntie!

OK, so that’s not really true. But I could be Kate Middleton’s sister. I wouldn’t need to change my name or anything, just, um, lose a pound or two? And bring out an over-hyped party planning book. And change into a new dress every couple of hours. Easy peasy.

All the celebrity magazines have of course been awash this month with news of Kate Middleton’s pregnancy. It makes me a little bit sad, as it was only recently that I opted to put money on a horse, just because it had the word ‘squirrel’ in its name, rather than on a royal baby for 2013. Needless to say my squirrel horse didn’t do very well.

Despite missing the opportunity to cash in on Kate’s morning sickness misery, I can still get involved in the whole excitement of it – what names will they choose? What maternity wear will she be seen in? Will she be too posh to push? All the important questions naturally. I’m not normally a royalist, but everyone loves an excuse to think about something other than the conflict in Syria or Libya or some other stricken country ending in ‘a’. I got properly into the royal wedding. I think I may even have shed a tear.

Renowned as I am for my fashion sense, I thought I’d pick out a few outfits for Kate from Tiffany Rose. What do you think of these?

"Maternity day wear"

Some stylish day wear for shaking hands with old people, opening orphanages and what not. As worn by all the celebs this one.

"Maternity evening dress"

Something fancy for when Pippa launches her next book – ‘101 ways with ribbon – a gorgeous guide to gift-wrapping’

"maternity nightwear"

Loungewear chic – for chilling out on the sofa, watching TOWIE, with her feet up on a corgi.

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What did people say to you when you told them you were pregnant? After the congratulations were out of the way, how many times were you warned of the sleepless nights to come, the rollercoaster hormone ride?

How seriously did you take it though? ‘Oh yes, sleepless nights! How hard can it be? I’ll just nap when my baby naps, they have to sleep sometime right?’

*shakes head pityingly*

Of course sometimes it does go right. Take Bee for instance – she was a miracle baby, sleeping through the night from six weeks old. In my head it was all down to me and my chillaxed parenting style. I was more than happy to take all the credit for her amazing ability to sleep, right up until Belle was born that is. Then suddenly I was convinced it was nature and not nurture, how else could I explain Belle not sleeping through the night until she started school?

This is where Start4Life comes in. The Start4Life team of medical experts, midwives and health visitors has pulled together the essential information to help new parents focus on the most important things they can do to improve their health and to get their baby off to the best start. Whether it’s breastfeeding, post-natal exercise or just remembering to drink plenty of water, there’s a lot you can do to help keep your family fit and healthy.

Not only that, but they’ve given me three copies of What To Expect When You’re Expecting’ on DVD to give away. What To Expect When You’re Expecting follows the lives of five couples, dealing with the highs and lows of becoming parents, and concluding that no matter how hard you plan, sometimes life just throws the unexpected at you.

"What to expect when you're expecting"

If you’d like your own copy of the film, just leave a comment on this post with your top tip for new and expectant parents on things they can do to take care of themselves and give their baby the best possible start. The competition will close on 21 November and three winners will be picked at random.

Good luck!

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“Hello Jo,

I’m a Canadian musician, living in Mexico, married to a Bristol man, mother of two and about to release my 5th independent album.”

Now that’s a cracking start to an email isn’t it? If someone sent that to you you’d definitely read on. I know I did.

The email was from Camille Miller, asking me to have a listen to a track from her new EP called ‘Tiniest of Hearts’, written while Camille was pregnant with her first child, Hannah. Now I don’t know about you, but I find it pretty hard to identify with most modern music. You’ll not often find me ‘in the club with a bottle of bub’ or anything like that, and I find it difficult to get my head round exactly why Rhianna would love the way somebody hurts her and lies to her. That’s not a thing is it? Come on girl, pull yourself together.

Pregnancy and parenthood though, that’s something I know about. Why are there not more songs about that? Sure, the day-to-day logistics of it might not be terribly glamorous, but actually becoming and being a parent is a very powerful, emotional thing.

Camille is going to be in the UK over Christmas and the New Year doing some shows, so why not have a listen to Tiniest of Hearts, and maybe check out her website for show dates, buy an album, or just leave some sort of lovely comment telling her how much you like the song.*

 
*Only if you do obviously. I’m not asking you to lie. If you don’t like it though, probably best just to keep quiet.

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I received an email this week from a chap called Simon Wright. It began thus…

“Hi Jo,

Umm… I have no idea whether you deal with messages like this on a regular basis, but I have a blog based around the subject of choosing baby names, and I was wondering if you’d like to take it? I’d like it to have a home somewhere.”

Well no Simon, I can’t say I do deal with messages like this on a regular basis. I read the piece, and it actually wasn’t bad. I asked what the catch was, but apparently there wasn’t one. Curiouser and Curiouser.

So, always keen to save myself a bit of time and effort where possible, I decided to give it a home. You can’t leave anyone out in the cold at Christmas after all can you?

…

“There’s no way!” I exclaimed, “Absolutely no way I’d ever call my child Jeremy! I want him to open the batting for England with a crisp cover drive for four. Call him Jeremy and he’ll grow up to be a car salesman or investment banker.”

