I’ve decided that there are too many pens in my house.
I don’t have a big house, and I’ve started to feel like pens are taking up more than their fair share of the space. I don’t know exactly what proportion of a typical family home should be given over to pens, but something feels wrong about the current situation.
There are pens everywhere – in cups on top of the fridge and in mugs on my desk. In every wicker storage basket and biscuit tin in the house there will be at least one pen. Under my desk there is an entire cardboard box full of them.
What’s the deal though when you have too many pens? What are you supposed to do with them? A charity shop doesn’t want a box of half used biros, but you can’t exactly throw them in the bin can you? That’s way too decadent. ‘Oh these? They’re just a few pens I don’t want’. It would be wrong.
In the shower this morning, thinking over the pen situation, (which is ironic given that the shower is one of the few places in the house without pens in it), I concluded that I will probably never have to buy another pen in my whole life. That’s quite a sobering thought – I am so old and the pens are so powerful that they may well outlive me. In fact, such is the speed with which these pens seem to appear, they may end up forming small gangs, pen communities if you will, and taking over the house.
It’s not like I can even do anything to stem the flow as I have no idea where they come from. I have a pen in my bag for instance, a blue barreled biro, that just says ‘raccoon’ on it in big red letters. What does that even mean? I have never bought a pen with ‘raccoon’ written on it and yet there it is, bold as brass, casually lying around in my bag. I can almost hear it chuckling at me, sniggering with its sneaky pen friends behind my back.
So what can I do to take back control? Do you have something similar that takes over your house? How do you deal with it? Give me some pointers and I’ll make a list.
Just let me find a pen…