I wasn’t entirely sure how I’d arrived at discussing children’s names with my future mother-in-law, but there I was. It was happening. It wasn’t awkward, as my fiancée and I have had the ‘name chat’ on a number of occasions, but it was an eye opener. For a lady who named her kids Simon and Laura – two perfectly good names – she was coming up with some right stinkers, while poo pooing what Laura and I had agreed on.

It got me thinking – should couples discuss the names of future children, without even having placed dough in the oven? And, that being the case, should one learn not to discuss too much with the other half’s mum? It’s a ‘yes’ in both instances. View Post

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New research published this week by the University of Bristol, claims that within families, teen pregnancy tends to be contagious.

What an odd term to choose.

Contagious. Makes it sound like a nasty disease doesn’t it? Not, in my humble ‘I-was-a-teenage-mum-and-I-don’t-live-off-benefits’ opinion, a terribly positive start to the piece.

The study found that having an elder sister go through a teen pregnancy increases the chance of a teenage pregnancy in younger siblings – known as a ‘peer effect’. This peer effect is apparently a powerful force, doubling the likelihood of a younger sister becoming pregnant as a teenager, from one in five to two in five. View Post

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I am middle aged.

It’s official.

This week I stuck my new National Trust members badge inside my car windscreen, and on Sunday I actively chose to watch Antiques Roadshow. And enjoyed it.

“And my periods are getting closer together!” I moaned to my friend Lucy.

“Well that’s it then,” she said, “early menopause. It’s downhill all the way now.”

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I’ve been thinking for a while now about donating some eggs. I don’t mean as a weird raffle prize or anything, I’m talking my actual eggs. Part of me. From my ovaries. You get the picture.

I’ve never had any trouble getting pregnant, even at times when I didn’t really mean to. First time round, at 16, it obviously wasn’t planned. The second time, it was a conscious choice, but I remember it more as a ‘yeah, having a baby might be quite nice to do at some point, let’s see what happens…’ sort of decision. A bit like considering a weekend at Centre Parcs. A few weeks off the pill though and bam. Baby on board.

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I am proud to call myself a feminist. I support the Fawcett Society, I co-edit Women’s Views on News, I try to be a positive female role model for my daughters… basically I do my bit.

But…

Sometimes I find it a tiny bit depressing.

It’s not that I don’t care about equality – I absolutely do. The fact that women earn less than men isn’t right. Underrepresentation of women in politics and business bothers me. Sometimes though, feeling passionate about an injustice means you focus on the negative, on the things you feel are wrong and that you want to put right, and this sometimes makes me sad, because I become so tied up in all the things that aren’t fair, that I forget all the good things.

So today, when I read in The Daily Mail that men are losing out to women in many areas of life, I ignored my first instinct, namely to rubbish everything the Mail says, and thought instead about how lucky I am. This doesn’t mean I think there isn’t anything left to fight for, just that I’m not in a battling mood today.

The Daily Mail are reporting on the findings of the ‘How Fair is Britain?’ report from the Equality and Human Rights Commission, and highlight the fact that women are less likely to lose their jobs in a recession, more likely to eat well and look after their health, less likely to be victims of violent crimes, and so on. Well that’s all well and good, but you can read that anywhere can’t you? So, instead I’ve decided to come up with my own list of reasons why it’s great to be a woman:

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I had my first baby when I was just 17 years old. Not on purpose you understand, but that is another story… Now I was under the illusion that young bodies were stretchy and supple. I imagined my baby would form a neat bump and that I would spring pertly back into place two weeks after birth.

Oh how wrong I was.

At about eight months pregnant my stomach erupted into a mass of hideous purple stretch marks – it turns out my young skin just couldn’t take the strain. I know I’m not alone – a friend of mine recently wrote about the frightening array of pregnancy body nasties, and it turns out that all kinds of things can happen to you – cankles anyone?

Two babies and over two years of breastfeeding later and my 31 year old mummy body could certainly do with a bit of work. Not of the surgical kind of course, just the ‘me getting myself off the sofa once in a while’ variety. I kid myself that typing counts as exercise, but I know I am clutching at straws.

I was pleased therefore to read in The Mail today about It’s Complicated, a new rom-com starring Meryl Streep and Alec Baldwin. The Mail claims the film is testimony to the fact that ‘wobbly bits can be sexy too!’ I really hope that is the case, as I certainly have my fair share.

As a single mum, I feel more conscious than ever about the parts of me that are not so perfect. When you are in a relationship with the father of your children you can take comfort from the fact that at least they can remember what you looked liked before your tummy bulged over the top of your jeans. When you’re single, you have to deal with the daunting prospect of at some point having to reveal your naked body – stretch marks and all – to a new man. A scary thought indeed.

But then as It’s Complicated shows, perhaps we should be a little more accepting of ourselves and realise it’s not just women who feel the effects of ageing. At least I don’t have to worry about balding. Well not yet at least.

Flickr image by bies

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